I Love the Thought of Being With You
by jaznsam
Summary: Harper find herself alone in the apocalypse, that is until she meets Negan who saves her life. He sees the world as a sick place and can't handle loosing anyone else. What kind of hell will these two endure? Will they end up loosing each other? Rated M. (Pre Negan being the leader of The Saviors.)
1. For Once Unafraid

I was twenty-four and had already been through hell and back. I had lost my family, and most recently my best friend. I was on my own for the first time and it terrified me. Of course one would think your main worry in the apocalypse would be the zombies, but it was actually the people, the ones who would take advantage of there being no law at all. This world was sicker than it was before, and I honestly didn't feel like taking it on alone. Being a woman in this world sucked major balls as well, I mean I'm not saying women can't handle themselves as well as men, but people figure that we're easier to take advantage of.

I pulled my knife out, hands trembling as I kneeled over my friends' dead body. He was bitten not too long ago and had just passed. "I'm so sorry." I whispered as I lined the knife up to his head. "Ok, you can do this, Harper. This isn't your first-" "Argh!" He sprung up reaching for my arms and snapping his teeth. "Shit." _Crunch_. The knife went through is skull, smooth as butter, causing his body to once again go lifeless.

I wiped the tears from my eyes and got up and began walking, acting as if I had a plan. I had no idea what I was doing, or where I was even going. I just needed to get away from his body. I adjusted my backpack and took a deep breath, looking ahead at the leafless trees, and the air, thick with fog. Fall had just come and I could tell it was going to be a cold winter, first thing first, I would need to find shelter.

I had been walking for a few hours, my feet aching, and hadn't ran into a single person….unless you count the undead. On the way I had caught a few squirrels, which was great since I was running low on food. My dad had taught me how to hunt and track at a very young age, not to toot my own horn, but I was pretty dang good at it.

Straight ahead there was a small farm house, and thank God for that. I opened the door slowly and quietly with my hand gun raised. I searched the area and it looked like the place had been abandoned for some time. Quickly, I put together a fire and cooked up what I had hunted. Once my stomach was full, I laid down, looking up at the roof with patches here and there. I closed my eyes, wishing I was somewhere else…wishing things were the way they use to be, my eyes growing heavy with sleep.

"Well, hello. Aren't you beautiful." I sprung up, my heart racing, but was stopped by the force of two, strong arms placed on my shoulders. "Woah, no need to be in such a hurry." Another voice said in the shadows. The fire un-veiled the face to the voice, a man, rubbing his hands together, wearing a large grin. "Let me go you fucking creeps!" I growled trying to jerk away from the man restraining me. "Now, that's no way to talk to guests, now is it?" He crouched down, tucking a piece of stray hair behind my ear, causing shivers to run down my spine.

He caressed my face, I seriously thought I was going to vomit. "Now, just cooperate with us and all will be fine." My eyes darted around the room, trying to make out if there were any more figures lingering in the darkness. "Don't you worry, it's just me and my lovely friend Ray…we'll be gentle." His finger ran down my collar bone. Sure, I thought I would run into a bad bunch of people at some point, but not the same day I lost the last person from my group.

The men started chuckling, as one started to unbutton his pants. I grabbed around me, but nothing. "Just relax, this will all be over before you know it-" "The fuck it will, you sick pieces of fucking shit!" A voice roared, echoing through the small house. _Smack_. Went a bat into the first mans' skull, "P-please sir, we meant no-" _Wham_. And to the ground his lifeless body hit. "Dumb ass mother fuckers!" The man yelled, beating both of their heads to a pulp. He was very tall, but I couldn't make out the features of his face. Should I run? Honestly, I had no clue, I was in complete and udder shock. Come on, stand up Harper, you got this. "Shit, I'm sorry, darlin', heard you telling these fucking creeps off while I was walking by so I had to fucking investigate. Can't fucking stand rapists. I _do not_ tolerate that shit." And I thought I swore like a sailor. "I'm Negan, by the way." He crouched down by the fire, placing his weapon of choice down and putting his hands up to warm them.

He was an older man in his mid to late forties. He had quite the beard and that's all I had really noticed at the moment. "I'm Harper. Thank you." I said quietly and dumb founded. He licked his lips and flashed quite the dazzling smile, causing my face to redden. "A-are you alone?" I asked gulping as he looked over at me with dark brown eyes and then back to the fire. "Yup, and just recently at that. This world is fucked up. I've had plenty of fucking groups and I just can't fucking take loosing anymore people."

Plenty of groups? The apocalypse had broken out about a year ago and I had just lost my first group, I couldn't imagine going through several of them. I bit my lip as I studied his hardened face, wondering if that meant I would still be on my own. "I'm sorry. I lost the last person from my group as well." I pulled my knees into my chest, hugging them.

"You seem like you're a tough fucker though, the way you were telling those assholes off. I think you and I could be a good fucking team." He said as our eyes yet again met. What did I have to lose? This stranger had just saved my life, so, why not? "Sounds good to me." I said, a small smile on my face. "You just can't fucking die, ok?" He grinned over at me, "Can't make any promises." I said quickly. He chuckled, "We'll get along fucking great, I can already tell you that, sweet heart."

Sweet heart? I'd bring that up later, but not now. I was glad that Negan had found me, I yet again, had someone to endure this hell with.


	2. I Really Wish You'd Let Us In

***I know Negan doesn't get Lucille later on in the comics, but I just threw it in earlier. This series will also be comic/TV show based***

I laid on the cold ground, looking up at that sad ceiling again as I listened to the crackle of the fire. Negan had told me to get some sleep, which I would have loved to do, but I was on edge from the recent events. I turned to face the flames and studied him. I could tell he had been through a fair amount, the way he carried himself, he was already hardened, which was understandable in this shit hole. He leaned back, looking up and sighing. He wore an old t-shirt and a tattered flannel (he had to be cold) and had unkempt, black hair. Through all of that though, I could tell he was attractive.

"Can't sleep?" He was looking at me, smiling, his teeth as white as pearls. "No. I can keep watch if you're tired? I'm still anxious from what happened earlier." I said sitting up and facing him. "I'm ok, kid, thanks though." He ran his tongue over his teeth. From darlin' to sweet heart and now kid? That's quite the jump. "How old are you anyway, I mean you're fucking gorgeous, but you look quite…youthful." I could feel my face turning red, and being as white as I was sucked because everyone could read you like a book. He chuckled, "Shit, didn't mean to embarrass you, doll." "I'm twenty-four." I said biting my lip and looking down at my hands. "Damn, you're young, but you're definitely no fucking kid, sorry about that. Why are you alone?" He asked, his eyes studying my face, causing me to become uncomfortable. "I lost everyone, just bit by bit from those fucking corpses. It really sucks, you know? I had never been on my own, so I'm glad I ran into you." "Darlin', I know what you fucking mean. This world is a fucking dump that consumes all your loved ones. I'm sorry to say, but it doesn't get any fucking easier." He tightly gripped the handle of his bat, as if it was more than an inanimate object. It must have been important to him. "Well, lucky for me I've lost all of them…so I'm safe." I said, exhaling as he began to laugh. "No. We'll meet more people along the fucking way and that becomes your new fucking family until they're all stripped from you, as you watch each and every one of them die." He was shaking his head. I slowly nodded, realizing that this was the unfortunate truth.

I looked back up at the patchy ceiling, already tired of seeing the depressing sight. He was right, this was a cycle that would probably never be broken, unless there was a cure for this whole thing. The reality of all of this made my heart sink to my stomach.

I shivered as I vigorously rubbed my arms and pulled my old, worn out blanket up to my neck. I was desperate for any kind of warmth. Sure I was wearing a t-shirt, flannel and denim jacket lined with wool, but it just wasn't cutting it. "Come over here, darlin'." Negan motioned to me. Sweet Jesus, I knew I shouldn't have trusted this guy so easily. He broke out into a smile, "Shit, I'm not trying to make a move on you, trust me, if I was, you'd fucking know. It's plastered all over your fucking face!" He said gregariously laughing, "Was just trying to help."

Since I was freezing my ass off and he had blatantly brought up what I had thought he had implied, I decided to take him up on his offer. "Why the fuck not." I said as I got up and walked towards him. "Trust me, you're not the first, sweet heart. Gotta stay warm somehow when you're about to freeze your fucking nuts off." "Ok, ok, no need to make me feel like I'm not special." I said as I sat closely to him.

He laughed as he wrapped his large arm around me, "Well shit, I do apologize, doll. Never meant to make you feel that way." He said squeezing my shoulder. My heart was racing and it felt like butterflies were fluttering in my stomach.

Honestly, I had never been in a relationship. I know how sad that sounds coming from a twenty-four year old, but I never had a lot of confidence and had always been an introvert. I mean, of course now since the world was ending and all, I could care less what people thought about me….but not back in the day. I figured what I was feeling wasn't real, since I had never really had contact with the opposite sex. I rested my head on his shoulder, wearing a small smile on my face and before I knew it, I dozed off.

I woke up to the sound of birds chirping, even though it was fall. I slowly opened my eyes, noticing a small amount of sunlight peeking through the thick clouds. I yawned as I stretched and sat up, with no sign of Negan. My heart started to palpitate, was I alone once again? Great.

I pulled my long, brown hair out of its' usual pony tail and let it rest as I took a deep breath. "Hey, you ready to….shit." Negan said as he looked at me, as usual a big smile on his face. "What?" I asked, absolutely relieved as I stood up, running my hands through my hair. He licked his lips as he shook his head, "You don't fucking understand, doll." He lightly laughed. I shrugged my shoulders, pulling put hair up into a high ponytail.

"Did you get any sleep?" I asked as I walked by his side. "No. I didn't want to bother you…and I haven't been able to sleep well, so it's no big deal." He said with no expression on his face, looking straight ahead. "Well maybe you should try your own trick, I'll keep watch tonight and protect you kind sir." I said as I teasingly hit my shoulder into his, causing him to smile. "Whatever you say, sweet heart." I could see him watching me out of the corner of his eyes, which made me feel awkward. I hated it when people watched me. What were they looking for or what did they see that I didn't? I rubbed my arm, looking at the ground, noticing deer tracks. "Hey, I think I found our next meal." I said quietly, pointing at the hoof prints. He nodded his head as I followed the path, about twenty minutes in is when I noticed a beautiful doe.

I raised my gun, and with one shot she hit the ground, what I would call a peaceful death. I ran over, quickly eviscerating the now soulless body, knowing I was short on time until nearby corpses came out, following the noise and the smell of fresh intestines. I threw the body over my shoulders and got up, noticing Negan wasn't near me. I turned around and he looked at me, surprised. "Come on, we need to continue." He nodded, nailing a corpse in the head as he followed me closely.

"Fuck me…I didn't know you had that in you. You're a fucking beast…want me to take that?" He offered. "No, I'm fine…thanks though. My dad taught me a lot about hunting and tracking so I'm pretty fucking good at it." I said adjusting the doe. "Well shit, don't judge a book by its' fucking cover." He said running his tongue over his teeth and breaking out into his God damn dazzling smile, the one that made my heart skip a beat. "What, you thought I was some quiet, helpless girl?" "Fuck no. Maybe some kind of fucking beauty queen or something, but one that could handle her fucking self. Not some type of fucking bad ass." He walked backwards ahead of me, grinning from ear to ear. "Well now you know not to mess with me, boy!" I said, winking at him, "Shit, watch out!" I yelled, throwing our next meal to the ground.

He walked into the arms of a hungry corpse. "Mother fucker!" He growled pushing it away. More of them came, emerging from the woods. I ran up, stabbing the one that had Negan straight in the head. "That shit was _not_ cool! Thanks, sweetheart!" He said pulling on the collar of his flannel. "We need to get out of here." I said looking around, they were closing in on us, and there were too many. Who cared about the deer now. He nodded and we killed a few zombies to make a clear path, and got the hell out of there.

The sky was already growing dark. I don't think either of us knew where we were going, we were just trying to survive. Luckily, I had caught a few squirrels, and Negan got one rabbit. There was no sign of shelter, but we needed to set up some kind of camp.

We picked a secluded area in the woods and set up some empty cans on strings to alert us of any corpses. I cooked up some dinner and we ate in silence, until he broke it. "What'd you do before this?" "I was going to school to become a veterinarian, only had a few more years left too." I sighed, looking up at the star studded night, "How about you?" "I was a fucking gym teacher, believe it or not." He said as he took a chunk of meat off a rabbit's leg. I wanted to so badly burst out laughing, but didn't want to take the risk. This foul mouthed, rugged man a gym teacher? "Wow." I said trying to contain myself as a smile spread across my face. I turned away from him, "Stop fucking laughing!" He said throwing a bone at me. "I'm not, I just…" I couldn't hold it in anymore, and ruptured into laughter, surprisingly, he joined in.

I wiped tears from my eyes, "Is that bat…is it your kids' or something?" I asked, causing the atmosphere to become more serious. He sighed, as he gently held that bat of his, I could tell he was slightly upset. "Sorry. I shouldn't have asked, it's none of my business." "No, it's fine. Why do you ask?" He looked at me intensely. "Just the way you handle it-" "Her." He said, quickly cutting me off, "Her name is Lucille…that was my wife. As fucking stupid as it sounds, it's my way of honoring her." He looked down, shoulders hunched, looking defeated. I shouldn't have said anything, why did I have to be nosy? "I'm sorry, and I don't think it's stupid at all. It's nice." I said looking up at him through the flames, with a sympathetic smile on my face.

 _Crunch._ "What the fuck!" Negan said, flying up as I did the same. I pointed my gun in the direction the noise came from. "Show yourself, we already hear you and know you're not a fucking corpse since you stepped over our set up!" I yelled.

A man walked out with his hands held up, "I don't mean any harm…the names Dwight, I just wanted to see what you guys were doing out here alone." Who was this man? Was he to be trusted? Negan looked over at me, nodding as we both lowered our weapons, hoping this wouldn't be a mistake.


	3. Quit These Pretentious Things

"What do you want from us?" Negan asked, still weary of this stranger. "Just trying to expand our group, nothing else." Dwight calmly said. There were no alarms going off, telling me that this guy was bad news. "That really it? Most people want more than just that." I said raising an eyebrow. "Yes. They're less than a mile from here. About ten people." "Fine." Negan said as he motioned to me to come stand next to him.

"I'm Negan and this is Harper. I hope you're not leading us into a trap, I must warn you, we're bad ass motherfuckers and I will split your skull the fuck in half if you decide to cross us." He warned as he tightly gripped Lucille. "Understood. It's not a trap. I've got a camp, and it'll be safer than where you guys were." He said as he stepped over a branch, "I'm just trying to be nice." It seemed like he was telling the truth, only I was hoping he was. I didn't feel like dealing with a bunch of creeps.

"Here we are." Dwight said as we came into a clearing. Thank God, there was a group of men and women. "Allow me to introduce you to-" "Stop. Don't bother." Negan abruptly cut him off, "They last more than a couple of days, I'll learn their names if they do survive, but as of right now, what's the point? It's nice to meet you all, I'm Negan, this is Harper, sorry for interrupting, carry on." He said waving them off.

Man, was he cold. I'm surprised he even gave me the time of day. I smiled and waved and saw a woman rush into Dwight's arm. "You sure know how to pick the friendly ones, huh?" She quietly said. I shrugged my shoulders and noticed Negan was walking away. "Wait!" I said catching up to him. "Huh, what do you want, kid?" Ugh, great. Here we go again. "You're the only person I know, so I thought maybe we could stick together?" I said, trying to keep up with him. I must have sounded so pathetic.

He stopped, turning around, "You don't have to feel fucking obligated to stay with me. I'm fucking hardened. This whole thing has fucked me up. You have a fucking opportunity to be with people like yourself." He sounded annoyed and upset, "This world makes almost everyone that way, and I actually enjoy your company." I said, softly placing my hand on his arm. He looked at it for a second and then pulled his arm away. "You deserve better, doll. You may think you know me, but you don't." "Negan, wait, _please_." I didn't want him to leave, I felt safe around him, but he just kept walking.

Ugh, fuck him…I don't need him anyway. I felt anxious though, and that was never a good thing. "Hey, Dwight wanted me to show you where you can sleep." The woman who was embracing him earlier said. I nodded my head, following her, "I'm Sherry, by the way." She said turning around, smiling. She was pretty, "Harper." I said, a small smile on my face. They had a bed of a truck set up with some blankets, which was nice. "You and Negan can sleep here. How do you know him? He seems intense." She leaned on the vehicle. "I only met him a few days ago. He can be, but he's a good guy, seriously." She looked at me, trying to believe me, "Ok…let me know if you need anything. We share our food with each other, but you have to contribute. And no rape, abuse or violence of any kind." These people are sane, what a relief.

I jumped into the bed of the truck and decided to try and get some sleep. I had wished Negan hadn't decided to become a lone wolf. Why did people always see themselves so warped? It never made sense to me. The sound of others around comforted me and reminded me of when I was with my family. I silently cried as tears rolled down my face. Things would get better, right? I guess I would have to wait and see.

I woke up, my head throbbing from crying from the night before. I stretched, looking around, noticing everyone was still asleep, except for the person on watch. I hoped that I would be able to spot out Negan, but didn't. Did he leave to once again be alone and miserable?

I took my hair out and scratched my head, then I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. My stomach grumbled loudly. I got up in hopes of finding food, walking towards the only person up, "Hey, you're up early." He said quietly as I approached him. I shrugged my shoulders and looked up at him, smiling. Man, was he good looking. He looked like he was around the same age as me, had brown, messy hair (stylish) and light brown eyes. What really got me was his smile and of course his complimenting dimples. Just play it cool Harper, you've got this.

"You guys have any food? I'm totally out." I said barely maintaining eye contact. "Right now things are scarce, but here, you can have my granola bar…" He said digging through his pocket. "Oh no, it's ok. Thanks though! I'll go and check the area out, just thought food might help me focus." "Well here, at least have half?" He said offering it. I looked at it, wanting to take it, but at the same time wanting to reject it. "Come on, you know you want it." He said teasingly. "Thank you." I said accepting it.

"I was actually planning on looking for some supplies after my shift is over, if you're up to it?" He asked raising an eyebrow. "Sure, why not go on unknown territory with a complete stranger." I looked over at him from the corner of my eyes and he looked appalled (over playing it quite a bit). "Well excuse me, I never!" He cracked out into a large smile before he was able to finish the sentence.

"We settled at our camp a few days ago, so haven't checked out much of the area, believe it or not." Flynn said as we approached a vacant grocery store. "How long have you been with them?" I asked quietly, not wanting to bring any un-wanted attention to us. "Maybe six months?" He tapped on the doors to the building, causing a few corpses to come to the front. They slammed on the glass, moaning and what I imagined having a ravenous appetite.

"Ready?" I nodded my head as he forced the once electronically operated doors open. One of them came at me, chomping his teeth together. In one smooth motion I pushed my knife through his skull and quickly pulled it out and did the same to the next one. I looked over at Flynn and smiled, "You got a little something…." He reached out and using his thumb rubbed my cheek. "Shit! Sorry, I shouldn't have gotten up in your space, you just had some blood…." His face was beating bright red. I wouldn't imagine a man as good looking as him would ever feel this emotion. "No, it's fine." I awkwardly laughed and walked into the deserted area.

Surprisingly there were some canned items still left and even bullets, "Perfect!" I said pushing it into my bag. "Hey, you a fan of Kit Kats?" Flynn was waving one towards me. I hadn't had one of those in God knows how long. My mouth began watering as I nodded my head like an idiot. Flynn laughed as he opened it and gave me half. "Thanks…" I said nearly inhaling it, "Not going to lie, but I'm a pretty big sugar addict." I joined him on the floor leaning up against the wall next to him. "I can tell after watching you devour that." He said hitting his shoulder into mine.

"So, do you have any loved ones with you still?" Wow, way to start the conversation off easy, Harper. "No. Honestly, I was never close to my family. Mom died when I was a baby and my dad was an alcoholic. My older sister, I have no idea where she is…was. So technically I had already lost everyone long ago." He looked down at his hands as he fidgeted, with furrowed brows. "I'm sorry." I said softly, I had only experienced loss since this whole thing broke out.

I placed my hand on his knee and gave it a squeeze, he looked at me, smiling, "How about you?" "Everyone I loved, they were all killed by those fucking corpses. I should have been able to do something but…" "Hey, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault and it will never be. This whole situation is something none of us could have ever imagined, we're doing the best we can."

I could feel tears building up and tried my best to hold them back. "You can't be hard on yourself, Harper. All of this is out of your control, or anyone at that matter." He gently grabbed my face, causing me to look him in the eyes. Tears cascaded down and he wiped them away, "Thanks." I said feeling slightly better.

I had never been good at opening up with people, or sharing feelings at that. What made Flynn different? Was it that it felt like the end of the world? I have no idea, but it was definitely nice.

The sound of car doors slamming broke me out of the trance I was in, "Shit!" I said grabbing my gun and hiding behind the counter, motioning to Flynn to follow me. I peeked over the counter, seeing three rugged people. Two men and one woman, honestly they looked like tweakers. They were absolutely filthy and had scars and scabs all over them. They wore very old, dirty clothes, with believe it or not, flip flops. How the hell did I keep getting into these situations?!

"Looks abandoned to me…" Said one of the male voices. "Hopefully there's some fucking food, I am so fucking hungry." The girl complained. "Shut yer fucking trap, Ella!" Jesus, was this going to be fun. Should we shoot them? They seemed like shitty people. I looked over at Flynn, with a look of confusion on my face. He mouthed, "We have to." I felt sick to my stomach.

"Hey…a back pack…with food!" Screeched the horrific looking lady, "Looks like we won't have to eat our own kind for a while!" Did I just hear her right? That's absolutely fucking disgusting! Now I would have no regrets killing these people. "Hey, we might be 'customed to it now!" Yelled one of the pigs.

Flynn motioned his head towards the guy, which I supposed meant that he was going to take him down. I swiftly nodded and we shot almost in perfect synchronization. Head shots on both of them. "What the fuck did you two little fuckers do?!" I heard the last one roar, but couldn't see anything. "Ima fucking get the two of ya!"

We had basically cornered ourselves (smart thinking on our part). I looked over the counter and a bullet quickly grazed my ear. "Shit!" I said falling back, as my wound throbbed. "What the fuck?" "You fucking scum of the earth!" Negan! That had to be him, it sounded just like him

I ran out from hiding and saw him from behind as he adjusted his shirt and spat on what was once a human skull. "Negan!" I yelled jumping on his back. "Fuck, darlin' you scared the shit outta me! I mean I knew that you were fucking here, but still." I slid off his back as Flynn stood next to me, "You followed us? Why not just volunteer to come along?" I asked pushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "Wanted to make sure this kid wasn't some fucked up fucker." He said, giving Flynn barely a second of his attention. "Didn't think I could handle myself? And his names Flynn, he's a good guy." "Yeah, yeah, I fucking figured. Grab your shit, let's get the fuck out of here."

"Man, he has a mouth on him." Flynn said slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Yeah, he's tough, but is a good guy. Definitely a good person to have on our team." I said smiling at Flynn, "I trust your word, Harper. Don't disappointment me." He said brushing his hand against mine, causing me to blush.

Negan had already started walking, and fast at that, "Hey, wait up!" I yelled as we jogged up next to him, with Flynn falling behind (intentionally). "I thought you left, where did you go last night?" I said as I tried catching my breath. "Why the fuck would it matter to you?" He mumbled. Ah, what a great mood he was in. "Did I do something wrong?" "Well, just the fucking fact that you went on a supply run with a total fucking stranger. How fucking stupid is that? You have to use your fucking head, sweet heart."

He looked straight ahead during this whole conversation, and spoke with a clenched jaw. There was obviously more going on and I was missing it. "He's a good guy. I'm a good judge of character, it's not a big deal." I said quietly.

The camp was in site and Flynn ran ahead of us, "See you around Harper! And thanks again, Negan!" I envied him for leaving this tense and uncomfortable situation. Negan stopped as he turned to face me with rage in his eyes, making me feel uneasy. "I know that we only knew each other a little less than a fucking week, but why the fuck was it so easy for you to fucking open up to him? And he's just some fucking pretty boy, big fucking deal!" He threw his arms out in frustration.

Was this large manly man serious? He was jealous because I had opened up to Flynn? You really can't judge a book by its cover. "The moment just felt right. Why would something like that even offend you? And I should be the offended one since you were fucking eavesdropping on our conversation!" Anger began to build up inside of me, and out of nowhere. "Excuse fucking me? You and your little fucking boyfriend would have been fucking dead if it wasn't for me, doll." He said pointing his thumb at himself.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head and began walking away from him. This wasn't worth my time or energy, "Don't fucking walk away from me!" He growled. I stopped, "Tell me why this is really bothering you." "I don't need to fucking explain myself." He said like an angry child throwing a temper tantrum. "Well then, you don't deserve my fucking time." I spat as I walked towards the camp.

If he did have feelings for me he had a funny way of showing it, a way I wasn't sure that I could fully handle. I walked over to Flynn and as we talked and I looked up, locking eyes with Negan, who for one second looked sad and defeated. As soon as he had made eye contact with me though, he nearly snarled. Perhaps it was time to move on from him, and start a new life with this group.


	4. Please Let me Know if You Want me Around

I looked at my ear in a borrowed mirror, noticing that bullet had shot off a piece of cartilage. I had totally forgotten about it due to the fact of….well Negan acting like a total ass hole. I rummaged through my backpack, pulling out a small first aid kit I had found a while back. I cleaned the area with an alcohol pad and placed a Band-Aid on the wound. Luckily it wasn't bleeding much or I'd probably be fucked.

I walked over to the group of people that surrounded the camp fire, feeling slightly awkward and looking for a familiar face. Flynn smiled, patting the ground next to him and I joined him, sitting quite close. Dwight was talking about what our next plan of action would be as I looked around at the unknown faces. I was surprised to see Negan there, listening intently, but with clenched fists. He obviously wasn't agreeing with what Dwight was saying, this was going to be interesting.

Flynn hit my foot with his boot and I quickly retaliated, doing the same. "I'm actually trying to listen, thank you very much." I hissed, looking over to him smiling as he stuck his tongue out at me. I noticed there was a girl by his side, with a scowl on her face. Well shit, maybe he had a girlfriend? I adjusted myself (meaning I put a small amount of distance between us).

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm going to have to fucking disagree with you." Negan's voice boomed, immediately over powering Dwight's. "If we stay here idly, we'll seriously be fucked. Trust me, I've been with plenty of groups, and this plan never fucking worked." He said as he stood up, standing next to his already defeated opponent. "We need to find some type of huge building, clear it out and fucking secure it. Lock that fucking shit down. Staying out in the fucking open won't do us any good. We can get a small community going and maybe even grow and feel somewhat fucking safe." He looked at me, but quickly looked away as I tried mentally catching my breath.

"I agree with him, Dwight. We're just sitting ducks out here." Someone chimed in, "Yeah." Said another voice. I nodded my head, it only made sense and it was our original plan. "Fine. I guess if that's what you would all like. This is a group decision, not just mine and it seems like you're all on board. We'll leave tomorrow then." He said, sounding annoyed, but adjourning the meeting.

I got up, wiping the dirt off my bottom and began walking. "Hey wait up!" "Flynn!" A girl complained, "Just a sec, Em!" He said quickly and joined my side, "Can we talk?" He brushed his hand up against mine and softly stroked my hand as I pulled it away almost immediately. "Seriously? You have a girlfriend Flynn. You've been flirty all day….and sadly I reciprocated not knowing you had someone. I thought that you would have been a decent enough person to not pull that kind of shit." "I mean I guess she's my girlfriend, flirting is harmless though. Just stop walking, for one minute?" He grabbed my shoulder and I quickly turned around. "That's a shitty thing to do Flynn." "I-I know…" He said running his hand through his hair, "Can we still be friends?" "I guess. No bullshit though, if you try anything there's no luck of a friendship."

I walked off feeling irritated. I hated cheaters, I couldn't stand them. How hard was it to be loyal to one person? It's just something I had never tolerated, and honestly I didn't even want to be friends with him. I had just said yes because I wanted to get away from him. "Harper!" It was Negan, my heart was racing. I had subconsciously wandered towards the woods. "Hey." I said turning around, with a small smile on my face. "I'm real fucking sorry about earlier, doll. I'm just in a real dark place right now….and I really care about you." His voice was soft, "Have you ever felt you just fucking knew someone in the past fucking life or something? That's how I feel about you." I looked into his eyes, full of emotion as my heart fluttered. "It's ok. And I understand what you're saying….since I feel the same way." He stepped towards me, closing the gap and placing his lips on mine, causing me to nearly lose my breath.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and let him take complete control. As corny as this sounds, the kiss felt magical and as if fireworks were going off. He slipped his tongue into my mouth and our tongues danced, feeling perfectly natural. I had always thought that this would be uncomfortable or awkward, but not with him. His hands were on my hips, and he pulled me up next to his body and ran his cold hand under my shirt, causing me to gasp. "You ok?" He asked, pulling away as I longed for more. "Huh? Y-yeah." He chuckled, "I literally took your breath away, huh darlin'?" He bit his lip, smiling, making him even more attractive (which seemed nearly impossible).

"Sorry, that was my first kiss." I blurted out, which I instantly regretted by the way. "You're shitting me, right?" He looked genuinely surprised, but I still felt embarrassed. I shook my head as my face beat bright red (luckily it was getting dark out, so I was hoping he wouldn't notice). "Fuck! How is that even fucking possible? How the hell did you get through life without being fucking kissed? I only say that because you're fucking gorgeous, darlin', and you obviously don't even realize it." "Thanks." I said looking down at my boots. It felt like my face was going to burst into flames. "Wait, does that fucking mean…?" I nodded my head, almost feeling disappointed, which seemed wrong, but honestly it was quite mortifying to be a twenty-four year old virgin, who on top of that had never been kissed…until now.

"Nothing to be ashamed of. You're picky, which is fucking rare and are just waiting for the right fucking guy, which will hopefully be me by the way." He grinned as he placed his arm around my shoulder, calming me down and we began to walk back to camp. I felt safe with him and it was nice to feel that way. I know I couldn't rely on him because something horrible could happen at any moment, but I just needed to live in the now (which I suppose I should have figured out long ago).

We climbed into the back of the truck and I rested my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. This was the most relaxed I had felt in a while and I soon fell into a deep sleep.

The next morning we began packing everything up, which went by quickly. I climbed into the bed of the truck and looked at the deserted area as it got smaller and smaller. "You ok?" Negan asked, placing his hand on mine. I nodded my head as we drove on the once busy freeway.

"We need to find gas soon here, boss!" The guy driving the car yelled out the window to Negan, which was surprising. One suggestion and he's "boss" now? "Fuck." He mumbled under his breath, "Let's pull over and look at this gas station, there's a lot of fucking cars, we can check that Walmart out across the way as well." He stood up as the truck stopped, "What the fuck?" Dwight said getting out of their small car. "We need fucking gas, cool it man." Negan smoothly say. Dwight just laughed, shaking his head, "You have a fucking problem? Just say it now." He got close to him and they stood face to face.

"You're acting like your leading this whole thing." Dwight said, not breaking eye contact. "Well maybe you need a new fucking leader. What do you guys fucking think?" Negan asked stepping back, with stretched arms and looking around as if he was a wrestler in a large arena. Everyone looked around in silence, not wanting to get involved. The man that drove the truck cleared his throat, "C'mon guys, let's focus here, we really don't have time for this." He said looking back as a hoard was making their way towards us. "Ok guys, quickly. Half check for gas, the other check that store over there." Dwight said as he headed towards Walmart. I decided to check out the gas station and entered the building with, go figure, Flynn and his girlfriend (Emily), while Negan stayed outside with a few people.

There was some aspirin, beef jerky and old candy bars that I had collected. Emily and Flynn giggled on the other side of the store. I began to make my way back outside, but something caught my eye….condoms. I mean, I might need them at some point, right?

I went down the aisle and grabbed a few boxes, "Really?" Flynn asked, looking concerned. I threw a box at him, "You never know. You don't want to bring a child into this hellish world." I said as we walked out. "We gotta go doll face, believe it or not we found some fuckin' gas that'll tide us over a few hundred miles." He said wrapping his arm around my waist. "That's great!" I said smiling up at him.

"We found some good shit guys!" A young guy hollered, jumping into the truck. "Great fuckin' news Rich, let's get the fuck outta here!" He said slapping the side of the truck. "You find anything good?" Negan asked, squeezing my waist. "N-no, nothing too interesting. Just some candy bars and beef jerky." I said, trying to play it as cool as possible. "Shit, let me have some." He grabbed my backpack, "L-let me grab it for you!" I insisted, "What the fuck are you hiding from me?" He said with a mischievous smile, as he unzipped the back pack and looked down. There was a huge smile on his face. "Well fuck me….literally?" "Just in case, it's no big deal." I snatched the bag out of his hand, giving him some beef jerky, as my face beat bright red. "I like someone who's prepared." He placed an arm around my shoulder as he took a large bite of jerky.

We stopped for the night (at another gas station) and placed our cars with the other vacant ones and got up on the roof. This was Negan's idea, which of course caused even more tension between him and Dwight.

Everyone threw their findings in a circle, which consisted of more beef jerky and candy and a lot of canned goods such as beans, peaches, pears, chili, soup etc. "Go on, one thing for each person." Dwight said rubbing his forehead. "Sweet!" There were some spaghetti-o's which I hadn't had since I was a child. We didn't want to risk being seen, so didn't make a fire. I sat back to back with Negan as I inhaled my cold dinner. "Shit, slow down, doll!" Negan said chuckling, "Don't tell me what to do!" I said, my mouth jam packed with noodles. He just shook his head as he finished up and got adjusted into his sleeping bag, looking up at the stars.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked lying next to him. "It's just nice to be a part of a group again, but I know it won't last too long." He turned towards me and sighed, "Don't focus too much on the future, it'll only make things less enjoyable. You have to live in the now…as cliché as that sounds." He adjusted himself, resting his head on my shoulder. "That's why I need you, bunny, you see the brighter side to things." Bunny? I could live with that, I liked it better than his other endearments that he used on every other woman. I smiled and dozed off.

There was a loud shriek and I flew up, what the hell was going on? I looked around and others were still somehow asleep. I heard it again and grabbed my gun, climbing down from the building. "Don't leave me Flynn, _please_ I need help or I'll die!" I heard Emily's voice coming from the woods.

I grabbed my knife from my boot and ran in as Flynn ran the opposite direction, "I'm sorry, I-I'm just not strong enough." He wiped tears from his face, "What the fuck is going on?" I asked him. He looked at me, tears running down his face and mouthed sorry.

Emily was stuck in a tree, surrounded by corpses. It looked like she had climbed it because of a parachuter that was stuck up there, who had some weaponry on him. He was missing his lower torso and grabbing for her, chomping his teeth. Did they not understand how the undead worked yet? "Holly?! Thank God you're here!" She yelled, causing the corpses to become more aggressive. "Shh!" I lifted my finger to my mouth as more corpses came out. I took them out, while Emily bawled hysterically, which distracted the other ones until I was ready for them.

I noticed she had a knife in her hands, as she trembled, "I'm going to distract them, and you jump down and help out!" I yelled as she nodded her head vigorously. That had of course gotten the attention of the ten to fifteen corpses and they came towards me. I stabbed a few in the head, but they had begun surrounding me. "Shit! Emily, I could use your help about now!" I saw a pair of feet run by….you have got to be fucking kidding me!

I got to the ground and managed to escape, but more were already coming out. "I am so fucked." I mumbled as I ran forward, only to have more emerge. That large hoard had caught up to us, and I was right in the middle of it all. "Harper!" It was Negan! "Over here!" I yelled, "Harper!" His voice sounded far away. "Negan, we have to leave, there's too many of these things!" I could hear Dwight, "Fuck no, I will not do that!" He protested. Was this it? Perhaps it was, but I wasn't going down without a fight.


	5. Yesterday, Time was Frozen in My Head

Negan needed to listen to Dwight. There was no hope, I honestly felt fucked while the corpses surrounded me. I was getting exhausted, I was up against a large rock and could no longer hear him. This was it….what a shit way to die. I took one last shot at surviving and used the last of my energy to climb the rock. Holy shit, this was actually working.

The corpses grabbed at my legs and I kicked a few of them off. I made it to the top, collapsing, trying to catch a breath. "Graggh!" "For fucks sake!" I looked over at an emaciated corpse grabbing at me. It had once been a person, who had a job, family…a life, and what did that amount to? This. Fucking this. I stabbed it in the head and fell back, looking up at the sky, panting.

Ok, I need to get out of here…but how? I sat up, looking around, only seeing a large wave of the undead. "Shit." I said biting my lip. I looked over at the lifeless body, what if I covered myself in their smell? Fucking disgusting, but why not give it a chance.

I cut into the abdomen and rotten intestines came spilling out, almost causing me to vomit. "Harper, you've seen the insides of many animals…just not rotten ones, you've got this." I dug my hands into the warm stomach and drenched myself in its horrid smell. I even went as far as placing the intestines around my neck.

"Here goes nothing." I said as I jumped down. They didn't notice me and thank God at that. I walked at their pace as we made our way towards the gas station. What if they had already left? I can't blame them. I thought as I dragged my feet. I could hear Negan yelling and my heart began racing.

"I need to know if she's fucking dead or not. You pussies go on!" He roared, absolutely enraged. "Fuck…we have to leave. You're on your own Negan, sorry." Dwight said as he jumped into the car. I made it to the front, and Negan was getting out of the truck, yelling profanities at them.

"Wait!" I said running ahead of the hoard. "What the fuck, that one's talking!" Rich yelled. "Ho-ly shit! That's fuckin' Harper! I fucking told you, you fucking assholes! Come on!" He grabbed me, throwing me into the back of the truck and followed closely, jumping in. "Fucking go, Rich!" Negan yelled as the truck screeched, fish tailing down the road.

"What the fuck were you thinking, bunny?" He growled. "I heard Emily yelling so went out to help her." I said, throwing the intestines from around my neck onto the street. "You have got to be fucking kidding me, had me worried fucking sick! And what the fuck is all over you? You smell like fucking shit!" He scrunched his nose up in disgust. "Only way I could get away from them…had to smell like them." "Fucking genius…I'm glad you're alright, bunny." He smiled at me and he had calmed down (only slightly).

We were on the road for a good amount of the day and found an old super mall to stop at, which by the way was perfect because I really needed new clothes. I jumped out the truck and really needed to go to the bathroom. There were woods behind the store so I decided to wander off. "And where the fuck do you think you're goin', doll?" Negan said, following closely, causing me to jump. "You seriously almost made me piss my pants!" I said slapping his arm. "Well shit, I do fucking apologize, but I will not let you out of my fucking sight again." He rested Lucille on his shoulder, nonchalantly walking.

I found a well-covered area and Negan turned his back, "Do you have to stand so close?" I asked crossing my legs. "Abso-fucking-lutley, sweet heart. Do your business, all I'll be listening for are those fucking walkers." "Fuck it." I mumbled.

I pulled my pants up and buttoned them, "Shit, you really did have to go, huh?" He turned around, raising his eyebrows up and down. "Fuck you! You said you weren't going to listen!" I complained like a small child not getting their way. "Wait! Do you hear that?" I could hear what sounded like a small waterfall. "Yeah…and?" "I'm covered in guts, can we find it so I can wash off and feel somewhat human again?" He shrugged his shoulders and nodded.

It took about five minutes, and there it was. It even looked somewhat clean and there were no corpses around. I took my shirt and flannel off, leaving me in my bra. I rummaged through my bag and found a bar of soap, which I knew would come in handy at some point. "Well, God damn. As if you weren't hot enough, bunny." He said smirking. "Woah, slow down old man. You're going to have to turn around again, protector." I said as he chuckled. I took my clothes off and went under the water fall, quickly scrubbing my whole body and rinsing. It was freezing, but would totally be worth it.

"Old man my ass, fuck you, kid!" Negan said throwing is head back. I took my sad, thin blanket and dried myself off. I threw my pants on, but ditched the rest of my clothes. Luckily my jacket was still clean so I used that. "Ok, let's go! Maybe I can find a new outfit!" I said swinging my backpack over my shoulder. "Thanks for protecting me, by the way." I grabbed his free hand and laced my fingers through his. "You'll always be safe when you're with me, doll." He said, his voice deep and smooth, causing shivers to run up my spine.

We had settled in at the super mall and I had found a Rick and Morty t-shirt, another flannel and some black skinny jeans. My boots were getting worn, so I switched them out for some black, classic, high-top Vans. We also found new camping supplies. I lay on the ground in my new plush sleeping bag, listening to Dwight talk to Negan. "Do you have any idea where were going?" He asked. "We just need to find somewhere that's fucking safe, might take a fucking while. It will be worth it though, Dwight." I could hear Dwight sigh, "I sure hope so." "Stupid fucking prick." Negan said quietly, grinding his teeth. "You ok?" I asked opening the large sleeping bag, so he could join me. "He's just so fucking dense and impatient. Bunch of fucking bull shit. It will all work out." He said lying next to me. "Damn straight it will! With you leading, that is." I smiled up at him and he softly kissed me, causing my skin to tingle.

The kiss grew more intense and I ran my hand under his shirt, running it over his well-toned chest. I pulled away, looking around. We had put some space between us and the group and Dwight was the only one up, situating himself in his sleeping bag.

"What is it?" Negan asked, stroking my cheek. "I want to have sex." I whispered, "After nearly dying today, I realized that it's something I'd like to experience." "Well shit, sweetheart, you sure? I want you to be absolutely positive, and don't want you regretting it." I looked up at him, biting my lip and nodding my head. "Fuck yes!"

He buried his head into my neck and nibbled on it, while his hands explored my body. I ran my hands through his thick, black hair and quickly got on top of him. I took my shirt off, revealing my perky, large breasts. "Hot diggity damn!" He said gently caressing them, causing me to let out a small groan.

I played with his beard, and worked my way down to his shirt and began to unbutton it. I pulled it back and showered his chest with kisses and worked my way down to his pants, pulling them down. He had some tattoos, which for me was a big turn on.

Sure, I had only known him for a few weeks, but I knew I wanted to lose my virginity to him. I felt very connected to Negan, and it's something that I can't fully explain.

He kicked his pants off and was wearing black briefs, he kissed me gently as he got back on top, and massaged my breasts, lightly pinching my nipples. I groaned and he slid my pants off, "You are fucking beautiful, Harper." He whispered, wetting his lips.

It felt like electricity was coursing through my body. I had never felt this before, but it was an amazing sensation. Why had I waited so long to do this? He slid his hands under my panties, running his fingers over my clitoris. I gasped and arched my back. "Shit, you are fucking wet, God damn!"

I kicked my underwear off and he took off his briefs, revealing his erect dick. I felt nervous as I rummaged through my backpack, grabbing a condom. "You sure you ready for this? I want this to be a good experience." He said caressing my face, I nodded my head. "Ok. Let me know if you want me to stop."

He positioned himself and I could feel the tip of his dick at the entrance of my mound and winced as he thrusted deep inside of me. "Oh God!" I exclaimed, squeezing his arm. "You ok?" He grunted, looking at me concerned. "Keep going." I said wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

He thrusted in and out, and with each one it got more comfortable. "Fuck bunny, you feel so good!" He said grabbing my breasts.

I turned the tables and got on top of him as I began going up and down, "Oh my God, Negan!" I said in complete ecstasy, placing my hands on his chest. "Quiet down Harper, we're not the only ones here!" He chuckled. "Shit!" "Fuck, I'm coming, darlin'!" He said becoming rigid. "Mmmm!" I said nearly climaxing as he finished.

I laid on my back, gasping, wanting more. Negan pulled me close, passionately kissing me and running his hand up my thigh. It felt like my body was on fire, he gently slid two of his fingers inside of me. "I swear to fuckin' God, I won't stop until you're fucking shaking." He said picking up the pace. I felt like I could no longer control my body. A warmth rose in my stomach and I came almost instantly on his fingers.

"Wow. That was something else." I said cuddling up next to him. "Fuck…I haven't felt this way, well, since Lucille honestly." He wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "What was she like?" "She was fucking awesome. I always took her for granted though, being the dumb fuck I am." He sighed, "She was diagnosed with cancer. Early on I respected our relationship, but as we were together longer, things got fuckin' worse. And me being the fucking dumb ass I am, I began having a fucking affair…which she knew about the whole fucking time. I broke down while we sat in the hospital one fucking day and I told her I broke the fucking thing off. She insisted that I stay with my mistress, but I fucking refused to do. She died in the hospital…turned into a fucking walker. I couldn't even kill her myself…had to have a fucking kid do it for me." He drew in a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling.

I wasn't expecting him to open up so much, honestly, it caught me off guard. "I'm sorry. I'm sure she forgave you, Negan, and would want you to move on…not dwell on it. And when this whole thing broke out, no one had a clue what was going on, so you can't beat yourself up about it." I said quietly, stroking his chest. "I sure fucking hope so bunny….really fucking eats me up. Is it alright if we drop this? It's too fucking depressing." "Yeah…we better get some sleep. Goodnight." "Night, doll."

"Fuck, there are a lot of people, but I think we can take them on…especially since we grabbed all their fucking weapons." An unfamiliar voice said from afar. Shit, something bad was happening. "Negan, wake up!" I said throwing my clothes on. "What is it, darling?" He asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

"Well…I was wonderin' when you folks were going to fucking wake up. Aren't you beautiful, the names Joe, hun." He was an older man, with grey hair, and a grey beard that was coming in. He wore a button up shirt and a denim vest. My heart raced and I felt sick to my stomach. He looked to have five or six other grimy looking men with him.

"Fuck off!" Negan said flying up and tackling the man. "Fucking run, Harper!" Negan demanded, but I wasn't going to leave him. The rest of our group woke up, not entirely sure what was going on. "Grab the fucking girl, boys!" Joe said throwing a few punches at Negan. "Get the fuck off him!" I yelled, jumping on his back, trying to dig my fingers into his eyes.

The rest of the men from our group began coming at the others. Two of them had grabbed me and pulled me away, as I screamed bloody murder. They were too large to get away from. "Time to get the fuck out of here!" Joe yelled, slipping away from Negan, with an extremely bloody face. He was like an alley cat who was use to a good beating. "Harper!" Negan yelled, "Where the fuck are you!" He was in distress and I could hear his voice echo as these men threw me in the back of a truck and sped off.


	6. Maybe Hell is Better Than This Life Here

***Warning: Contains strong contents of rape and abuse.***

"Let me fucking go, you pricks!" I snarled as my own saliva ran down the crevice of my lips. "Woah, now calm down, hon." The leader of the group said (I had already forgotten his name). They had tied my hands and legs making it impossible to get away. "Do not call me hon, you sack of shit." He chuckled, "Now that's no way to treat a new friend…now is it?" He took the bandana that was tied around his leg and shoved it into my mouth.

"Where we going, boss?" One of the pigs asked. "Let's drive a little longer…wanna make sure her people can't follow our trail." This whole situation was fucked up. What did these men want with me? Whatever it was, I knew it would be bad. If they hadn't caught us off guard then we would have been able to kill them, they had the advantage when they stormed my group unexpectedly.

Almost an hour had passed, all in which everyone sat in silence. "You calm down, hon?" I nodded my head as he sat me up and removed the mouth gag. "What's your name?" He asked, tucking a piece of silver hair behind his ear. I could make out their features better since it was dawn, they were a rough looking group. "Harper." I said coldly. "Mmm, like I said before I'm Joe. You'll get to know the rest of these fuckers here, real soon." He said, grinning. "What do you want with me?" My heart felt like it was racing a million miles a minute, but I knew I had to play it cool.

"We just needed some lady company." He flashed a sly smile as I immediately felt sick to my stomach. This was going to be just great, I would be used to please these sick freaks? Honestly, I rather be a meal for the undead. I gulped and looked at him, I was speechless.

He chuckled, "Don't worry, we'll all be real gentle and take good care of you…right boys?" "You know it!" "Oh yeah!" They chimed in, my breathing became shallow. Just fucking great. I was in such deep thought that I hadn't realized Joe was rubbing my knee. "Back off, you fucking creep!" I growled, kicking my legs as best as I could. "You are going to be a fun one to tame, huh?" He raised his eyebrows up and down. I spat and it hit him directly in the eye, "You fucking bitch!" He bellowed grabbing a stray beer bottle and hitting me in the head. Everything went black.

"Now go gentle, Lou." Someone was on top of me, roughly thrusting in and out. "God damn, she is fuckin' hot!" He thought I was still unconscious and grabbed my face, shoving his tongue into my mouth (which almost caused me to gag by the way). I bit down hard, taking the tip of it off. "Motha fucka!" He flew off of me, blood gushing from his mouth. "Dat bitch bit my fucking tongue off!" He cried. I shot the fleshy thing at his torso, "Serves you right, you fucking rapist!" I yelled, trying to pull my pants up.

He grabbed a cigarette from one of his group members and burnt it into my arm, I shrieked out in pain. "You brought this upon yourself hon…your turn Len." Joe said as a huge, lumberjack looking man came over, pulling his pants down. "Please, don't do this. This is so fucking wrong!" I screamed. "Shut it! It'll be over before you know it!" Len said, throwing a strong punch to my jaw. I winced in pain as he mounted me. "Get the fuck off me!" I tried anything, kicking, hitting, rolling, but nothing worked. He wrapped his large arms around my neck and things slowly started fading. "Woah Len, stop!" I heard the leader yelling.

He lightened his grip and things' came into focus again (unfortunately). I turned my head away, not wanting to face the asshole who was taking something that wasn't his. Tears ran down my already swollen jaw. "Ok boys, that's enough for tonight. Give the girl a break…you can make yourself decent, hon."

My hands trembled as I pulled my pants up. As I buttoned them one of them came up, kicking me hard in my stomach. I curled up in fetal position, gasping for breath. "Woah Lou, now that is enough!" Joe demanded. "She bit my fuckin'-" "Enough about your fucking tongue. It's time to get some sleep."

I looked around at the pack of animals, fighting over spots or sleeping bags. Beating the shit out of each other for petty things. I needed to get out of here, if I couldn't I'd seriously rather be dead.

I groaned in pain as every inch of my body ached. It felt like I had been hit with a truck. I looked around the dark warehouse and heard footsteps coming towards me. "Gotta tie you up, hon, no hard feelings though." Joe said forcing me to put my hands behind my back and tightly tying them with rope. He gently stroked me face. "Why are you doing this?" I asked with a stone cold face. "Well, you being a woman and all, I don't think you'd quite understand…"

"Joe, Harley stole my fuckin' knife!" "Don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to talk." He said taking rope and tying me to a post. I watched him, with rage in my eyes as he approached the situation. "Now boys, what the fuck is going on? We're all adults here, so why the fuck do you need me to settle things?" He said as he held his hands out. Piece of garbage thinks he's some holy, blessed person. "Tell the fucking truth Dan. Did you, or did you not steal Harley's knife? Give this some serious thought. If I find out you're lying, you know the consequences."

Dan looked like a mouse that was surrounded by ravenous cats, his eyes darted back and forth, and a bead of sweat ran down his face. "I-I'm sorry…it was mine before you claimed it. I just wanted it back, it was my Grandpa's…" "I don't give a flying fuck whose it was beforehand. Give back what is rightfully Harley's." Dan held his head down in defeat and placed the weapon in Harley's large hand.

Everyone was quiet, their eyes all on Joe as he swiftly nodded, "Wait, come on. I told the truth, guys this-this isn't fair!" They circled around him, each taking a turn punching him. He fell to the ground with a battered face as tears cascaded down. My stomach churned, this was a group that was being led by a sadistic leader, who was unpredictable and didn't follow his own rules.

They began kicking him in the stomach and blood gushed from his mouth. I turned away, I had never seen something so terrible. I heard one last gasp for breath, and the men began to settle in as if nothing had happened.

I leaned up against the post and sighed, trying to steady my breathing. I felt whatever I ate last inching its way up my esophagus, and turned my head emptying the contents of my stomach. I wiped my mouth and looked up and low and behold there was that pathetic excuse of a leader looking down at me. "What?" I snarled as I spat on the ground.

He looked at me and narrowed his hollow eyes as he took a long drag on his cigarette, "You can't sleep where you piss and shit you dumb bitch!" He brought his cigarette to my neck and pushed it in while turning it. I clenched my teeth, not wanting to give him the satisfaction if I were to scream.

The next month was like this, almost every day, the same thing over and over again. I had tried escaping once, but that did not go well. They had caught me and beat the shit out of me. I had scars from scratches, knifes and cigarettes all over my arms and back. If I had seen myself in a mirror, I'd probably look unrecognizable.

I sat in the woods, shivering, rubbing my arms in hopes of getting some warmth, while the group of assholes sat around a fire. I was tied up to a tree, like a fucking dog, dehydrated and stomach loudly grumbling.

"Hey, boys! Here comes another fucking walker!" Joe yelled, as if wanting to get the attention of more of the undead. "Let's see how our girl handles this one!" He looked at me with a malevolent smile. I groaned and mumbled, "Fucker." Under my breath, making sure he couldn't hear what I said.

They pushed the corpse towards me as it chomped, hungry for the taste of my flesh. I inched my way up the tree trunk, using only my legs. I kicked the walker hard in its' decaying knee cap as it collapsed, still reaching for me. I began stomping on its' head, being sure to avoid its' teeth. One last crunch and it lay closely to me, once again lifeless.

I spat on the corpse and looked up at Joe and the others, breathing heavily, hatred in my eyes as I slid down the trunk of the tree. I had used the last of my energy. "That's my girl!" Joe said as he smiled like a proud father.

I held my head down as tears rolled down my face. Night came and the pack of animals settled in, while I froze my fucking ass off. Billy was on watch, but walked away to relieve himself. They hadn't moved that corpse and I had been eyeing it for quite some time. The walker had a compound fracture from the way that I had broken its leg, causing the femur to protrude from the rotten flesh.

I used my legs and pulled it towards me as the leg from the corpse easily disconnected from the body. I got as low as I could and used what little range I had from my hands, I somehow managed to grab the sharp point of the bone and took the leg when I heard Billy approaching.

"What the hell are you doing? That looks fucking uncomfortable!" He said shaking his head at me, laughing. I just shrugged my shoulders, sitting back up. I began to quietly work on the ropes, as I watched Billy begin to doze off.

Once he knocked out, I quickly began sawing, knowing that dawn was on the horizon. I heard a snap, and I was free. I couldn't believe that this had actually worked. I got up, my legs feeling very weak and stumbled, trying to catch my footing. All I knew is that I needed to run, and fucking fast at that.


	7. Ah, Home, Let Me Go Home

***I'm not sure if anyone is really following this story, but it'd be great to have some feed back if any of you are. Thank you!***

I ran what felt like hours. I was exhausted, but knew I had to keep going. I had to be as far away as possible from those sick fucks. I just wish I could find Negan again, I knew that I would always be safe with him. That was in the past now though. I had survived through so much, so couldn't give up now.

I slowed down and couldn't feel my legs, I rubbed my wrists that were raw from the rope and exhaled, watching my breath disappear into the afternoon sky. I heard a snap and my heart began racing, I felt as if I was in the novel The Most Dangerous Game. I wouldn't allow myself to be captured by these assholes again, my eyes darted around, searching for whom ever made that noise.

A man appeared with his hands held up, "Hey, it's ok." He said calmly. He approached me as if I were an abused dog that he was trying to gain the trust of. I backed up, nearly falling and looked for a way out, panicked. "My name is Aaron…it looks like you've been through a lot." He said placing his backpack down and opening it. "Here, I have some water and a sandwich." He tossed it towards me, which caused me to flinch.

I looked up at him, unsure of what his intentions truly were. I looked down at the food as my stomach loudly grumbled. I bent down and quickly grabbed the sandwich, not taking my eyes off him. I felt like an animal as I ravenously ate. As I finished off the water, I wiped my mouth, "Thanks." I said looking at the ground. "I'm…I'm H-Harper." I rubbed my arms uncomfortably. All I was wearing was a t-shirt and underwear, I was basically naked in front of this stranger. He could see the bruises and scars on my arms and legs and I knew my face was a wreck.

"It's nice to meet you, Harper. Here, take my jacket." He said handing it over to me. I was hesitant, but was freezing my ass off so quickly grabbed it. I put it on and it was still warm from the heat of his body. "I come from a town called Alexandria. It's a growing community with families, water and even electricity." I sniffled, wiping my nose, noticing that it was bleeding.

"Oh Harper….you can't run, hon!" I froze, carefully listening. "We need to leave!" I pleaded to Aaron. "Follow me!" He grabbed my hand pulling me as I heard the leaves crunching. "If you show yourself now the punishment won't be as bad. I promise."

I couldn't be a sex slave to those men anymore. If they caught me, I hoped that they would just beat me to death. I dodged some branches, closely following Aaron and nearly ran into him. He had stopped and began removing brush from a car. I helped him and we jumped in. I felt like I was going to pass out as we sped down the road. I was rapidly breathing, but tried my best to slow things down.

"Are you ok?" He asked, looking at me, concerned. "Y-yes." I said, shaking. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, placing my head on the headrest. "They did this to you?" I just nodded my head as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I'm sorry." He said quietly. "Tell me m-more about your town. To be honest, it sounds like a whole lot of bullshit." I said trying to lighten the mood. I wiped the tears from my face and looked at this man that I was forced to trust so quickly.

He had brown, short, curly hair and dark, blue eyes. He was clean shaven and had a kind face, so maybe he wasn't full of shit. He chuckled, "That's the reaction I normally get from people. Before all of this it was a town that was being built that solely ran on solar power…it wasn't quite finished but there's a guy there, Reg, who's a genius architecture who has slowly kept building on to it. We're slowing growing…expanding and want to add more people to our town. I know it sounds crazy, but you'll just have to wait and see."

"You guys let anyone in?" I asked, studying his face. "No. I guess you could call me a scout? I find people and follow them around for a while, see how they act towards each other and situations as well. It's a time consuming process, but it's worth it." I nodded my head. This just sounded too good to be true. A place with electricity and water? Two commodities I thought I'd never see again, with a supposed group of all sane people?

"Do you guys have a leader?" My voice cracked, as it was hoarse. I coughed, clearing my throat, while he reached for another water bottle, handing it to me. "Yes. She's the mayor of the town…" He said as I greedily chugged the water. "Her name is Deanna. She has two sons, and her husband is Reg. She's a good, strong woman. You'll meet her when we get to Alexandria." He said, smiling at me. Great, just what I was in the mood for, socializing. "This will probably come strange to you, but a lot of the residents have been there since the breakout and have been protected by it all." "No fucking way. How is that even possible?" I asked, stunned. The words just spilled out of my mouth. "I wouldn't exactly say that they're lucky, because if anything ever happens, then they'd be totally fucked." I said out loud, meaning it more to be a thought.

"Unbelievable, huh? I'm trying to integrate people that have been living through all of this…like yourself to show them how to fight the walkers. Fend for themselves." "Wow. I just can't believe it. I think what you're doing is a good idea though." I tried smiling, but it felt unnatural since I hadn't done it in months. "Well hey, maybe once you're feeling up to it you can come out with me and help?" He said as we pulled up to a towering, metal gate. "I would like that." I said, looking up in awe.

I hadn't realized it, but Aaron had gotten out of the car and was handing me some sweat-pants. "Sorry, I would have given these to you earlier, but you know, the whole being chased thing kind of threw me off." "Thanks." I said quietly, as I slipped them on.

I stepped out, looking up. There were two people on each side of the gate with sniper rifles, they greeted Aaron and opened the gate. My stomach began churning as my nerves began to take over, "Hey, everything is going to be ok. I can stay with you the whole time, if you'd like?" I nodded my head, vigorously as we entered.

"Hello, and welcome!" A lady said, I was assuming she was Deanna. I looked at her and around at the others who had stopped what they were doing to get a good look at me. "Deanna, this is Harper. Harper, Deanna." Aaron said, snapping me out of the trance. "It's nice to meet you, Harper." "Nice to meet you too." I said, looking into the smiling face. "Nothing to see here, people, just resume what you were doing." She said, waving them off.

We went into her house as I stuck closely to Aaron's side. It was so weird, it's like the apocalypse had never happened. A perfect, suburban neighborhood, and the inside of her house, which was actually like a home. It was fully furnished and had that warm, homey feeling to it. I was amazed, "You can have a seat, if you'd like." Deanna's voice broke my thought, I sat down, looking around. "What's that video camera for?" I asked, noticing that it was pointing right at me. "I like to record each new resident's story, just so I can understand and really get to know them. Is that ok?" "S-sure." I said, feeling uncomfortable.

"Aaron, you are free to go now." Deanna said. "No!" I quickly interjected. "I-I want him to stay." I said, my heart palpitating and squeezing onto the arms of the chair. "Ok." She warmly smiled at me. I thought this lady was alright, but I hated how she looked at me…like I was some kind of injured animal that she was going to save, come hell or high water. "Tell me about yourself." She pressed the record button on the video camera.

I squirmed in the chair, I fucking hated that question. It felt like I was at a fucking job interview or something. It seemed like such a simple, harmless question, but in all actuality it wasn't. I took a deep breath, and looked at Aaron, with his genuine smile, calming down a bit.

"M-my name is Harper. I'm twenty-four….before all of this I was going to school to become a veterinarian. I only had one more year left before shit hit the fan. I-I lost everyone in my family, which really fucking sucks. Literally the day after I lost the last person of my group, this man came along. We made a good team and I felt safe with him." I said biting my lip and looking at my sweats as I pulled at them. "But that only lasted a few months…a sick group of sadistic bastards attacked us while we were all asleep and took me to be….to be their fucking sex slave." I paused, looking up at them. They both looked stunned, especially Deanna. "They tied me up like an animal…t-taking turns. If I fought back they would kick me, punch me, burn their cigarettes into my skin." I took of the jacket Aaron had let me borrow, showing the bruises and scars. I could tell this was hard for Deanna to hear, but she asked for it. I was surprised how easy it was to talk about as well. I think in a way it was a "fuck you" to her, since she was the one who had asked the question.

"They did this to my face as well. They had no rules and would kill each other of the stupidest things. Like a pack of wild animals. I had finally given up, which I rarely do, but thought they would end up killing me eventually. Isn't it sick that the thing you have to worry about most in this shit-hole, are people? Fucking people? Who would have guessed….it seems like we should all be coming together like you guys are, but that's not the case in most situations, sadly."

I noticed tears on the brim of both their eyes, and Deanna sympathetically nodded. "Can you tell me more about what life was like before all of this?" Sweet Jesus, this lady was really pushing it, but I was glad that she didn't ask me to go into more detail about The Claimers.

"I grew up in Mississippi, on a farm. I was very close with my family…my mom, dad and sister. My dad…h-he had always wanted boys, but after my little sister they couldn't have any more kids. He loved us…a lot, and for being a tough cowboy, he'd always let us know. My sister would stick with my mom, helping with some chores outside, but helping with making meals and such. Me and my dad made a great team, he taught me everything I know about surviving out here. We went hunting a lot, so he taught me how to track, use a cross bow and rifle…in-in a way, I guess I was the son he never had?"

I had forgotten I was talking to people as I began crying, thinking about the good old days. Aaron handed me a tissue, "Thank you." I said smiling at him and dabbing my eyes. "Can I be done for now, please? I'm exhausted." Deanna nodded behind the camera as I heard her sniffle. "Thank you, for opening up so much. I know how hard that can be…" Yeah right. You've probably been living behind these walls the whole time, with your perfect little family. Is what I wanted to say as I looked at a family photo. "I think you'll fit in great here, and will be a great asset to us. How about we get you to the infirmary and get you cleaned up?" "That'd be great." I said wearing a fake smile.

"She puts everyone through that. She feels like it makes people vulnerable and she can see people for who they really are." Aaron said as he walked me through the immaculate neighborhood. "It's kind of fucked up, but I guess I get it. So, you guys actually have a real doctor?" I asked raising my hand to protect my eyes from the glare of the sun as I looked up at him. "She was going to medical school, but dropped out. She's the best we've got. Hey, I'm sure you could help her out sometime, though!" He said. "Sure." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Olivia!" Aaron called as he opened a door to one of the houses. "Hey!" She had her nose in a medical book and looked up. "This is Harper, she needs to be assessed, get a few things cleaned up. Harper, this is Olivia." "Hello." I said quietly. "I'll be waiting outside if you need anything." Aaron said. "O-okay." I stammered.

I hadn't realized how shredded my feet were from running in the woods. I didn't notice the pain, until she had started cleaning them. Once those were bandaged she cleaned up my face, "Did you set your nose?" She asked lightly touching it as I winced. "Yeah, it happened a few days ago. I knew if I didn't take care of it stat, then I'd have a fucked up nose." "Wow." She said admirably. She cleaned up some of the cigarette burns on my back and I took care of the rest as she told me at home care instructions, "You have to stay off your feet for ten to fourteen days and re-bandage them every two to three days. Don't get them wet! Use baggies to keep them dry for showers and such. And let me know if you have any questions or concerns at all." "Thanks Olivia, it was nice meeting you." I said getting up with my bagged feet.

I walked out and Aaron was waiting on the porch. "Everything good?" He asked, standing up. "Just peachy." I said smiling. "I thought while you healed up you could stay with me and my boyfriend, Eric?" "I don't want to impose-" Even though I honestly, did not want to be alone. "You wouldn't be, we would love to have you." He smiled at me as we walked. "Ok…thank you, for everything. You've been such a big help and not to mention saved my life." "No need to thank me, I was just doing my job." He said all hero like as he broke out into a laugh.

Aaron and Eric had welcomed me into their beautiful home, not to mention they had quite the collection of license plates. I took a hot shower and decided to lay down before dinner. I almost instantly fell asleep when my head hit the pillow. This place already felt like home.


	8. La Vie en Rose

A few weeks had passed and once again, I was sitting in that damned interview chair, facing Deanna. "What kind of job would you like here?" I smiled up at her son, Spencer, who was behind her making funny faces. She quickly turned around and he walked by like nothing had happened, I giggled. "Spencer, please leave us be." She said firmly. "Sorry mom, just trying to lighten the mood!" His voice echoed from the kitchen. "I would love to go out with Aaron and be a recruiter. If you guys really need me, I could also help Olivia every once in a while?" I pulled at the wool from the sleeve of my denim jacket. "Woah, that's too dangerous Harper, you don't want to do that!" Spencer said, nearly sliding into the living room.

"Honey, she's very well trained and I think you would be great at that, Harper. Now Spencer, would you _please_ leave." She turned around looking at him. He sighed, "Fine. You still up for the cooking class tonight, Harper?" He asked, raising his eyebrows up and down. "Oh, so that's what it is now? You're teaching me how to cook?" "What, I didn't make that clear enough before?" He wore a large smile. "Spencer, for God's sake, go be helpful outside!" Deanna was losing her patience with him.

I tucked a piece of my long, wavy brown hair behind my ear as I looked at him. I could feel my face turning red as we maintained eye contact. "Spencer!" "I'm going ma, I'm going." He said bending down and kissing her cheek. He winked at me and then exited the room.

"Sorry about that, now I was also hoping you'd be able to train people? Teach them how to use a gun, knife, hunt and tracking?" "Yeah, absolutely." I was happy to help in any way, since they had helped me out so much. "Aaron is very excited to work with you, he's told me numerous times how great you'll be. He's leaving in a few days, I think you'll be ready to go along with him." She crossed her legs, resting her hands on her knee. "Awesome, I can't wait!" I said, genuinely excited. "Perfect. Did you have any questions for me?" "Not at the moment." I pulled my hair up into a ponytail. "Ok, let me know if any comes up. Oh, and don't mind Spencer, he's quite the flirt." She said as she stood up, walking me to the door. "That's what I figured, I'm sure he was quite the ladies' man before this all broke out. He doesn't have me fooled!" I said stepping out, "You're a smart girl, Harper. Good bye." "Bye!" I said hopping down from the steps.

I was still living with Eric and Aaron and felt like we all got along really well. I just didn't want to be in the way, or be the third wheel and enable their relationship from growing. "Looks like I'll be going with you on your next mission, Aaron!" I said as I entered. I kicked my boots off and hung my jacket up. I had finally gotten some clothes I liked.

I wore blue skinny jeans, with a hole in one knee and a very baggy Led Zeppelin shirt. I didn't like wearing anything form fitting on my torso, and appreciated how the over-sized shirts went down to my thighs. I was busty and had a decent sized butt, I didn't want to bring any attention to those assets, since they had brought me such bad luck in the past. The beatings I received left a few gnarly scars on my face, which also made me less appealing.

"Hey, that's awesome, Harp!" He and Eric were reading in the living room, I sat in the large armchair. "So, I guess that means I'll finally be out of your guys' hair." I rubbed my arm, looking over at them. Imagining that they would be elated to get rid of me. "About that…." Eric said looking over to Aaron, "We were hoping you'd stay with us, only if you'd like to?" The giddy school girl inside of me was going crazy. "Are you sure? I don't want to imp-" "For the last time, you are not imposing on us." Eric said. "Well, in that case, then fuck yes I want to stay with you guys! If you ever want me to leave though, just let me know!" I jumped in between them on the small love seat, wrapping my arms around them. "Thanks for everything guys, seriously." I said giving them a good squeeze. They chuckled, "We're glad you're staying around. You spice up our lives a bit!" Aaron smiled.

I got up and sat back down in my original spot, "So, you excited for your date with Spencer tonight?" Eric asked. "It's not a date, we're just cooking with each-other. That's it!" I hugged a pillow as I felt myself blushing. "Sure, says the blushing, obviously excited girl." Aaron said, laughing. "Hey! It's not my fault I'm so pale!" I said playfully throwing my pillow at him. "He likes you, trust me. He's had a lot of girls go after him and I haven't seen him interested in one." Eric said, smiling. "We're just friends, trust me. I'm going to go take a shower, before I die of embarrassment." I said as I made my way up the stairs, shaking my head.

I had finished showering and looked in the mirror at myself. All I could see were scars, scattered all over my body. I never really felt beautiful, but after being with The Claimers I could barely look at myself in a mirror. I shuddered, walking out and put some clean underwear on, as well as a bra. I put on some camo skinny jeans, and once again an over-sized t-shirt, but this time, Johnny Cash.

I brushed my hair out and blow dried my bangs and some of my hair on top. I then threw it up into a bun that sat on-top of my head. I put a small amount of mascara on as well as some lip gloss. I put some lotion on that smelt like vanilla. I ran downstairs and put my boots on, and walked into the kitchen grabbing some of the ingredients Spencer and I would need. "You're wearing _that?"_ Eric said as he grated some cheese." "What's wrong with this?" I said grabbing some and eating it. "You look very pretty, Harp." Aaron said standing next to Eric and hitting his shoulder into his. "Thank you, good sir. I am off to be wined and dined!" "And sixty-nined?" Eric said chuckling. "Shut up, Kevin!" I said as I put my jacket on.

"See you two later!" I began walking out. "Let loose and have some fun!" Eric chimed. I could hear Aaron scold him, "Bye Harp, have fun!" I breathed in the crisp, winter air and began walking. Saying hi here and there, as I walked past a few people.

I walked by the Anderson house and could hear yelling and glass breaking. Jessie and Pete did not get along. I'm not sure why she stayed with him, maybe she felt trapped? It wasn't good for their two young boys though, but it was none of my business. He used to be the doctor here, but slowly disappeared. He enjoyed his alcohol, more than helping people.

I knocked on the door and Reg answered, putting a jacket on, "Hey, Harper! We were just about to head out. Having dinner with Eric and Aaron actually. You ready Deanna?" Seriously? They had to have set that up. They were determined to get me and Spencer together. "Have a good time." I said as I entered. "Spence, your brother is out on a run and-" "Won't be back till tomorrow, you already told me, mom." He said, his eyes lighting up upon seeing me.

Shit, it was literally only go to be me and him here. That was just great. "Bye guys, stay out as late as you'd like." He said nearly pushing them out the door. They left and I had taken my jacket off, walking into the kitchen. "Ready to taste the best pizza ever?" I said, taking my ingredients out. "P-lease!" He said throwing his head back. I laughed lightly, "Let's make this a bake off, what do ya say?" He said as he washed his hands. "Let's do it, get ready to have your ass kicked." I said rubbing my hands together. "Woah, I've never seen you so cocky, Harper. I like it!" He said as he turned on some music.

"How about we make it a little more interesting?" He had a mischievous look on his face. "What were you thinking?" I asked as I kneaded my dough. "If you win, I'll cook for you for a week…" "Ok, I like the sound of that." "And if I win…I get to kiss you." Ok, so I guess he did like me. I feel like out in the real world I would never have a shot with a guy as good looking as Spencer Monroe…but I guess that's how I felt with every guy. It was also hard because I still thought about Negan every day. I had really liked him, but let's be honest, I'd probably never see him again. And anyway, what could a harmless kiss really do?

"It's on like Donkey Kong!" I said as I began to sauce my pizza. He looked at me, baffled "Do people even say that anymore?" "Shut up!" I said throwing some flour at him, "Hey! I could disqualify you for doing that…the only way for me not to do that is…" He grabbed a handful of flour, "Don't you dare, Spencer Monroe!" I backed up as he threw it right into my face, "Your hand is bigger than mine! How is that even fair?" I pouted.

He laughed as he watched me dust off my face, "Come on, help me out!" I said walking over to him, scrunching up my nose. "Harper, you are adorable." He said taking a towel and dusting off the rest of the flour. He gently caressed my face, causing my heart to race, "You do realize, you're way behind." I said breaking the moment. "This isn't a race, I want to wait a few more minutes, for that perfect rise." I shook my head as I dressed my pizza. "I think there are only no-rise pizza recipes or ones that rise for a few hours, no few minute ones." I giggled, "Mind your own business, woman!" He said shooing me away.

This was the most fun I had had in a long time. It was nice to be so care-free and just laugh. Spencer was definitely a good friend, and kept things entertaining.

Our pizzas cooked in the oven while we cleaned up the kitchen. "I can't believe you've never had a white sauced pizza! Your mind will be blown tonight!" I said as I dusted my shirt off. "I'm a classic pizza kind of guy, ok? No need for such harsh judgement. You want something to drink?" He asked as I sat down at the dining table. "I'm ok." I said watching him. "You know, I heard you talking about how you'd kill for a cream soda last week. I went out on a run a few days ago and-" "No fucking way, you found it?" I asked springing up. "Haha, yes!" He handed me one that was in a glass bottle, which made it a hundred times better. Don't ask how, it just did.

"Oh my God, it's like there's an orgasm in my mouth!" I said, moaning. "Shoot, quiet down Harper, the neighbors might get the wrong idea!" He said, teasingly. "Let them think what they'd like!" I slouched in my chair, taking another drink, savoring the taste.

"I don't think I've ever met a girl like you, Harper." He said, warmly smiling at me. I could feel my face turning crimson red and cleared my throat, "Y-you mean awkward and goofy?" "Well, yeah, I guess that, but you're so down to earth…yet so bad ass. You're strong, caring, a good listener and have an amazing sense of humor." I slid the bottle of soda back and forth, between my hands. The timer went off, and thank God for that! I sprung up and raced over to the oven, leaving that uncomfortable conversation behind.

"Mine is done!" I said taking it out. "Mine needs a few more minutes, for that crispiness perfection." He said, standing quite closely to me. "I'm sorry for being so…weird. I do not have a lot of experience with guys…so yeah." I said as I cut the pizza. "You're not weird. I think you're out of your comfort zone a little…but seriously, you are one cool chick." "Thanks, and by the way, I think you're pretty great too!" I said sitting up on the counter. He placed his hand on mine, and rubbed it. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy. He leaned in, our faces inches apart, "I think your pizza is burning." I whispered.

"Shit!" He put an oven mitt on and grabbed his pizza. The crust was a dark brown, but not horribly burnt. "Not fair, you were distracting me!" He said throwing the mitt on the stove. "No excuses allowed, let's eat!" I said, plating up with a piece of my pizza and a piece of his. "I can't wait to have a weeks' worth of home cooked meals." I smiled as I took a bite of mine.

Mine was simple; white sauce with chicken and mushroom, but damn was it good. "So, what do you think?" I asked, trying to read his face. "Ok, this is fucking good! Why haven't I ever had white sauce? It's the white sauce that's going to screw me over!" He said as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. I chuckled, "See, I told you so!" "Wait, even though mine is overdone, you still need to try it and let me know what you think!"

His had the classic red sauce, with sausage, olives, mushrooms, onions and pepperoni. "Ok, Monroe, this is actually pretty damn good! If you hadn't left it in the oven so long, you may have won." I said with a sly smile on my face. "Damn! So you do win." "Victory, is mine!" I said pounding my chest. He broke out in laughter, "You are so dorky, I love it!" "It's one of my many charms." I said winking.

We finished most of the pizza off and sat on the couch, with full bellies. "Can I ask you a question?" Spencer asked me, playing with my hand. "Sure." "You don't have to answer, but how did you get those scars?" I looked at him surprised, "Your mom doesn't tell you new residents' stories?" He shook his head. That made me think of her more highly. I feel like most people would be yapping to anyone who would ask. "Wow, kuddos to her." I intertwined my fingers with his.

I told him the story and he listened intently, some of it hard for him to hear. "Wow. I'm so sorry, I…I don't even know what to say." He looked stunned as he sat on the edge of the couch. "I can't imagine going through anything like that, you're strong for surviving that, Harper." I watched him and could tell that he was upset. "Hey, it's in the past. I'm learning how to move on from it more and more each day." I placed my hand on his knee and smiled at him. "You're comforting me when I should be comforting you. How crazy is that? I'm just glad you made it and I'm glad I met you."

He embraced me, which honestly threw me off, but I hugged him back, and hard at that. I began silently crying. I hadn't had a hug like that in a long time and it felt good. It also felt like progress, since I had been so jumpy with any touch since being with The Claimers.

We pulled away, "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry!" He got up and came back with some tissue, "Thank you, and no need to be sorry." I said as I dabbed to tears from my face, "And thank you so much for everything tonight. I really needed it. I like being around you, Spencer." I smiled shyly, looking down at the Kleenex. "I like being around you too." He lifted my chin and caressed by cheek with his thumb. My heart was fluttering as I looked into his hazel eyes.

We could hear the door opening and I jumped back, putting space between the both of us. "Hey, you guys still having a bake off?" Reg asked coming in, "Nope, I of course won, but was actually just about to head out." I said as I stood up, smiling at him and Deanna. "She only won because I let mine cook a little too long." Spencer chuckled, rubbing his neck. "Sure." His mom said, sarcastically. "Have a good night guys!" I said as I put my boots on. "You too, you're welcome over here anytime!" Reg said grinning from ear to ear. "Thanks." I slid my jacket on, "Wait, I'll walk you out!" Spencer jogged over, opening the door for me and we stood on the porch.

It was a brisk winters' night and the cold bit at my cheeks, causing them to turn a radiant red. I moved in close to Spencer leaving a small amount of space between us, "This wouldn't be fair, since I lost and all." He said grabbing my jacket by the collar, "Shut up." I closed the space between our lips. It was a short, sweet kiss. I pulled away before it could get too intimate. I didn't think I was ready for that, "Goodnight, Spencer." "Night, see you tomorrow?" I nodded my head and walked home, with a huge smile on my face.


	9. I'm a Barbie Girl, In a Barbie World

Today was the first day that I'd be going out with Aaron. I was so excited that I barely got any sleep the night before. I pulled my hair up into a high pony tail and wore my signature over-sized, black t-shirt with a huge cartoon alien on it that said "Out of this world", with some black skinny jeans.

I rushed down stairs, noticing the smell of Eric's blueberry muffins almost instantly. "Yes!" I said grabbing one, "Careful, those just came out of the oven!" He said as he watched me juggle the precious thing between my hands. I placed it on the counter, sitting at the bar stool. "You ready?" He asked placing the last of the muffins in the oven. "Yes! I can't wait! Where's Aaron?" I cautiously bit into the muffin, if I burnt my mouth, then it'd totally be worth it. "Just grabbing a few supplies. You be careful out there, ok?" "Yes, father." There was a knock at the door. "I'll get it!" I said, shoving the last of it in my mouth, looking like a hamster that had stuffed its' cheeks full.

I opened the door, looking up, blushing, "Hello." I squeaked out, covering my mouth. It was Spencer, he chuckled, "Damn, you sure do love your food, Harper." "You want to come in?" I asked, trying to compose myself. "No, I just wanted to say bye to you before you left." He ran his hand through his hair, looking down at the ground. I stepped outside, joining him and shutting the door. I didn't want the heat from the house to escape. I rubbed my arms, since I had forgotten my jacket, he wrapped his arm around my waist, and pulled me close to him, giving me some warmth. "Thanks." I smiled up at him, "That means you get a few days off from cooking." I nestled my head into his chest, breathing in deeply. Man, did he smell good. "I like cooking for you. I'll miss you, Harp. Please be careful, and come back." He said as he turned to face me.

He placed both hands on my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck, occasionally playing with his hair. He leaned down, placing his lips upon mine, causing the butterflies in my stomach to go crazy. He kissed me gently, and pulled away. I longed for more, but had told him we needed to take things slowly.

Anything intimate had been ruined by those sick fucks, and recently I had been having very vivid nightmares of the events, which made it worse. Any touch would cause me to jump, but Spencer said he understood, even though I'm sure it was annoying. It had almost been a week since we officially started dating and we hadn't made out yet, which was probably weird to him as well, but he tried his best to be understanding and I really appreciated that.

"Hey, you all packed and ready to go?" Aaron asked, with a bag in hand as he opened the door. "Y-yeah!" "Great, we'll leave in a few minutes. Hey, Spencer!" He smiled at him. "Hey! I'll let you go." He said, pecking me on my cheek. "Thank you for seeing me off! Think of me when you make dinner tonight!" I waved at him as he laughed, shaking his head.

Aaron and I had been on the road for about an hour, "I saw a group here a while back. Just a few people, but I won't be surprised if they're gone." He parked the car, and we covered it. "Let's do this!" I said quietly, smiling enthusiastically. "Calm down, Harp. And remember what I told you!" He laughed lightly.

We walked into the woods and hiked for a while, but no luck. "A lot of this is waiting around, unfortunately." Aaron said as he set up camp and I got a fire started. "I was sure we'd find someone!" I complained. It was dusk, so daylight would soon be gone. I heard a small noise and looked ahead, seeing a rabbit. I grabbed by bow, pulling it back, "That's not necessary, Harper. We have plenty of food." "Ugh, fine." I huffed putting my weapon down, looking up at the sky.

Aaron handed me a bowl of re-heated Alfredo and I began eating. "You mentioned meeting a man after you lost the last of your family. What was he like?" He rarely asked me about my past, I think of fear of making me uncomfortable. I honestly didn't mind though. "I think if I had ever met him before all of this, I would have thought he was a huge asshole, but he was a total bad ass, and a leader. I always felt safe with him too. I think a lot of people were intimated by him, but could tell he was a natural leader. We grew close quickly and that turned into more. He was my first everything too…" I looked up at Aaron, as I placed my bowl down. "Really? Wow. He sounds intense. Defiantly someone you'd want on your side." He looked up at the marmalade sky, in thought.

"I'm beat, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Wake me up in a few hours so you can get some shut eye." I crawled into my sleeping bag. "Sounds good."

I shot up, drenched in sweat, breathing heavily, "Harper, are you ok?" Aaron sat down next to me. I noticed tears were running down my face. "S-sorry." I said shaking, wiping them away. "How long has this been going on for?" He asked, concerned. "A little more than a week." "You should have told me and Eric. We can help you, and you know you can talk to us about anything." "Thanks." I smiled weakly, "Time for you to get some rest." I said. "You sure you're ok?" He yawned. "Yes, just dandy."

A few days had passed and I had finally found some tracks that we had been following for a few miles. "I think we're close. There's tire tracks too…weird." I looked up, nearly losing my breath. Aaron and I squatted behind a bush. "Hey Joe, we have everything packed." "Great, I'm going to go take a piss, be with you guys in a minute." He walked towards us, stopping a few feet away. I tried controlling my breathing as I trembled. "Ok boys, let's get the fuck out of here and find us some pussy!" They all howled, packed up and left.

I sat frozen, "Harper!" Aaron must have said my name several times. I looked at him with open mouth and wide eyes. I had begun crying as well. "T-that was them." I sat on the ground, taking deep breaths. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." Aaron began to put his arm around me, "Please, don't touch me!" I said, holding my hands up, causing him to jump back. "Sorry." I whispered, hugging my knees, "Give me a minute." I focused on my breathing, calming down. "Ok, what's next?" I stood up, trying to act as if nothing happened. "We go back…I normally do after a few days." I could tell he was confused. I nodded my head as we headed back the same way we came.

I awoke the next morning, ready to head back to the car. We started packing, but could hear people talking and laughing as well. It didn't sound like The Claimers, "Let's go check it out!" "No, you've had enough-" "Come on, Aaron!" I begged. "Fine." He said as he put his back pack on.

It was just a woman and man. The man wore glasses and had shoulder length hair. He had a large nose and beady eyes, with a face scarred by bad acne. The woman was cute. She was petit, with large, brown, doe eyes, a face with small features and large lips. I thought the guy was probably in love with her or something, the way he looked at her…longed for her.

We followed them for about two days and they seemed decent. The guy (Peter) seemed smart and would protect the woman at any cost, while she stood back, not lifting a finger. I didn't understand how she lasted so long out here, she seemed like the type of person that was used to men waiting on her hand and foot. She was not the brightest bulb in the tanning bed, that's a sure thing. Her name was Barbie…yeah, fucking weird, right? Maybe it was a nickname? Who the hell knows.

"You ready to go talk to them?" Aaron asked as nervously nodded. We walked out, revealing ourselves, with hands up. "W-what do you guys want?" Peter asked, placing his hand on his gun while Barbie hid behind him. "Hello, I'm Aaron and this is Harper. We're from a growing community that has electricity, water, nice houses. A place with rules, safe from this…for this most part." "H-how do I know you're telling the truth?" He pushed his glasses up to the bridge of his nose. "I was in your guys' shoes about a month ago and I thought it was complete, udder bullshit too, but it is real." I said as Barbie peered around Peter, looking at me.

"Here, I have some pictures." Aaron said, tossing a zip block bag to them. Peter snatched it up, as he and Barbie looked through the pictures. "Wow, this looks wonderful." She said in awe. She sounded like Anna Farris in House Bunny. What would she have to offer us? I wondered, looking her over. "O-ok, we'll go with you." He said looking at her as they both nodded in agreement. "We have a few more hours of walking, till we get to our car." Aaron said, "You two hungry and thirsty?" "Yes!" They both said in synchronization. He handed them a sandwich and water bottles, and we began our trek back. "I'm Peter, and that's Barbie." He said through a mouthful of food. "I know, Barbie? That's like for real my real name." She said giggling. What the literal fuck. "I was on a business trip with my boss when this whole thing broke out. I'm actually from California." I rolled my eyes, looking over at Aaron. Was this girl serious? She was going to get on my fucking nerves, and quick. "What'd you do before all this?" Aaron said, giving me a look as if to say, "Give her a chance." "I was a secretary for a totally large business!" She said, a little too happy. "How about you, Peter?" I turned around, facing them as I walked backwards. "I worked for NASA as an aerospace engineer." "Now, that's awesome!" I said, hitting Aaron's arm.

"You know, my job was pretty awesome too! I got to, like, travel all around the world with my boss." Barbie of course interrupted, giggling. If something didn't kill this woman sooner or later, I figured it'd be me. "Wow, that's so admirable." I said sarcastically, turning around to walk forward. "Did you like working for NASA?" "Yeah, it-it was pretty cool." "How'd you two meet?" Aaron asked as we hiked up a hill. "We actually only met about a month or two ago? I was getting attacked by those nasty things and Peter came and totally saved me! I owe him my life." She said, dreamily. Barf.

I had definitely regretted asking Barbie to join our group. She was fucking annoying. She would talk over Peter, turn any conversation topic to her, everything had to be about her. Sure, she was cute, but how the fuck did Peter stay with her so long?

"Wow! This is totally awesome!" She looked up at the walls, "Wait till you see what's inside." Aaron said, laughing quietly at my expression. "I really need to go to the bathroom. See you around!" I said jumping out of the moving vehicle. The gates opened and I bolted in, "Harper!" Spencer said, giving me a big bear hug. "Hey! I missed you!" I placed my hand on his chest and kissed him on the lips. "How'd everything go?" He asked, his arm around my shoulder as we walked. "Alright. The people we saved, the man's a genius and the girl is a total dip shit. It was a torturous trek home." I laughed. "That sucks for all of us! My mom is going to throw some big dinner party tonight to welcome everyone. You have to come!" He looked at me with puppy dog eyes as we stopped at my place. "Ugh, you know how much I hate groups…and socializing." I stood on the porch, which made me taller than him. "Please! We can ditch it after a while, and you can tell me everything about your trip." He said rubbing his thumb in a circular motion on my hip. I sighed, "Fine." "Chyess!" He had his hand in a fist, pulling his arm towards his thigh. "Look who's the dork now, Napoleon!" I laughed and he picked me up, placing me down, "I've been hanging around you too much." He said, his breath on my lips.

He kissed me softly and gently slid his tongue into my mouth. I pushed his face closer to mine as our tongues danced, he pulled away, kissing my neck, "We better stop before we gross people out!" I said, breathily. "Who cares what they think." He said through kisses, our lips meeting again. I closed my eyes, immediately picturing that pig who shoved his tongue into my mouth the first night. I pushed Spencer away in a panic, feeling sick. "I-I better get ready, see you tonight!" I said running inside, leaving him stunned.

I had showered and just finished drying my hair. What was I supposed to wear? I had nothing fancy. I put a robe on and went downstairs, "Guys, I have nothing to wear." "Don't worry, I've been waiting for this moment!" Eric said, rushing upstairs. I looked at Aaron, confused, as he shrugged his shoulders. Eric ran down stairs, out of breath. "I went out on a run while you guys were gone, and this just screamed you." He handed me a dress as Aaron bickered at him, telling him he shouldn't have gone outside the gates.

It was a black, knee length dress, with sleeves. It had cuffs that were white, as well as a white collar. It looked like Wednesday Addams dress. "This is…perfect!" I said, hugging him. "I knew you'd like it!" "You're the best!" I sprinted upstairs, quickly putting it on. I looked at myself in the mirror, pulling on it. It hugged my figure perfectly. "Well?" Eric said through the door. "It's…it's too tight." I sighed, opening the door. "You look beautiful! You have a wonderful figure, you have to show it off sometime." He wore a very large smile. I didn't want to disappoint him since he went out of his way to find it. "You're right." I smiled at him, "I'll let you finish getting ready!"

I put some knee high, black socks on, and left my hair down. I put on some mascara and cat-eyed eye liner, then some lip gloss. I slipped my boots on and walked down stairs. "Oh my God. You look gorgeous, Harper!" Eric squealed, "Doesn't she, Aaron?" "You really do, Harp." He smiled warmly at me, looking proud in a way. "Ok, let's go!" I said, putting on my jacket.

"Hey!" Spencer said opening the door, as I hid behind Aaron and Eric. "Food and drinks are over there, help your- wow…Harper…you look stunning." Spencer said as he took my jacket. "Thank you." I said, my face burning red. I could barely look him in the eyes as he kissed my cheek. He put his arm around my waist.

He wore some dark blue, form fitting jeans, with a plaid button up and a brown, open blazer. "You look very handsome." I said as I placed my head on my shoulder. "What can I say, I clean up nicely." We sat down with his parents, his brother Aiden, Eric and Aaron and a few others.

They were all chatting, people were laughing, having fun. This all seemed so…fake. We were living in a fantasy land, pretending that the apocalypse had never happened. It was sickening. I took a deep breath, putting a fake smile on. Spencer had placed his hand on my leg, his hand inching its way up my dress. He rubbed my thigh, as if we were some happy couple. "Spencer." I said through a clenched jaw, as he talked. I pushed his hand away, "You ok?" He asked. "I'm fine." I said as I watched Barbie and Peter walk through the door.

She wore a strapless dress that was above her knees. It looked like she was ready to go clubbing. "Wow, who's that?" Aiden whispered to Spencer. "Barbie, Peter, come over here! I want you to meet my family!" Deanna motioned to them. Just fucking great. "This is Reg, Aiden and Spencer." She said, "Wow, it's so nice to meet you all!" Barbie said shaking their hands, holding onto Spencer's a little too long. "Come, join us!" Reg said.

Barbie had her eye on Spencer the whole, fucking night. She also flirted with him, but he didn't reciprocate (smart play on his part). Why the fuck did she go for him? Aiden was cute, not as good looking as Spencer, but still. I think she liked the game of going after men who were in relationships.

Spencer had excused himself to go to the bathroom and Barbie leaned over to me, "He is gorgeous! Are you guys together?" She asked, playing dumb. "Yes." I replied shortly, hoping she'd get the hint. "You are lucky, girl! I bet he's like, a total ladies' man!" "Excuse me." I got up as I nearly walked into Spencer. "Can we leave?" I felt sick to my stomach. This whole party…this whole town was just a charade. "Of course, let me grab a few things real quick!"

He disappeared, leaving me alone and awkward. I put my jacket on and slipped outside. Breathing in deeply, trying to feel human again. I looked through the window and saw Barbie following Spencer around like a lost puppy dog, playfully putting her hand on his shoulder. What a fucking bitch. I turned around. "You ready, Harp?" "Yes, let's get the fuck out of here!" I said grabbing his hand.

We went into my house and were sitting on my bed. Spencer had taken a bottle of wine and some Twinkies. "Such a fancy combo." I said putting my hair up into a bun. "What can I say, I'm a fancy man." He said nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders. "So, what'd you like, think of Barbie? Isn't she totally, like, awesome?" I said in a valley girl voice, taking a sip of wine. "You're right, she's fucking annoying!" I laughed, "I'm glad you agree." "So, how was your first trip? Tell me everything!" Spencer said, laying on his side, taking a bite out a Twinkie.

"It was good! Just a lot of waiting around. Nothing too exciting happened." I didn't want to tell him about The Claimers. I wanted so badly to put those bad memories in the past. I wanted to tell Spencer everything, tell him I'm damaged and that it was hard for me to love again…to enjoy life. I just couldn't though. I felt like he wouldn't understand, he hadn't experienced much outside of these gates. Maybe we were incompatible? I didn't want to believe it.

"Hey, what's on your mind, Harper?" He sat up, placing his hand on my chin, causing me to look directly at him. "What if we're not right for each other? You deserve better." I said quietly. "That's not true. Why would you say that? I love the way you are and am lucky to have you in my life." I wanted to scream, just let everything spill out…but couldn't, instead I just kissed him, passionately.

He leaned over me, nibbling on my neck, causing me to giggle. I ran my hand through his hair as he placed his hands on my hips. I unbuttoned his shirt, revealing his extremely toned chest. I ran my hands over it, he looked like a piece of art that the Greek had sculpted. He hiked up my skirt, pulling at my underwear, "Its ok hon, just relax and it will all be over with soon." I blinked and knew it was Spencer, but could only see and hear Joe. "You are so fucking hot! Isn't she, boys?"

"Get the fuck of me!" I screamed, pushing him off. "Harper, hey, it's me!" "Don't fucking touch me!" I spat, backing up into a corner. I was shaking uncontrollably and tears cascaded down my face. "Harper, you're ok. You're with me." Spencer said calmly. "S-spencer?" I focused on his face. "I'm sorry, I was caught up in the moment. I'm so sorry." He looked at me worriedly. "I'll leave." He said standing, he was shaken up. "No! Please stay, I promise I won't lose my shit. Just hold me?" "O-ok." He was apprehensive, but laid next to me, unsure of where to place his hands. I grabbed them, placing them around my waist, as he spooned me. "I'm sorry." I whispered. "You don't have to be sorry." He said gently, kissing my head.

Being with The Claimers had handicapped me. I had no idea what to do to get past this. I needed help. I wanted Spencer, but couldn't mentally handle it. I honestly didn't know what I was going to do. If I didn't find out fast, then I would lose Spencer.


	10. Hello, Stranger

I woke up the next morning, to an empty bed. Great. I thought as I stretched, yawning. I looked at my clock and it read 11:30 am. "Holy shit, I must have been tired." I mumbled as I rolled out of bed. There was a piece of paper on my nightstand, I grabbed it and read it;

 _ **Harper,**_

 _ **I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful…and I know you had a rough night.**_

 _ **I promised my Dad that I would help him with his next project. I hope I see you later,**_

 _ **maybe we can talk about what happened last night?**_

 _ **\- Spencer**_

Oh thank God, I thought I had scared him away. I didn't want to get very attached to him, just in case he changed his mind and didn't want to be with me. I was failing miserably at that though.

I undressed and took a long, hot shower. I put on some leggings that had skulls all over them and a t-shirt (over-sized, of course) that had Michael and Dwight on it from The Office that said "Straight out of Scranton". I grabbed a red and black flannel and tied it around my waist. I then carelessly threw my wet hair into a messy bun and brushed my teeth.

I headed down stairs and decided to have some left over chicken from the night before, with rice. "Good afternoon, sleepy head." Aaron said, leaning on the counter. "Hey. How'd the rest of the party go last night?" "Alright. Let's just say Barbie is exhausting…I saw Spencer leaving early this morning." He stated. "Nothing happened, we just cuddled. That's it." I said, taking my food out of the microwave and sitting down at the dining table, Aaron joining me. "Everything ok?" Ugh. I was not in the mood…but when was I?

I moved the rice around on my plate and sighed, "What if I can never love or be loved again? I feel like I'm so fucked up, Aaron. I don't know what to do." I had suddenly lost my appetite and pushed my plate away from me. "Hey, that's not true, Harp. No one will understand what you went through. You literally endured hell and came out a survivor. Did something happen between you two?" I couldn't look him in the eyes, if I did I was scared that I'd start crying. "I-I…." God this was awkward, it felt like I was talking to my dad, "I can't be intimate with Spencer. Anything he does triggers bad memories. I'm scared he's going to dump me." I tapped by fingers on the table. "If he cares about you enough, he'll move slowly and help you through it. Honesty is going to be very important, tell him how you feel, no matter what. Trust me, you will get through this. I'm always here for you, as well as Eric."

He placed his hand on mine. I got the courage to look up at him and gave him a small smile, "Thank you, Aaron. That really means a lot. I'm going to head over to the clinic, Olivia is going to show me a few things." I said, getting up and wrapping my plate and placing it in the fridge. "You should eat, Harper." "I will later!" I put my boots on as well as my jacket and headed out.

I breathed in the cool air, trying to forget yesterday. "Wow, you're like, so strong!" I could hear Barbie's pitchy voice and immediately felt like vomiting. I looked over and Spencer was lifting some timber with Aiden and she was obviously talking to Spencer. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head and began to speed walk. Fuck her. She could flirt with him for all I cared, "Harper!" I tried walking faster, "Hey, wait up!"

I turned around, Spencer was wearing a flannel that he had unbutton, underneath was a tight, white tank top. It showed off every muscle. He wiped his forehead with his arm, "What?" I was annoyed, which I knew didn't make sense to take my anger out on him. "Hey, are you ok?" "Yeah, don't you need to get back to your girlfriend?" I asked, through gritted teeth. "Are you serious? You're my girlfriend, Harper. No one else, you're the only one that matters." He said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath, "Sorry. I can tell she wants you…but also gets off on seeing me annoyed." I tried relaxing. "She's annoying as all hell and not my type. You're all I need." He put his hand on my cheek. "I'm sorry about last night." I whispered. "It's ok. Can you meet me in house 602 tonight?" I nodded my head, and saw Barbie coming our way. "Spencer!" She cried out. "Great." He smiled as he pulled me in, kissing me intensely. "Oh." I could hear her say and heard footsteps going away from us. "See you tonight, for a crazy night full or romance!" He yelled so Barbie could hear, winking at me. I giggled, "Sounds amazing, see you then babe!" I said as I walked away, "I'll be thinking of you all day…longing for you, mi amor!" He said loudly. I laughed, glad that we had talked.

"Hey, Olivia!" I said as I entered the clinic. "Harper, hey!" She was with Jessie Anderson, placing sutures in her face. "I'm just about finished, have a seat." She said, smiling. "What happened?" I asked, fully knowing that her shit bag of a husband did this to her. "You know me, I'm just clumsy." Jessie chuckled but quickly said "Ow." As Olivia threw the last suture in. "Ok, so sutures can come out-" "In 10-14 days, keep the area clean. I know the drill. Thanks Olivia." She said, as she blushed, as if ashamed of herself.

"She's been here a few times in the last week." Olivia said as she cleaned up. "I'm not surprised. How sad." I said quietly. "So, Deanna told me you were just about to finish vet school before all of this?" "Yeah. I'm pretty good at suturing. Got a lot of surgical experience, which might be helpful? Placing IV's, bandaging, I know my medications pretty well." "That's great! I'll show you around." She said as we walked into a small closet.

They had a good supply of drugs as well as materials. It was a very small, yet functioning practice. "Hey, I think I sprang my finger!" It sounded like Aiden. "You mind taking that on, I just need to finish inventory!" Olivia said. "Sure." I was surprised she trusted me so quickly. "What'd you do, Aiden? Trying to impress your lady?" I asked raising my eyebrows. "I mean technically…yeah, but you know what, shut up!" He said, upset.

"Have a seat!" Sure enough he had messed his finger up pretty bad. As I splinted it I got the story out of him. He had grabbed a heavy piece of wood and lifted it like a weight, got a little too cocky and threw it up in the air as it landed funny on his pinky. "Good as new. You'll have to be on light duty, and that can come off once it's healed." "Thank you, Harper." He said as he stood up. "Hey, you really like Barbie?" I asked out or curiosity. "No, honestly she's a pain in the ass. But is cute and has a decent body, I bet you anything she's easy too. See you around." He said as he left.

As sad as it sounds, that made me feel slightly better. From the few people I had talked to, the consensus was that Barbie was: Fucking annoying, which by the way meant that I was: Fucking happy.

I stayed with Olivia until about four. She basically left me on my own while she figured out what they had and what they needed. She told me a few of her horror stories, and about why she dropped out of medical school, which was totally understandable. It took a toll on you mentally. "Just let me know whenever you need help, or need a day off." I said as I left. "Will do, thanks for all your help today. You did great, and I didn't even have to train you!" "Only because it was easy things, see you!"

I went home and whipped up some chocolate chip cookies. I packed them up in some Tupperware and Aaron came in, "You going to see Spencer?" "Yes, I left you and Eric some cookies!" "Thanks, you know how much Eric enjoys them! Good luck tonight, Harp." He said as he grabbed one, taking a bite out of it. "Thanks, don't wait up!"

The houses were numbered. 602 was vacant and we had met up there on a few occasions. I went upstairs and Spencer had lit a bunch of candles. He had laid a blanket on the floor and there were two glasses of milk. He was sitting on the ground, "Hey!" He said, standing up. "I made your favorite, French toast!" "Thank you, Spencer! I know, it's such an adult meal!" I said as I hugged him. "You always smell so good!" I said pecking him on the lips and sitting down across from him. He flashed a smile as he poured syrup on my toast, "Let me know when you'd like me to stop, ma'am." I laughed lightly, "That's good!" "I do hope you enjoy your meal, let me know if anything isn't to your satisfaction." "My goodness, you do know how to impress a lady, sir." I said teasingly.

"This is delicious, Spencer! Like seriously, I have never tasted such amazing French toast! And how did you remember this was my favorite?" "I'm just that great of a boyfriend. And no, you cannot have my recipe. It's what I'll hold over your head if you ever try leaving me." He said taking a large bite, "Damn, that is good!" I laughed, "Thank you…for everything, Spence. You've been so great to me, and I'm lucky to have you in my life." I said, seriously. "I know that you've been through a lot, Harper…and most of it, maybe even all of it is stuff I will never understand. I wish I could though, to help you get through it and better comprehend. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything and I'll try my best to support you."

Since I hadn't eaten all day, I had inhaled the meal. "I really appreciate that. I don't know if I'm ready to tell you everything quite yet, but when I am, I'll let you know. Just right now…I-I feel so stupid because I can't give you what you want, which is intimacy." I scrapped the fork through the syrup, trying to make a design, but it quickly rushed back into a puddle. "That's not what is most important to me, Harper. I mean, yes, I do really want it, only because I like you so much, and you're so beautiful…but the main thing I want is for you to be happy and comfortable. We can work through this, communication is key and I feel like lately, you haven't been wanting to open up to me."

I was glad to hear this, and what he was saying was very true, "It may take some time, but I will open up to you. I don't know how long, but it will happen at some point, but I understand if you don't want to wait around. You could have any girl you want, Spencer. I-I feel broken…you deserve better." "God dammit, Harper! I want you, is that not clear?" This was the first time I had heard him raise his voice, he looked at me, frustrated, but could see I was thrown off. "Shit, I'm sorry." He moved over to me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into him. "You're not broken, get that out of you head. You're fucking awesome! And I'm the lucky one in our relationship. Stop doubting yourself, please." He said as he kissed my forehead and rested his chin on my head, "I never want you to feel that way, Harp." He whispered.

It was so great to hear that. I had been carrying so much stress and anxiety around about our relationship and I felt like I was finally able to breath. I, being the emotional wreck that I am, started crying. "Sorry, it just felt great to get that all out." I said taking a deep breath. "I wish you had told me sooner. I never want you feeling that way again, ok?" He placed both his hands on my cheeks, looking me directly in the eyes. I nodded as he wiped away a few of my tears and kissed me tenderly.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, and sat in his lap, and we passionately made out, which only shortly lasted because we could hear someone coming upstairs. "What the fuck!" I grabbed a knife that I kept hidden in my boot. "Eh!" It was Aiden…and Barbie. "We thought we saw a light in here, wanted to investigate." He froze, seeing me ready to pounce with knife in hand. "Shit, Harper, lighten up!" He said. "Hey, Spencer!" Barbie said touching his shoulder. "We're on a date, Aiden. Could you guys fuck off?" Spencer said angrily (but totally ignoring Barbie, which made me happy). I wrapped me arms around his waist and he put his arm around my shoulders. I maliciously smiled at Barbie, causing her to roll her eyes. "Shit, fine. I can tell when I'm not wanted. Come on Barbie, dear!" He said, placing a hand on her lower back. She giggled, staring a hole into Spencer. She was just using Aiden to get to him, how sick was that? At least Aiden just wanted to get laid, I guess they were both getting something out of it.

"See you around, Spence…and Holland." She smiled snidely and they disappeared. "What a fucking slime bag!" I said in disgust. "She's not worth wasting your energy on, Harp. Now, I saw you come in with my favorite cookies! Ah!" He said grabbing the container.

We sat on the window seat, and I laid between his legs, resting my head on his chest and looking up at the star studded night. He happily ate a few cookies, talking away. After, he situated his hands on my midsection. I smiled, as I slowly nodded off.

"Harper, wake up! You're having a nightmare." I shot up, in panic mode. "Calm down." He watched me as I took in my surroundings. "S-sorry. How long have we been out?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to adjust them to the dark. "A few hours. We should head back, I'll clean this up tomorrow. Let's go." He grabbed my hand and I followed him. "Good night." He said as we stood at my door. "Night." I placed a sweet and simple kiss upon his lips.

I got to my bedroom and took off almost everything, leaving me in my underwear and shirt. I crawled into bed, almost immediately falling asleep when my head hit the pillow.

I was awoken by a loud shriek from my alarm clock. It read 6:00 am, I hit the silence button. I had set it so I could go out and hunt. Yes, I was supposed to go with someone, but I liked being alone sometimes.

I threw on some baggy pants and a large sweatshirt. I tucked my hair under a hat and grabbed a backpack that I had packed the night before. I was hoping that this would make me look more like a man, just in case I was to run into anyone. I headed over to the shed that held all of our weapons. I had placed a small rock in the window the other day so I could crawl in. Once in I grabbed my gun and bow.

There was a manhole near the graveyard that led to the outside. I jumped down and in about five minutes was at my destination. I peered out, making sure there were no corpses nearby. I crawled out and started my journey.

About an hour in, I had caught six rabbits and a few squirrels, what I was really looking for was a deer. I had ran into a few corpses here and there, but nothing too crazy. I had finally found deer tracks, following them. They looked fresh, so this was promising. I hiked a few miles and had finally caught up with my prey, a small doe. I pulled my bow back and got a direct hit. I quickly eviscerated the lifeless body and slung it over my shoulders.

I looked up and there was a man in front of me, my heart began racing. God dammit, why had I decided to go out alone? I was so stupid. "Hey! I'm not going to hurt you." He said, holding his hands up. What really stood out on this guy was his handle bar moustache. His hair was thinning on top and he wore a large, overly friendly smile. "What do you want?" I said, dropping my voice an octave. "I've been out hunting, just haven't had as much luck as you. My group, we've been pretty scarce on food." My eyes darted around, were there more of them?

"Don't worry, it's only me. I'm a few hours away from where we stay. We're a growing community and it's been hard to keep up. I'm Simon, by the way." I nodded, not trusting him one bit. "Are you out here alone? You could always come back with me." "I prefer being alone. Here, take this and leave." I said handing him the rabbits that were strung on some rope. "Thank you!" He said as he quickly grabbed them. "You're a life saver, kid! You sure you don't want to come along? We could really use someone like you at The Sanctuary." What a stupid name. "No. Please, leave." "Now, come on son, what are you going to do with all of that food?" He sounded threatening.

"Harper! What the fuck are you doing out here alone!" It was Aiden, he was pointing a rifle at Simon. "Oh shit, you're a girl? Sweetie, you shouldn't be wearing that shit." "Get the fuck out of here old man!" Aiden said, firing the gun as the bullet flew inches away from his face. "Fuck, ok, ok. Thanks again, kid." He disappeared into the dense forest.

"Are you ok? Did he do anything to you?" Aiden asked as I tried catching my breath. "I-I'm fine. He just wanted food. He was t-trying to get me to join his group…The Sanctuary?" I said placing my hand on my chest. "Jesus, I'm glad you're ok. Let's get back. Need me to carry anything?" "No, I'm fine. Thanks though."

That was a close call. I was glad that Aiden had come when he did, I don't think that man had good intentions. I think he would have forced me to come with him if I didn't comply. I hated this world, how you couldn't go out alone and how your worst enemy was the fucking living. I guess that was the last time that I would ever go out alone, which sucked major balls…but I didn't want to get stuck in the same situation I was in before. I wouldn't be able to survive a hell like that again.


	11. I Can't Conceive of Any More Misery

Another month had passed. I had been training people two to three days out of the week, and they were surprisingly improving each time. Barbie, of course was not one of those people. She didn't help out with much and had an excuse for everything. I had also been helping out in the clinic every once in a while, but nothing exciting happened (thank God). Aaron and I had gone out a few times and had ran into two groups on different occasions that were really fucked up. I would say that things were going over pretty well…except for mine and Spencer's relationship.

He had gotten tired of talking in depth about things and was slowly becoming frustrated with me. He had even started interacting with Barbie.

We were on my bed, he had situated himself on top of me, and nibbled on my neck. I ran my hands down the buttons of his shirt, undoing each one and running my hands over his chest and abs. He took his shirt off, I think this may have been the farthest that we had ever gotten.

He tried pulling my sweater off, but I stopped him, "Come on Harper." He pleaded, sliding his hand underneath it. "I'm pretty scarred, can't I just leave it on?" I asked, feeling nervous, knowing that this would probably lead to another fight. "Harper, you know I really care for you. I'm not going to judge you." He calmly said. I nodded my head and apprehensively began to remove the piece of clothing that covered up all my insecurities. "Wow." He said, tracing his hands over the many scars. I looked away, ashamed.

"I'm so sorry, Harp." He gave me a sympathetic look and rubbed my arm, but quickly moved into unhooking my bra, taking it off, revealing my breasts. "You're gorgeous." He said in awe, causing me to blush. I covered my face, "Hey, I'm serious." He said pulling them away and kissing my lips, trailing down to my neck and collar bone, then teasing my nipple with his mouth. I moaned, playing with his hair. He unbuttoned his pants, quickly removing them and grinded his pelvis into mine, groaning into my mouth as we kissed.

I slid my hands beneath his briefs and grabbed his erect dick. It was smaller than Negan's, but I think was of decent size. "Shit." He said pulling away, as I stroked his cock. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for this, Harp." He whispered into my ear. He roughly tugged at my pants, throwing me off, causing me to gasp.

I felt like I was only doing this for him and to keep him around. My heart and mind wasn't in this. Him pulling at my pants like that triggered bad memories. Focus on breathing, Harper, you've got this. I tried coaching myself as he removed my pants. I began panicking, it was too late, "Please stop, Spencer, just stop!" I said kicking him off of me and pulling a pillow up to my bare chest.

"What the fuck, Harper! I've been so patient, I don't know how much fucking longer I can wait!" He yelled, throwing his hands up. "I-I'm sorry. Wait, please, just stay!" I begged (pathetic, I know). I watched him put his pants on and gather his things. "I'll talk to you later. I can't deal with this right now." And like that, he left.

I began sobbing. What was wrong with me? Why couldn't I have sex? I think that this was the end of our relationship. It was slowly growing toxic, but for some reason, I couldn't let go of Spencer. I was on edge all the time when I was with him and honestly, wasn't very happy. I could tell he wasn't happy either. Why did we stay together then? It made no sense. I missed the man that I had first met, always joking, willing to listen, making me feel special with sweet surprises.

I crawled up in fetal position and cried myself to sleep. "Hey, Harp. Just letting you know you have about thirty minutes until your class." Aaron said, gently placing his hand on my shoulder. "Ok. I'll be down in a little. Thanks." I said, my voice hoarse.

I got up and carelessly got dressed. I went into the bathroom and looked at my red, puffy eyes. I splashed some cold water on my face, which seemed to help and put my un-brushed hair into a ponytail. I walked downstairs, "Hey, I fixed you a plate of enchiladas…you ok?" Eric asked, coming over to me. "Yeah, just tired. I'm not hungry. I better get going. Thanks though." I said as I put my shoes on the wrong feet, quickly changing them. "Something is wrong, Harper. You're wearing the same outfit you had on yesterday when you were butchering chicken." I looked down, and sure enough my pants and shirt had some blood on them, as well as feathers. I shrugged my shoulders and left.

I walked out and the cold air woke me up quite a bit. "Hey, Spencer! Everything alright? Did you and Holl-I mean Harper fight again?" It was Barbie, fucking Barbie. I clenched my fists, trying to ignore her fucking, pitchy voice. I couldn't believe that Spencer had confided to her about us.

I went over to the weapons shed and borrowed twelve knives. We had been working on knife skills and were going out today. I walked over to the gate, greeting everyone. Aiden had been helping me, which was nice. "Hey you ok?" He asked, concerned. "Just fucking dandy. Ok, we're going out today, guys. Aiden and I think that you are all ready. If you don't feel comfortable though, then you are more than welcome to stay behind." I said as I handed knives to everyone. "Awesome, it's great that you all have confidence. Let's do this!"

I had a few corpses tied up to a tree, as inhumane as that sounds. "Ok, just as we have practiced…who wants to go first?" "I will." A woman named Michelle said. "Perfect. If it really looks like you're struggling, either Aiden or I will jump into help, ok?" She nodded, bracing herself. I cut the rope that confined the corpse. It came at her, arms stretched, chomping away. She swiftly took it out, "Right on! Good job, Michelle!" I said.

The rest of training went on like this. Out of the twelve people, only two had needed help. I was very proud of everyone. We had practiced different handling skills after killing the corpses, which went on for a few more hours. Night was coming so we wrapped it up, "Good job, everyone! We'll see you in a few days. I think it's time to finally move on to guns, and then tracking! Have a good night!" I said, dismissing them. They all dispersed, except Aiden.

"Hey. What's going on?" He asked me as I tried getting away from him. "Harper! I worry about you and Spencer. You guys were such a great couple. I hope you work everything out…let me know if I can help with anything." He said placing both his hands on my shoulders and looking me in the eyes. "Thanks. I need to get home. See you around." I said, coldly, leaving him.

I got to my porch, feeling emotionally drained. I noticed a folded note taped to the banister, I grabbed it, reading it;

 _ **Harp,**_

 _ **I'm sorry about today, let me make it up to you….**_

 _ **Meet me in our usual spot**_

 _ **Xoxo**_

I sighed, this was a vicious cycle. I was exhausted, but smoothing things over would make me feel better. I walked over to house 602 and could see shadows casted my candle light. I entered and quietly walked upstairs. I got to the door and placed my ear to it. I could hear moaning…what the fuck?

My heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach as I turned the door handle, I knew that whatever I was going to see would break my heart. "Oh, Spencer!" Barbie moaned. Spencer was on top of her, thrusting in and out, "I said no talking." He demanded. I was stunned and held my hand up to my mouth…out of all people it had to be that fucking bitch.

I stepped back, causing the floor board to creek, "Wait, did you hear that?" Spencer asked looking my way. "Don't stop, big boy." Spencer's eyes met mine, which had tears at the brim that started cascading down my cheeks. "Fuck, Harper, I can explain!" He wrapped a sheet around his waist, I looked over at Barbie who was smirking.

I sprinted down stairs, "Harper, wait! Please!" I ran to the sewer drain and ducked into it, quickly popping out to the other side, running into the night. How could he have done this to me? Sure, I knew our relationship was quickly falling apart, but why couldn't he have just broken up with me if he was so fucking unhappy? I hated his guts! I knew I shouldn't have been so vulnerable. I was so fucking dumb.

Tears were pouring down my face and I couldn't see where I was going. I ran straight into a corpse, knocking it down as it struggled to get up. I smashed its skull in with my boot and ripped into its' stomach, covering myself in its viscera. I angrily snapped its arm, and grabbed the jagged, weapon like humerus. I ran for what felt like miles, being ignored by each corpse.

I had finally ran out of energy and bent over to catch my breath, I heard talking. I quietly walked towards it and came upon a large group that had settled into an abandoned barn. They were sitting around a fire, talking and laughing. Some were men and some were woman, there was also a young boy and baby there. "What do you think our next move'll be, Rick?" A man with a rough voice asked. "We'll figure something out, and hopefully soon."

Some of the men were pretty rough looking, as far as I could tell from the light of the fire. It looked like there were at least ten of them, they looked like they had been through a lot, and knew how to take care of themselves. These are the kind of people we needed, not fucking Barbie.

I headed back to Alexandria, and by the time I got there, the sun was rising. I walked into the house and Eric and Aaron were on the couch, fast asleep. As I shut the door, they both shot up. "Harper, where the hell have you been? Holy shit, what happened to you?" Aaron asked, as he still embraced me. "You smell like death." "I had to get out. I'm sorry." I said quietly, looking at my boots. "I'm going to go shower." I said kicking my shoes off and walking up stairs.

I peeled my clothes off (yes, literally) and showered. The water going down the drain was red and brown. I got out, putting some sweatpants on and an old school Seahawks jersey. I walked down stairs, "Aaron, when I was out there I found a large group, probably five miles from here. They have a baby and child with them, I think they would be a great asset to us." I said starting a pot of coffee. "That's great, but where have you been? You had us worried sick!" Aaron said.

"I caught Spencer fucking Barbie and needed to get away." I said, rather calmly. "Oh God, I'm so sorry." Eric said as I poured a cup for each of us. "It's ok. Our relationship was at its' end anyways." I said, sipping on the warm beverage. "That little shit! He came by looking for you, so panicked. We were so worried. We're glad you're ok." Eric said, putting his arm around my shoulder. "Sorry." I said quietly.

I felt so…emotionless. I didn't have any more tears to cry and I didn't feel like talking about Spencer. I wanted to put that all in the past, pretend that it had never happened, erase him from my memory completely.

"We need to get to that group before they leave, Aaron." "We all need some sleep first, then we'll go out, ok?" I nodded, drinking the rest of my coffee and slowly making my way upstairs, while Eric and Aaron watched me like concerned parents.

I woke up a few hours later to knocking at the door. I could hear _his_ voice (he who shall not be named, I decided). "Please, let me speak to her." He pleaded. "Leave Spencer, she doesn't want to talk to you." And at that I heard the door shut.

I put on some black jeans that had multiple holes in them and a huge Beatles t-shirt. I grabbed an old army jacket I had found and threw that on, rolling up the sleeves. I went into the bathroom and quickly brushed out my hair, putting it into a high, slicked back ponytail. I met Aaron downstairs who had my weapons ready, and quickly put on my boots and jean jacket. "Let's do this." I said, grabbing my bow and gun.

We stepped out, "I forgot to grab the backpack, just a sec Harp!" Aaron said, running inside. I walked down the steps and meandered. "Harper, I need to talk to you!" Spencer said, running towards me. I looked at him and immediately pictured him on top of Barbie, making me sick to my stomach. "Come on Aaron, we need to leave!" I said, slightly frantic. "Harper, please! I'm so sorry. I made a huge mistake." "Fuck off Spencer, you should have done the right thing and broke up with me before fucking that whore." I said, anger burning in my eyes. "Come on, this isn't all my f-" "Don't you dare finish that sentence, you sack of shit!" I growled.

"Come on, let's go Harp." Aaron said, protectively putting his arm around me. "You know what, fuck you!" Spencer screamed. It felt like a piece of my heart had died. I can't believe he blamed me for that. What had happened to him?

We drove for about thirty minutes and parked, quickly covering the car. I led the way, and there they were. "This looks promising." Aaron whispered, in awe. "We'll give it a day or two and if they seem solid, then we'll talk to them." I nodded. I had a really good feeling about this group.

I could see them all in daylight. The man, Rick, who I was assuming was the leader had a huge beard, he looked so rugged. Daryl seemed strong as well, he was quiet and kept to himself. There was also Glenn, Maggie, Carol, Carl, Sasha and more…they seemed like a well-oiled machine. I could tell Aaron was excited about coming upon them.

It was almost night and they had been discussing their next move, "We'll leave tomorrow." Rick stated. I looked at Aaron worriedly, "We'll have to approach them tomorrow, first thing the morning." He said as we walked back to our camp. "They seem like good people, don't you think?" I said as I leaned up against the tree. "They do, they're a very tight group, so it might be difficult to convince them, but I think that it can be done."

I felt like these would be people I could relate to, that had possibly been through the same things as me. I think Aaron was right though, they were a very tight group, so probably wouldn't welcome just anyone. We would definitely have to be cautious, but I think it would all pay off.

I woke Aaron up, it was quite early and we packed up our camp. "Let's watch them a few more hours, unless they decide to leave." He said, "Sounds good." It was around noon and Sasha and Maggie sat on a log, playing with a music box. "You ready?" Aaron asked, "Yes." We walked up and they looked up at us startled.

"Hello." Aaron said as we walked out, right away they pointed their guns at us, "Good afternoon, my name is Aaron, this is Harper. I know…stranger danger, but umm…I'm your friend, as well as Harper." He paused as they watched us, hands on the trigger, "I'd like to talk to whoever is in charge….Rick, right?" They looked at him, confused. "How do you know?" Maggie asked, "Why?" Sasha chimed in. "I have good news." He continued as they looked at him like he was crazy. The music box then went off, distracting the both of them.

They led us into the barn, introducing us to the group. Daryl quickly ran towards us and out the door, looking for anyone else. "We met them outside, there's no one else with them." Maggie said. She and Sasha had taken our weapons before hand, but Daryl quickly searched Aaron, and had Carol search me for precaution. Man, were they a tough looking group close up.

Aaron had explained to Sasha and Maggie earlier, but had to give the speech again. I felt it was best that I say nothing, since it looked like they wanted to murder us. He tried reasoning with Rick, having him look at the photos of Alexandria. Asking them to join us, and how they'll be safe with our community. Trying to sell them on it. They were looking at each other, shocked. "Together, we're strong…but you can make us even stronger. The next picture, you'll see inside the gates…" Rick looked at him, not believing a word he was saying. Fuck, I was totally wrong about this group. I was going to get Aaron and I killed.

Rick charged at Aaron, knocking him out, "Hey!" I yelled as a few of them searched him. "Get the fuck off him!" I screamed, Daryl grabbed me by my jacket and I quickly slipped out of both of them. "Shit!" He said as he quickly dropped them, I ran into Carl, not wanting to knock him down, since he was a kid and all, giving Daryl a chance to grab me.

"Get the fuck off me! He's telling the truth, please!" I said as I was shoved to the grown and tied up with Eric to a post. Great, just fucking great.


	12. Never Going Back Again

Daryl had finished securing the rope to the post and was looking intently at the scars scattered all over my arms. "What the fuck are you looking at?" I snarled. He looked at me from the corner of his cold, grey eyes and got up, standing next to Rick. He had whispered something to him, causing Rick to come over to me, "Where are those scar from?" Jesus, what a nosy mother fucker. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, but had to remember I was a recruiter and I had already lost my cool. "Aaron saved me from a group of men that did this to me. Alexandria is a real place, I didn't believe him either at first. It's a great area to raise kids and is safe." I said calmly.

"Hm." Rick said standing up, stroking his beard. They were discussing what to do with us, and I would catch Daryl watching me closely every now and then, which made me squirm. I hated people staring at me….observing me. "Aaron, are you ok?" "Mmm? Harper, are you ok?" He groggily asked. "Yes, are you?" I whispered. "Just fine."

Michonne was trying to talk some sense into Rick, thank God at that. It was probably creepy that I knew all of these people's names within a day and a half, but I had always been really good with names. "We need eyes in every direction, they're coming for us…" Rick said, looking slightly panicked. They must have had some bad run ins, so I couldn't blame them.

They went through Aarons things, finding a flare gun and some food. "You're being cautious…I understand." Aaron said. He was so calm and kept his composure the whole time, which was very impressive. Rick just seemed paranoid, asking over and over again how many people we had and where they were, and how Aaron was going to use a flare gun to signal them.

Aaron tried talking him down, tried explaining things more clearly. "Survivors are the most important resources in the world….in this world, and finding a group like yours, that's rare." "How long you been following us for?" Daryl asked. "Harper, she found you guys last night…said she had a good feeling about all of you, how you would be a good asset since we don't have many people like you." Aaron said, trying to reason.

"What do you mean, like us?" Rick asked, crouching down so he could be face to face with Aaron. "A lot of our people have been living behind the walls since this all broke out, so don't know how to protect themselves. There's only a few…one being Harper. Someone who has a lot of useful skills she can teach to help keep our community safe. What would it take to convince you that this is for real? We can take you guys there now." Aaron said, trying to gain these people's trust.

"Tell me where your town is exactly located?" Rick demanded. Aaron told him, I'm not entirely sure why, but I guess he still believed in them. I looked up at Daryl, looking him straight in the eyes, it looked like he hadn't expected that so immediately looked down at the ground, kicking up some dirt. What was his deal? I huffed, rolling my eyes. "We'll take Route 16." Rick said, "No, we haven't cleared that area yet, it's not safe!" Aaron argued. "This is the way you'll take us. We'll leave tonight." "Why tonight? Why not now?" Michonne asked worriedly. Rick walked away with her, trying to reason.

"It'd be nice to have a break from all of this." Glenn said to Maggie, "We can focus on what's important." He smiled up at her, admiringly, placing his hand on her stomach…she was pregnant! My God, what was their plan before we showed up? You could tell they were really in love though, Maggie looked up at me and smiled warmly, I smiled back. "I'm sorry about all of this, Aaron." I whispered. "It's not your fault, Harp. I still think this is a good-" "Hey, quit your yappin'!" Daryl barked. I glared at him and he shook his head as he continued pacing.

Rick walked over to Aaron, "We leave tonight. We'll take you guys' car as well as one of ours and you'll tell me where to go, but we are going the alternative route." Aaron sighed, "Please, we are no threat, you need to believe me-" "This conversation is over with." He said, walking away. Rick the fucking prick, that's what his name should have been. I had noticed that Carl had moved closer to me, sitting on a wooden box.

"Is it true?" He quietly said to me, eyeing his dad. "Yes, it really is." I said, lightly laughing. "That'd be great for everyone." He said smiling, looking into the distance as if imaging Alexandria. "I'm Carl by the way…sorry about my dad, he can be-" "Carl, get away from her, they can't be trusted yet." He ordered. Carl mouthed sorry and wandered off. Ok, so if that guy raised a kid that nice in this shit hole, than maybe he was alright.

Night came and Rick loaded me and Aaron in _our_ car. Michonne drove, with Rick in the passenger seat and Glenn in the back with us. This was going to interesting. I looked over at Aaron, concerned. He looked so reposed, damn was he good!

We began to drive into the unknown as Rick went through the car. He opened the glove compartment, going through license plates and looked over at Aaron in disgust. "I collect those for my boyfriend, he's trying to get each state." Rick shook his head as I glared at him, but almost immediately noticed the road that was covered in corpses. "Shit, we're not going to make it through this!" Michone said as guts splattered onto windshield, making it impossible to see anything.

The car stalled. You know when you go to the beach and get stuck because the sand is too soft? Well this was happening but it was because corpses were getting stuck in the tires. "We need to get out!" Fuck, we had our hands tied behind our backs and were weaponless. The three of them got out and started taking the biters out, they were pretty bad ass. I opened the door, with Aaron following closely. We stood back to back, "We can't lose them!" Ricked yelled through the chatter coming from the walkers. "We need to get out of here, Aaron!" I said, kicking a corpse down, not watching my footing and falling into a ditch. "Harper!" Aaron ran after me, I somehow managed to get up and we went running into the woods, while Rick yelled after us.

They had left us helpless and fucked. I leaned up against a tree, trying to catch my breath, "This is it, at least we're going out for trying to do good." I said light heartedly. I heard gun shots as we both tried our best to fight the corpses off, but they began dropping like flies. It was Glenn, he came to the rescue. "Let's get out of here!" He said, untying me and Aaron and handing us small handguns. Thank God someone had common sense.

We fought through the hoard and caught up to Rick and Michonne, "What the hell Glenn!" Rick said hacking away with his axe.

We managed to get out of that shit storm and Rick's group had planned to meet at a warehouse if the plan fell through. The other half of the group was there and they all rejoiced, happy to see no one got hurt, hugging each other. "I can't believe we made it through that!" I said to Aaron, "Seriously, we were lucky." He said as we entered the building.

"You seem like decent people. Thanks for helping us get through that mess. We'll leave for Alexandria, tomorrow." Rick said. It was hard for this guy to apologize. "That's great news." Aaron smiled. "I still don't trust you two. We'll sleep over here and you and her sleep on the opposite side. If you try anything, I will kill you." Rick said as he took the guns away from us. "Understood." Aaron nodded.

We went to our "corner" and laid on the hard, concrete floor. "Jesus that was something else, Harper. I honestly didn't think we would make it out of that one." Aaron sighed in relief. "Shit, you sure didn't show that." I turned to face him as he looked at the ceiling. "Not to sound crazy, but I think it was worth it. This group is something else." "They really are." I said, yawning. A few minutes had past I could hear Aaron snoring.

I was exhausted, but couldn't fall asleep…given what had just happen and the circumstances. I looked over at Ricks' group as most of them had settled in. Daryl was up though, go figure, probably keeping watch since me and Aaron were so dangerous. It looked like he was trying to bandage his hand, and having a hard time. I sighed and got up, "Hey…do you want help?" I said softly. He looked up and me, startled. I got on my knees and grabbed his hand, as he looked at me surprised. "I'm pretty good at this." I said as I wrapped it, looking up at him.

His appearance was hardened, I guess like most people in this world now, but I could tell he was a good person. I finished and got up, "There ya go, probably one of the best you'll ever get." I awkwardly chuckled, I hated silence. I started to head over to my corner and heard a muffled thanks.

I woke up the next morning, my body feeling stiff from the hard floor and got up stretching. Surprisingly, everyone was still asleep. I snuck out to get some fresh air. I leaned against the cold brick wall and took a deep breath, reliving the events of yesterday. "Hey." I jumped, "I'm Maggie, I figured we should get aquatinted since we'll be living in the same town." She said holding her hand out, I grabbed it, shaking it, "I'm Harper." I smiled at her, "It's nice to meet you. Sorry about yesterday. Rick can be a little intense at times…but he's just protecting us. We've been through a lot with each other, so are like family." Her voice was soft, with a heavy southern accent.

"It was a little over the top, but totally understandable. It's hard trusting people…especially now, so I'm not judging." I said, rubbing my arm. It was chilly out, but it felt nice. "So, this place…what's it like?" "It's weird…like stepping back in time. Especially in the beginning, I felt like I should have been on edge, or worrying about something, but there you really don't have to. Everyone pitches in and gets along…for the most part." I added, thinking about the Andersons, "It's really something else." I said biting my lower lip. "That's great to hear, I can't wait! And honestly, I can't even imagine it!" She said excitedly.

"We should head out." Rick said as he exited the building, looking at Maggie and me, surprised. "Maggie, don't put yourself in danger." He said glaring at me. "She' fine, Rick." Maggie looked over at me, with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm going to ask you the same questions I just asked your friend." He said, placing himself in front of me. "How many walkers have you killed?" I looked at him, dumb founded, was he serious? "Let me grab my notebook, I've been keeping track…" I said reaching into my back pocket as Aaron came out. "Oh shoot, I must have forgotten it at home." I snapped my fingers, "Shit, I honestly don't know." "Harper." Aaron said giving me a look. I rolled my eyes, "Maybe in the thousands?" I shrugged my shoulders. "How many people have you killed?" "None." I answered almost immediately.

He stared at me, as if trying to figure me out. "Is that it?" "Yup, let's go." They had a large RV and we all piled in. I sat next to Aaron, my heart racing, I wasn't sure why though. I just felt really nervous, I would get pretty bad anxiety every once in a while. "You ok?" Aaron asked, "Yeah, just ready to go home." "Me too Harp, me too." I looked up at Daryl and I swear, he smiled at me, it was a small one but it was a smile. I smiled back and took a deep breath.

We arrived at Alexandria, Rick's group fully armed, looking quite intimidating. They had given us our weapons back and we entered, of course being greeted by Deanna, who wanted to interview each and every one of them. I just wanted a shower and a long nap in my soft, comfortable bed. "Harper." Spencer stood in front of me. "What the fuck do you want? We have nothing to talk about!" I snarled, trying to get by. He placed his hands on my shoulders, not allowing me to move.

"Please. I'm sorry…I don't know what else I can say." "Our relationship was over a while ago. We need to move on." I could feel my face turning red, which meant tears were soon to follow. "Come on, that's not true." He lied, and he knew it too. "Let me by." I demanded, looking at the ground. "No, we have to work this out." "Spencer, please." "God dammit, Lennon!" I winced, "You heard the girl, let her by." Daryl stood closely to me, as if to protect me. "Who the hell are you?" Spencer said, hatred in his voice. "Just back off, ok man?" Daryl stood between me and him, "Or what?" Spencer asked, puffing his chest. "Spencer, what are you doing?" Barbie said, approaching him. "You know what? Just forget it." He said, storming off. "Wait a minute, babe!" She said, looking at me, repulsed and running after Spencer.

"Thanks." I said, weakly smiling up at Daryl. He looked at me from the corner of his eyes, grunted and walked off to join his group. What was his deal? He was something else and seemed like a complicated man. It was something I'd have to mull over another day, I was too tired right now.

I woke up, it looked like my nap had gone until the next day. I got up, scratching my scalp and yawning. I grabbed a pair of light blue skinny jeans and a sweater that had Mickey mouse on it. I French braided my hair and walked downstairs, Eric and Aaron were in the kitchen making pancakes.

"Hey, I was thinking I could go out hunting today?" I said grabbing a piece of bacon. "That's actually what Deanna wanted you to do today." Aaron said, handing me a plate. "Perfect! Who's going with me?" I said sitting down and pouring syrup on my pancakes. "She wanted you to go with Daryl." Aaron and Eric sat down. I nearly spat out the food I had in my mouth, "Seriously? We barely know the guy!" I trusted him though, so wasn't sure why I was making such a big deal. "He's a great hunter and tracker as well, she thinks that you two would make a good team." "Ugh, fine!" I rolled my eyes and they both chuckled, "That went a lot easier than I thought it would. Which one's Daryl? The rugged one?" Eric asked, smiling. "What are you getting at? You do realize that I just broke up with Spencer…and they're all rugged by the way." "Oh! And as usual, Deanna is throwing a welcoming party." Aaron added. "We just had one! So ridiculous. I'm not going." I said rinsing my plate off and going over the grab my boots.

"Well, it's up to you, and honestly, I don't blame you." Aaron looked over at me, "By the way, Daryl will be over here any minute." "You've got to be kidding me." I mumbled putting my jacket on. I opened the door and Daryl was walking up the steps.

He looked the same as yesterday, how could he have not taken advantage of the shower? And how the hell was he wearing a shirt with no sleeves? "Hey, do you want a jacket?" I asked. "Naw, I'll be ok." He said. "Ok….let's go get our weapons." I said as we walked towards the shed.

I hated being around new people, it always made me so uncomfortable. I talked a good amount once I got to know someone, but the beginning was always awkward. I handed him his cross bow and grabbed my sad bow and arrow (at least compared to his). I also grabbed a knife and gun. "I'm assuming you grew up hunting?" I said as we walked out of Alexandria. "Yup. Pretty damn good at it too." He said, his voice rough. "Hm, and tracking?" I raised my eyebrows. "Even better." "Well, it looks like I may have met my match then." I said as we walked into the woods.

He wasn't lying, he was very good. We had caught some rabbit and squirrels and he had found some tracks. Surprisingly, the silence between us just seemed natural and wasn't horrible like I thought it would be. We were on a small ledge and it looked like whatever we were following had slid down, Daryl motioned his head and I nodded.

As we went down, a branch had snagged onto his shirt, lifting it up. "I got it!" He said, alarmed. I backed away and noticed that he had multiple scars on his back. That's why he was looking at me, I think it had made him feel connected to me in a way?

We walked a few more miles and ran into what we had been hunting. It was a very plump boar, I let him do the honors and we walked over to the large beast. "Nice!" I said quietly while Daryl gutted it and picked it up. We headed back. Daryl cleared his throat, "Where'd you get all those scars from?" He caught me off guard as I tried gathering my words, "Just a bad group of men I ran into. I was stuck with them for a month before I high-tailed it out of there. Bunch of fucking assholes. They called themselves The Claimers." I said shaking my head, Daryl had stopped in his tracks. "What?" "I ran into them…stayed with 'em for a few weeks. Nasty fuckin' group." He said as we continued on. "I'm sorry…for whatever they did to you." "You had nothing to do with it, so no need to be sorry."

The fact that he knew them kind of shook me up. I'm not sure why, but it just did. "Rick, he killed the leader…Joe and a few of the other ones." "Really? Good, I hope it was a slow, miserable death."

Deanna wanted to use the boar for the party they were having tonight, which made sense. "Are you going tonight?" I asked Daryl, he looked up at me, squinting. "Hell no. Not my kind of thing." He was struggling with prepping the animal because of the bandage of his hand. "Here, let me." I grabbed it and quickly began butchering it. "Where'd you get your scars?" I asked, focusing on the carcass. "Happened to me when I was younger….my dad. He was a piece of fuckin' shit." He said, sitting down on the grass. I looked at him, empathetically. How horrible to have someone that's supposed to love you treat you like trash.

"You guys need help?" Carl asked walking over, "Carl, stay close to Daryl!" Rick yelled. Oh yeah, because I'm so intimidating and hunger for murder. "I just finished, thanks for offering though." I smiled at him, I noticed him looking over at Enid. "She's pretty cool, you know. I think you two would get along great." I wiped my hands on a white towel, staining it red. "I-I don't know." He played with his hands nervously. "Want me to introduce you two?" "I'm ok, thanks though. I'll see you guys around."

Spencer walked by, eyeing Daryl, but paying no attention to me. "What's that guys deal?" Daryl asked. "I dated him not too long ago. It's a long story though." I watched as Barbie ran up to Spencer, grabbing his arm, as he quickly pulled away from her.

"Well, after all our hard work, you and I won't be getting any of this." I said, smiling at Daryl, his hair in his eyes with a serious look on his face. "I'll be just fine with rabbit and squirrel." He stood up, dusting his pants off. "Next hunt you go on, let me know." "Will do!" I said as I watched him walk away.

I went home and cleaned up and kicked back on the couch. "You sure you don't want to come?" Aaron asked as he and Eric put on their jackets. "Absolutely positive, you two have fun though." "Ok, I'm sure Deanna will be disappointed that you aren't coming." "Eh." I said, shrugging. Like I really cared anyway. They left and I decided to make some spaghetti.

I looked out the window as the pasta cooked and noticed Daryl sitting on the porch alone across the way. I guess I should invite him over….even though I really don't feel like it. I drained the pasta and took the garlic bread out of the oven and went outside in my pajamas and slippers. "Hey Daryl! Want to come over for dinner?" He looked over and nodded.

"It's just spaghetti, nothing fancy. Come on in." I said smiling at him. "Nice outfit." He said eyeing me as we went inside. "Hey, at least I'm not wearing the same clothes as earlier." He shrugged his shoulders, standing in the entry way awkwardly. "Make yourself at home." I entered the kitchen and fixed him a plate, as he sat down. "Want something to drink?" "Water is fine…thanks."

I sat down, joining him and watched him as if he hadn't eaten in days. He didn't even notice that I was staring, but I didn't want to make him uncomfortable so began eating. "Have you been with your group this whole time?" He swallowed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand…even though he had a napkin. "Yup." "That's nice. I feel like it's rare to be with the same group for so long. You guys are lucky." I said staring at my plate, I was hungry and didn't want to lose my appetite. "I guess. We've lost a lot of people on the way though." He had already finished. "Would you like some more?" "I'll grab it…if that's ok." He said standing up. "Go for it."

He wasn't one for questions. It was a one way conversation and made for a quiet evening. I grabbed his plate and mine, he looked down at the table, "Thanks…sorry. I'm not that great of company. I'm use to livin' out there, not in some fancy place like this." "No problem. And no need to be sorry. I'm still adjusting to this place too. I think it's going to take some time." He smiled at me, but looked ashamed in himself, "Seriously, Daryl. There's no need to feel bad. Eric made a chocolate cake a few days ago, want some?" "Sure…I mean, yes please."

We sat in the living room, finishing up on the cake, "Is any of your family alive?" I asked, curious. "Naw. The only family I had was my older brother Merle, but he died a while back. You?" He looked at me through his unkempt hair. "I'm sorry...and no. They all died almost a year ago? Aaron and Eric are my family now." I picked at my nail. "Were you close with your family?" "Yeah. It's hard to talk about…I shouldn't have brought it up, sorry." "Stop sayin' sorry so much. There's no need to be." He said grabbing my plate and placing it in the sink with his.

"I should head out. Thanks for everything, haven't had a meal like that since I don't know when." "You're welcome, thanks for keeping me company. I'll see you tomorrow." I opened the door and he walked back to his house, some of his people had returned.

I cleaned up and decided to go to bed. I lay there in the dark, thinking about Daryl. He was mysterious and didn't care much for talking, but maybe that was only to people he didn't know very well? Was he only putting himself out there because we had been through the same things in a way? I wasn't sure, but I could tell that we would become good friends at some point. I was glad that Rick's group was now a part of Alexandria.


	13. I'll Follow you into the dark

The next few weeks had went by and just as I predicted, Daryl and I grew closer and closer every day. I was getting to know everyone from his group and really enjoyed being around them, since we shared similar stories. As for the other people of Alexandria, they were weary of them and didn't quite trust them. They didn't understand that we were lucky to have them.

I sat on the porch with Maggie and Glenn as we watched Rick openly flirt with Jessie. "Oh man, he's going to get into some deep shit." I said, taking a bite out of an apple. "Yeah, her husband is a real asshole." Maggie leaned in while Glenn laughed. "What?" I couldn't take my eyes off the disaster waiting to happen. "It's like you two are watching a soap opera." "I mean, I guess….but it's even better because it's real. This is what happens when I've read every book we have here." I turned, smiling at Glenn. "Harper, look! Pete is watching them from the window." Maggie said excitedly. "Ok, come on now. This is real life and we already know he'll beat her. I'm out of here." Glenn went back inside.

"Well, he took the fun out of that." Maggie said as she stood up, watching Daryl walk towards us. "I'll leave you two to talk." She smiled at me as I shook my head at her. She thought that Daryl and l would be a good couple. That wasn't going to happen though. "Hey! How's it hanging?" I asked as I jumped the railing of the porch, he looked upset. "What is it, Daryl?" "Went out on a run with those idiots. Almost got us fuckin' killed. Nicholas, Aiden and Spencer are dumb as shit! How'd you ever date an idiot like that?" He dramatically sat on the swinging bench.

"I ask myself that sometimes. And I'm sorry, they sadly think they know everything." I sat next to him as I began to rock the bench back and forth. "They're going to get killed, or even worse get one of us hurt!" He threw his hands up. "Talk to Deanna. She'll listen to you." I said looking up and watching Spencer from afar, who was ironically watching me as well. "I hope so. If she doesn't, I'm only going out with my people." He said, crossing his arms. "Fair enough." I leaned my head on his shoulder. "Oh! Aaron wants you to go out with us in a few days to do some recruiting!" I said sitting up. "Me, out of all people?" He huffed, "We need your manly protecting." I said, bringing both my hands up to my face and batting my eyelashes. "Quit it, Harry." He hit his shoulder into mine. And yes, that was his nickname for me. I didn't care for it, but just rolled with it. "But, I'm like, for real Darry!" I said in a valley girl voice. He glared at me, he hated it when I called him that. Barbie walked by, smiling at Daryl. "What's her problem?" He said, scrunching up his nose. "She thinks you're like totally hot. You're so rugged and like different and cultured." I held my hand to my heart.

"I'm going to go take a shower, wash off some of the bull shit from today." He said, standing up. "Ok! Oh, Aaron wants you to come by later, he has a surprise for you!"

Aaron wanted to get along with Daryl, but he was not warming up to him. How could you not like Aaron? He was easy to get along with. He found a motorcycle that needed fixing up and was excited about it. He was hoping it would be a step in the right direction for a possible friendship.

"Hey Rick." He wore a cop uniform, Deanna had made him and Michonne security. He had butt heads with Pete a few times regarding Jessie and her boys. I respected that, since no one else (including myself) had done anything to help her. "Harper." He nodded. He didn't care for me, but the feeling was mutual.

I was just about to enter my house when I heard Aiden calling my name, "Yeah?" "Will you go on a run with us tomorrow? We need to get more power grids." "As long as you guys listen and don't act like a bunch of idiots." "Oh, so your boyfriend told on us?" I rolled my eyes, "Seriously Aiden? I've told you a thousand times, he's not my boyfriend. You guys are dealing with lives out there and need to take things serious-" "Ok, ok. We'll listen to you, as long as you come? Maybe you can keep things calm between both groups." He said, scratching his head. "Tomorrow, around eight?" "Sounds good."

Daryl had come over, shortly after our conversation. We sat on the couch, my feet resting on his lap as I read The Outsiders aloud. He had never read it before, and it was a classic. He wouldn't admit it, but I could tell he really enjoyed the book. I looked up at him as I read (I practically had to book memorized) and watched him as he bit his thumb nail intensely. I began chuckling, "What are you laughing at?" He said, rather annoyed. "You're so into this, you should see yourself." I started laughing harder. "Shut up, Harry!" He threw a pillow at my face, "Oh boy, you're asking for it!" I said grabbing it and hitting him multiple times.

He tickled my sides and I started snorting, falling to the ground, "Ok, stop! You won!" I said looking up at him as he leaned over me. He breathed heavily, "Like I always do." "Woah, no need to get a big head." I was subconsciously stroking his arm and my eyes grew wide, "Sorry, I was spacing out!" Aaron and Eric walked in, "Shoot, sorry!" Eric said as he continued to walk in. Daryl sprung up as Aaron took him outside.

I pushed the hair out of my face, trying to walk past Eric, "Wait a minute, you have some explaining to do." "Nothing is going on between us! I don't understand why everyone thinks that. We were just goofing around." I felt slightly annoyed. "Whatever you say."

I went outside where Aaron had presented Daryl his motorcycle. He had a small smile on his face. He wasn't extremely expressive, especially when it came to the emotion of happiness "Thanks. I can't wait to get started on it." He ran his hands over it. "Glad you like it." Aaron said, smiling. "When you fix it up, you have to take me on a ride!" "Wait, I don't think so." Aaron interjected. "Bro, I'm almost twenty-five. Chill out." Aaron laughed, shaking his head, "I always forget, since you act so childish at times." "Hey!" I said, lightly slapping him. "I'm gunna start working on this now. Thanks again, Aaron. See ya around, Harry." "Well, I won't be seeing him for a while." I said quietly. "I highly doubt that, Harp." Aaron said, patting my back.

A group of us packed into the back of a van, which included Glenn, Noah, Eugene, Tara, Nicholas and Aiden. Eugene had only come along to show us what we needed. He wasn't much of a fighter. I just hoped that this would go as smoothly as possible.

We arrived at the building and right off the bat, Nicholas started acting like a smart ass towards Glenn. "Listen to him, you dumb fuck. He's right." I snarled. Glenn had said that we needed to scope out the place before running right in and Nick gave him a snarky remark. "Fine." He said hunching over. I rolled my eyes, shaking my head.

We entered the dark building, looking at boxes, hoping to find what we needed quickly. Suddenly, we could hear corpses groaning from somewhere. They were locked up (thank God), staring at us, in hopes of getting a taste of fresh, human flesh. We continued on and found the right power grids.

A corpse came towards Aiden. It had once been someone from the Army, by the looks of it and was fully dressed in protective gear. Aiden began shooting at it, which was pointless since it was wearing a helmet, "Wait for it to come closer to you." Glenn said, but of course he wasn't listening and continued firing, "Shit, stop Aiden!" I yelled, noticing the thing had grenades on its belt, "Aiden, stop!" Glenn demanded, but it was too late, he hit one of the grenades and the corpse exploded.

We all hit the ground, and everything was disoriented by the smoke from the bomb. I could hear Nick saying "Oh God." And followed his voice, Aiden had been impaled and we had been split up from Eugene and Tara, who was unconscious. The explosion had set the walkers free, and one was coming towards Eugene, who was freaking out. Glenn jumped in, taking it out and I followed close by, killing a few that were closing in on us.

"We need to get out of here, quick! We'll get flooded out by the walkers!" I said as we shut a door, safe, but only temporarily. "She's losing a lot of blood!" Eugene said, we had placed Tara on a table, and he wasn't lying. The medic pack had been on Aiden and was probably pulverized. There was yelling outside, my heart dropped to my stomach, "Dammit, I checked his pulse, I swear, he was dead!" Nick said, sliding his hands down his face. "We need to save him, I'm sure we could stabilize him!" We couldn't just leave him for dead. "Let's do it. Will you be ok Eugene?" Glenn asked, "Yes, Tara would want you guys to help him." He was in full on panic mode, I couldn't blame him though.

"Ready?" Glenn asked me, Noah and Nick. We nodded in unison, going out into the waves of walkers. I began stabbing them in the head left and right. Nick had a flare gun and shot it off, temporarily distracting them. "Aiden!" I ran over to him, he was fucked. "Shit! If we move him, he'll die." I said looking at the three of them. "I-it's ok." He said, tears running down his face. "I've lost four other people…b-being irresponsible, I guess karmas a bitch, huh?" He chuckled. "We have to try!" Nick said desperately, "Save yourselves, please. Harper, tell my family I love them and I'm so sorry." I smiled and nodded, "I'm so sorry, Aiden." "We need to go, Harper." Glenn said, grabbing my arm.

I looked at Aiden, tears pouring down my face. The walkers began surrounding him and I looked ahead as he screamed in agony.

He would only distract them momentarily and we ran for the revolving door. Nick looked like he was going to shit his pants, "We need more distraction!" He said as I turned to look back, "Sorry!" He pushed me down, fucking pussy. "Harper!" Noah yelled through glass, "Just leave me, I'll be fine!" I said, struggling with the walkers. "Fuck you, Nick, I will fucking haunt you!" I screamed as I became encompassed.

Ok Harper, you've been through worse, you've got this, think fast. I fell to the ground as corpses reached for me, I crawled through to where we had been before and heard a blood curdling scream. What the fuck happened now? This was a horrible idea, going with two inexperienced people! I stood up and grabbed some boarding off a shelf, knocking those fuckers out left and right until I was able to get to where Eugene and Tara had been, they weren't there anymore.

I slammed the door and slid down, trying to catch my breath. I was exhausted and needed to rest. I had wondered who had died now. I hope to God it was that piece of shit, Nicholas. I took a deep breath and went for the exit, taking out a few more walkers, I could see the van we came in and saw Nick kicking Eugene out, telling him they needed to leave now. Where was Glenn? I looked around and he sprinted out of the door, going for Nick, like a cheetah after a gazelle.

He pounced on him and beat the shit out of him. He deserved it. "Just get in the van!" He demanded. "Harper? Oh thank God, you made it out alive!" Glenn embraced me, "W-where's Noah?" I was afraid to ask. Glenn shook his head. "I'm so sorry."

The ride back was silent, I tended to Tara and she was somewhat stable. I figured that Nick was responsible for the death of Noah. I couldn't even look at him, if I did, then I would probably kill him. We arrived at Alexandria and Eugene carried Tara and took her to Olivia, I tried helping, but was dismissed, being told I had done enough. I could hear Deanna scream and felt sick to my stomach.

I ran home and sprinted upstairs, "Harper, are you ok?" "Please leave me alone!" I said, my voice shaking. I stripped my clothes off, wanting to get rid of the outfit that would forever remind me of this day. I turned the shower on, using only hot water, so I couldn't feel my skin anymore. What a sick day, it all could have been easily avoided, inexperienced people had ruined it all.

I got out, looking at my bright red skin. I put on some sweats and a large shirt. I jumped into bed, pulling the covers over my head, thinking that it would help in some way. There was a soft knock at my door, "Aaron, Eric, please, I just need my space." I pleaded. The door open and I sat up, ready to scream, but it was Daryl. "Hey." He said softly. Honestly, he was probably the only person I wanted to see. "Please hold me." I said quietly, he crawled into bed, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me up against his body. I felt save with him, the same type of safe that I had felt with Negan. It was a good, familiar feeling.

I was stuck in the revolving door with Noah and Glenn was on the other side with Nick. We had come up with a plan and just as we were about to put it into action, Nick pushed, opening the side that Noah and I were in. As he ran the corpses had pulled Noah out with them, devouring him…pulling him a part. He screamed bloody murder as Glenn yelled and I trembled, tears running down my face.

"Harper…Harper, wake up!" Someone was shaking me, I shot up, drenched in sweat. "D-Daryl?" I squeaked out, I was actively crying. He hugged me tightly and I began to calm down, which surprised me. In the past, it would have been best to just give me space. Was it because the nightmare had nothing to do with The Claimers? Or because Daryl had a certain calming presence to him?

"Thank you." I pulled away from him as he wiped tears away from my face. "It was terrible, Daryl. You were right about everything. All of it could have been avoided." I told him everything and he listened intently. "Fuckin' asshole. Nick needs to be punished, trying to kill you and then actually killin' Noah?" He leaned his head against the wall. "I wouldn't be surprised if he's going to twist the whole story." I looked at the clock and it was eleven in the morning. "I'm going to go talk to Deanna."

I got up, grabbing pants and a t-shirt. "I'm going with you. I'll be downstairs." I smiled softly at him and threw my clothes on, shortly joining him.

"Hey, you ok, Harp?" Aaron asked, he had a casserole in his hands. "Yes. Yesterday was terrible. I'll tell you guys all about it. I need to talk to Deanna." "I was going to take this over, do you and Daryl want to?" "Sure, thanks! She'll appreciate this." I grabbed the dish and Daryl and I headed over.

I knocked on the Monroe's door and Spencer answered, with red, swollen eyes. "Spencer….I'm so sorry." He broke down crying, I looked over at Daryl, "I'll wait out here." I smiled and walked into the house, placing the casserole on the counter and hugging Spencer as he cried uncontrollably. "Did he say anything?" He pulled away, sniffling. "He said to let you guys know-" "Wait, I think my mom and dad should hear this too. She's finishing up talking with Nick, if you don't mind waiting?" "Not at all." Of course that asshole would have to be the first to rush over.

I sat at the dinner table with Spencer, rubbing his hand, Nick walked by and quickly looked away from me. "Thank you, Nicholas." Deanna said opening the door as he walked out. "Mom, Harper spoke with Aiden before he…you know." I stood next to him, rubbing his back. "Come in Harper."

We went into the living room, where Reg had joined us and I apologized for their loss. "He was trying to take out a walker that had grenades on it and kept shooting at it while Glenn and I tried warning him." I was trying to tell this as nicely as possible, I didn't want to sound like a complete dick. Spencer's grip tightened around my hand, "He continued and just like that hit one, causing it to go off. We were all disoriented and I could hear Nick scream…there he was lifeless, Nick was sure he was dead so we got away from the walkers, trying to configure a plan to get out. We then heard screaming…it was Aiden he was still alive. We rushed out but the whole situation was bad." My heart was racing and I tapped my foot. "He told me to tell you guys that he loves you all and that he was so sorry."

Deanna gasped as she began hysterically crying, "I'm sorry." I said quietly, squeezing Spencer's hand. "I should leave." "No!" Deanna said, "I want to hear your side of the story before things get fuzzy." "It can wait, I'll write it all down-" "No!" She nearly yelled, causing me to jump. "If you two don't mind leaving us alone." Spencer and Reg left and Deanna had grabbed Daryl, who sat next to me. She must have seen him waiting on the porch when she let Nick out.

We told her everything and she sat in silence once we had finished. "Your story and Nicks are quite different, Harper. He said that Glenn was at fault for everything." "No! Ask anyone else. He was the one who tried getting me killed and literally killed Noah. Blood is on his hands. He's dangerous, Deanna." "I'll have to talk to Glenn." She said looking at me with an empty stare. "Thank you for your time…both of you."

She showed us out and Daryl and I walked away. "Why wouldn't she believe us?" "Because she has known him longer than us. Hopefully she comes to her senses." He sighed as we stopped at my porch. "Thanks for everything, Daryl." I rubbed my arm and looked at the ground. "No problem….do you still have feelings for Spencer?" "No!" I answered almost immediately. I sat down, "He cheated on me and before that our relationship was almost at its end. We had started dating shortly after my horrible experience with The Claimers, which had ruined me and Spencer was growing….impatient and was tired of talking. At least that's what I got out of it. I don't know, I guess I was too broken for him?" Why was I telling him all of this? He didn't want to hear it.

I looked down at my boots, "He's an asshole, Harper. You'd be worth waiting for and you're sure as hell not broken. He's a fool to have let you go. You just need someone with patience that can teach you to love again." Daryl said, his voice soft. I looked up at him, smiling. "Thank you, that means a lot, especially coming from you." He blushed, "I-I'm going to go work on my bike, I'll see you later, Harry." He smiled at me. "Bye, Daryl." I said quietly.

I couldn't stop thinking about Daryl the rest of the day, I felt like I was in a dream state. "Everything ok, Harp?" Eric asked as I helped him make dinner, "Huh? Yeah…as good as it can be I guess." I said, dreamily. He didn't pry because of the events that happened yesterday. "Deanna wants to have a meeting tonight." Aaron said, setting the table, "I'm assuming about what happened yesterday?" "I'm staying home. I've already voiced me opinion." I put the mashed potatoes on the table and then the meat loaf. "I think that's fair." Aaron said.

We had finished dinner and I had finished the last of the dishes while Eric and Aaron got ready to go. "You sure you'll be ok alone?" Eric asked. "Yeah." "Stop trying to get out of it, Eric!" "Hey, I'm not! If you need anything you know where to find us." "Thanks." I said, crossing my arms. I had wondered if Daryl was going.

I sat on the couch, reading The Chosen One for the hundredth time, when I heard screaming. I grabbed a knife and flew out the door, it sounded like Barbie. I ran behind the house and there she was with a few walkers around her. How the hell did they get in? I ran forward as she continued to scream and gunshots went off, making the dead lifeless, yet again. "Help, please." Rick ran over, "I've got her, you make sure there are no more around!" I said, he nodded and I knelt down next to Barbie.

They had ripped into her stomach, causing her intestines to spill out and she was still alive. "I'm sorry." She said through a mouth full of blood. "Please, help." Rick had left one of his guns with me and I shot her in the head. What a horrible way to die, I could only imagine how painful that must have been.

I could hear Rick speaking loudly and followed his voice. He was talking to everyone, I had walked in mid conversation so wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Out of nowhere Pete came, belligerent and swinging a katana around. Reg stepped in and Pete pushed him away, accidentally cutting his throat. Holy shit, this place was falling apart. Deanna screamed, her heart broken, as Pete apologized profusely. "Take care of him, Rick." She said, anger in her eyes. One simple shot to his head and he was gone. Everyone watched Rick, frozen. They had all been suspicious of him from the beginning, but I feel like this act confirmed everything that they had been gossiping about…even though Deanna had told him to do it.


	14. Sooner or Later God'll Cut You Down

Pete had come for Rick, telling him that he "Wasn't one of us." Yesterday, he and Rick had gotten into a fight, which then led Rick on some power trip. Threating people to come at him and Michonne had knocked him out. It sounded like Rick was kind of losing it, maybe he wasn't use to being in a place that he didn't have complete control of?

Anyway, Pete had come tonight with intentions of killing Rick, not Reg. On top of that, a guy Rick had met in the beginning….Morgan I think? Had just arrived and was thrown off by Rick's behavior. It was all ridiculous.

I had followed Spencer to his house, away from all of the drama, "Spence, wait!" I said before he shut the door. "Let me keep you company until you mom returns home?" I said, hopefully. "You don't have to. I know I treated you like shit, Harp." He said, trying to hold back tears. "That's in the past. We were great friends before and I'd like to be there for you." I gently touched his hand and he nodded as I walked in. We sat down on the couch.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I know how difficult it is to lose the ones you love." I put a roll of toilet paper next to him. He nodded, "I don't feel like talking right now, Harp. I want you to stay with me though." He rested his head on my lap and I ran my hands through his hair, humming Let it Be by The Beatles. He dozed off and I studied him. He really was handsome, his chiseled jaw line, pouty lips and cute round nose. I smiled and looked out the window at the moon.

If I could, I'd leave this planet. I'm sure there were no walkers in space, only kind, friendly aliens….well in my fantasy at least. I sighed, resting my elbow on the arm of the couch and placing my head in my hand. Hopefully Deanna would be home soon, I didn't know how much longer I could stay awake. I began to nod off, but was awoken by the door opening. It was Spencer's mom, who rushed upstairs.

He rubbed his eyes, "How long was I out for?" He asked, sitting up. "Exactly three hours." I said yawning, I heard his stomach grumble, "Would you like one of my famous omelets?" I asked looking at the grandfather clock that chimed, reading one in the morning. "I could go for that, and probably a shower." "Go ahead, I'll have it ready for you once you're done." I smiled sleepily at him. "Thanks, Harp. For everything, you really-" "Shh, say no more." He smiled and headed upstairs.

Once he was done, we sat at the dining table, eating in silence. "I feel like none of this would have never happened if Rick's group hadn't come." Oh boy. This was a sensitive subject. I got up, clearing our plates. "I better get going." "You disagree then?" He asked, repulsed. "I don't know what to think, Spencer. Things have gotten a little crazy, but I feel like that's what's expected when you merge two, large groups together." I didn't want to argue and had to choose my words carefully. "Whatever, why would I expect you to understand? Especially since you're all over Daryl…of all people." He muttered the last three words. "Come on, I want us to be friends again Spence, I don't have the energy for this. If you need anything, let me know. Good night…or good morning, I guess."

I left and got home, excited to become one with my bed. I opened my door and Daryl was sound asleep. I changed into some pajamas and crawled into bed, next to him. "Shit. I was waiting for you, must have fallen asleep. Sorry." He mumbled, getting up. "No, stay!" I said touching his arm.

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I placed my head on his chest and we both quickly fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I rolled over and faced Daryl's bare back, he must have taken his shirt off sometime last night. He had a tattoo of two demons on the right side of his shoulder and massive scars. I hadn't realized how large they were, and they had looked deep too. How could a father do that to their own kid? I was so deep in thought that I hadn't noticed that he was turning over, our faces uncomfortably close to each other.

"Hello." I said awkwardly as I grinned. His hair was out of his eyes and I noticed that his eyes weren't just grey, they had a hint of blue to them as well. They also looked different depending on the lighting. "Morning." He smiled and sat up, and bent down to grab his shirt. "Daryl…" I said, running my hands across his back, causing him to freeze, "Why?" He sighed, putting his shirt on, "My old man was a real fuckin' asshole. He'd beat the shit out of me and my brother almost every night. Would grab anything from his belt to a fuckin' horse whip, beat our asses for no reason. He was an alcoholic and my mom was addicted to meth…" I grabbed one of his hands that rested in his lap, stroking it with my thumb, "I-I couldn't take it anymore so left. Basically raised by Merle and we lived on the streets, trying to survive. I would never wish that on anyone, even my worst enemy." He said quietly.

This was the most he had ever spoken and it was something so heart breaking. I leaned my head on his shoulder and squeezed his hand, looking up at him, "I'm so sorry Daryl." I didn't know what else to say, what could you say to something so horrible? He leaned down, our lips inches apart from each other.

Ok, I know it seems weird that I'm so comfortable around Daryl when it comes to any kind of touching. We had both been through abuse and understood one another as well as each other's boundaries without speaking. I couldn't fully explain it.

I placed my hand on his cheek, almost closing the gap when Eric opened the door, unannounced, "Hey guys, breakfast is…oh shit, I'm sorry!" His face turned bright red, which never happened to Eric, so I knew he hadn't done it on purpose. "It's okay, Eric!" I said, chuckling while my cheeks turned a light pink. "I-I better go. See you guys later." Daryl said as he put his vest on and walking past Eric.

"Seriously though, sorry Harp." Eric could barely maintain eye contact with me. "No worries, honestly, we were just talking." "Please! You two were about to kiss. Now come down for some breakfast."

After breakfast was finished Deanna had called a mandatory meeting. "There's a large hoard of walkers coming our way. We need to diverge them since they're coming straight towards us." Rick spoke as he stood next to Deanna. Since the passing of her husband, I felt like she depended more on Rick.

"I only want experienced people going out, this is going to be a dangerous job. We've come up with a plan, and I think it will work out well." We had been training people on a daily basis and a lot of them had come a long way. If we followed the plan, I seriously think it would work. "If you want to come along, meet me after this meeting….which will be now, unless you have anything to add Deanna?" She shook her head.

I definitely wanted to go. I was up for an adventure and would like to get out, even if it was dangerous. A good amount of people stayed around, which was surprising. "Harper, come here." Rick said. I walked up, standing between him and Daryl. "You know these people better than me and have been training with them, what do you think?" I looked at all of the familiar faces and then at Rick, "They're a solid group, they won't let you down." He nodded and began to go into detail about the plan, about who would be where and what vehicles would be used and different ways to herd the walkers.

"We'll leave tomorrow and go over a test run, bright and early." I hoped that this would all work. If not, we would be fucked. Rick made it sounds like there were hundreds of corpses, which could wipe out all of Alexandria.

"You excited to ride with me?" Daryl asked, his voice gruff. "Uh, yes! I've never been on a motorcycle, so it should be fun." I smiled at him, hitting my hand into his. "Maybe you can teach me how to ride it sometime?" I was facing him as I walked backwards. "Uh, I don't think so." "Oh, come on….oh shit!" I tripped over a rock and Daryl grabbed me, pulling me closely to him, "You ok, Harper?" I nodded, trying to catch my breath, wrapping my arms around his neck, while his hands rested on my waist.

I started laughing, why? I had absolutely no idea. Daryl looked at me, dumbfounded, I think he was unsure of how to act. I placed my forehead on his, sighing, "Sorry, I-" "Hey, what the fuck are you doing, man?" It was Spencer and he was coming towards Daryl and me, angrily. "What the hell are you doing Spencer?" I stood in front of Daryl, "Its ok." He said standing next to me while Spencer got into his face.

"Don't touch her!" He pointed a finger into Daryl's chest, his face was stone cold. "Or what?" He asked quietly. "Spencer, we're not together anymore. You don't have a say in who I hang out with." I said firmly. He had his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles were white. Daryl on the other hand looked quite calm. "Daryl," He looked over at me, "You don't have to-" _**Wham!**_ Spencer hit him square in the jaw, catching him off guard and he fell to the ground.

"God dammit Spencer, stop!" I yelled as neighbors started coming out while Spencer got one more good punch in. Daryl got on top of him quickly and raised his fist "Just do it!" He yelled, rage in his eyes. "You're not worth my time." Daryl said getting off of him and spitting blood on the ground, walking away. I started following him, "Harper, wait!" I spun around, "What? What the hell do you want?"" I spat. "Please. I want you back. Just please forgive me, I need you, especially after losing my-" "Stop right there! You cannot use that as an excuse. We're done. We obviously can't even be friends. Just leave me alone. I want nothing to do with you, just get the fuck out of my life!" I yelled, not realizing how many people were watching.

I ran after Daryl, up his porch and into his house. Sasha was handing him some ice wrapped in a towel, "Hey." I said softly. "Hey Harper. Looks like you'll be in good hands Daryl." She smiled, walking out of the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, Daryl." "It's not your fault." I walked over to him grabbing his hand that iced his face and pulling it down. "Oh no. I think you need stitches. He split your lip. Let's go to the clinic."

I had placed two sutures in Daryl's lip, "It'll make you look tougher, I guess? Even though you're already intimidating…kind of." I smiled sheepishly, running my thumb over his cheek. "Ready to get out of here?" He nodded. Was he angry with me? Maybe I needed to give him some space. I wasn't sure. We stopped at his house, "I really am sorry, Daryl." I looked at the ground, wishing I could hide away in a hole. "I'll see you tomorrow hopefully?" I said as I began walking away. "Stay with me tonight." He said. My heart raced, "A-are you sure? I totally understand if you're mad at me." "I'm not mad at you….Harry. Come on." He grabbed my arm and led me into his house, walking me upstairs into what I was assuming was his bedroom.

There were clothes scattered on the ground and his bed wasn't made. It's how I would have expected his room to look. He was letting me into his world more and more each day. I watched him as he kicked his boots off and jumped onto his bed. "I don't bite Harp." He said a wry smile on his lips. I removed my shoes and jacket and lay next to him, awkwardly.

"What'd he do to you?" He asked, breaking the silence and facing me. I told him everything which took a few hours and he listened closely, never once interrupting. I had finally finished and he looked at me, studying my face, "What an idiot." Was all he said. I shrugged my shoulders, "I'm serious Harper. He's crazy to have not wanted you….you're somethin' else and any guy would be lucky to be wanted or loved by you. I know you think you're broken, but you're not. You've just been through a lot of horrible shit, but that doesn't make you any less." He looked at his hands as he fidgeted with them.

I honestly didn't know what to say. That's what I needed to hear, it felt like a weight had been taken off my shoulders. I hadn't realized that I had started crying, "Sorry!" I said quickly wiping tears away, "It's just….that was one of the nicest things someone has said to me and I needed to hear it. Thank you, Daryl." I looked at him, smiling.

We were sitting across from each other with our legs crisscrossed. He leaned in towards me and I closed the gap. Our lips met and it felt like an explosion went off, I leaned forward, wanting to savor the kiss. He pulled away and I slowly opened my eyes, not wanting it to end…I wanted more.

"We should get some sleep. It's gunna be a busy day tomorrow." He softly ran his hand down the side of my face as the butterflies in my stomach went crazy. I nodded my head, as if I were in a trance and crawled under the covers. Daryl removed his shirt, throwing it on the ground with the rest of his clothes.

I rested my head on his bare chest and he wrapped both his arms around me, making it feel like nothing in the world could harm me.

I woke up early the next morning and needed to swing by my house to grab a few things. I opened the door and was greeted by Carl, my stomach dropped. "Shit." I mumbled as I rubbed my neck. "I knew it, Maggie and me were right!" He said excitedly. "Carl, nothing happened-" "No need to explain, you're secret is safe with me." He winked as he went back into his room. I trusted him, he was a good kid, so I just shrugged it off.

I went downstairs and was surprised to see some people on the couch and others on the ground. They hadn't split up yet and felt safe with each other that was understandable. I crept around them and got outside, nearly jumping out of my skin as Maggie gasped, "You stayed over?" She whispered. "Sweet Jesus, Maggie! You almost gave me a heart attack." I placed my hands on my chest. "Tell me everything!" She patted the bench next to her.

It was nice having a girlfriend around, so I figured I'd indulge her….also I was pretty excited about it. "We just talked last night for a bit and he was really sweet….and then we kissed and that's it!" "You know, Carl and I were the only ones who knew you two would get together. I'm so happy for you!" She genuinely smiled, placing her hand on my lap. "We're not together….yet, but you'll probably be the first to know. I gotta go, I'll see you later!" I said getting up and heading home.

I showered and looked through clothes to wear. I grabbed a pair of leggings that were all black with Jack Skellington's face on the knees. I paired it with an over-sized Queen shirt that had holes here and there. I then put my hair up into a messy bun and ran down stairs, throwing on my boots and jacket. "It's getting warm Harper, you can't wear that all the time." Aaron said handing me a bag packed with food. "I'll hold on to it as long as I can! And thank you!" I smiled at him. "You staying?" "Yeah. You know how Daryl and I went out? Ran into an odd situation. Someone had set up a trap, and some people have found walkers in the woods with W's carved into their heads. I feel like something bad might happen. Want to be around, just in case."

Daryl hadn't mentioned any of that, probably because of all my high school, bull shit drama. "Oh boy. That's scary. I hope nothing happens….especially while a majority of people are gone." I took a bite out of an apple. "I think we'll be okay, I just have an uneasy feeling about it…like something will come of it, you know?" I nodded my head, feeling slightly anxious. "Don't worry Harp, it might be nothing. You be careful today, ok?" "I will, you won't be getting rid of me anytime soon." I gave him a big hug and headed out.

We did one last de-brief with Rick as we all stood in a circle. I stood between Glenn and Daryl, looking around the solid group of people we had, feeling proud. "Glenn, what the fuck is Nick doing here?" I hissed as I glared at him. "He wanted to help, told him he could come along as long as he stays by my side and listens to everything I say." "You're too forgiving." He chuckled, "You have to learn to forgive and move on, otherwise it consumes you."

Damn, I had to give it to Glenn. First off, that fucker tries blaming him for Aiden's death, kills Noah and goes after Glenn in the woods with a knife to do God knows what to him, which I think his intentions were to kill him. I hated that guys guts, but if Glenn could move on from it, I guess I could too.

"You ready?" Daryl asked, smiling. "Yup! How's your lip?" I asked as he mounted his motorcycle. "Great." I got on and wrapped my arms around his waist, "Ready?" He asked revving the engine. "Yes, sir!" I rested my head on his back as the vibrations ran through my bones.

The ride was about thirty minutes and with my short attention span I had to liven things up, "Come on Daryl, sing along with me!" I yelled as he shook his head, "You won't get a thing outta me!" "All we hear is radio ga ga, radio goo goo, radio ga ga!" I belted as I stretched my arms out, "What the hell are you doing?" Abraham drove up next to us while Sasha chuckled beside him, "Just having some fun!" I yelled as I placed my hands on Daryl's hips, "You've got yourself a crazy one, Daryl!" He yelled as he drove by us.

We arrived, and holy shit, Rick wasn't lying. There were what looked to be hundreds, maybe even thousands of walkers in a quarry. There was a large semi-truck that was the only thing keeping them blocked from moving towards us, which by the way was teetering on the edge of a cliff.

"We'll need to lead them down this highway right here…." Rick said as he pointed at a map. We all heard crumbling and looked up, "Oh fuck." I whispered as I watched the large vehicle crash down, "We need to move now!" Rick yelled as the corpses walked towards us. We were fucked.

***Please review and let me know what you think! (:***


	15. We'll Keep on Fighting Till the End

Two semi-trucks blocked the hoard from us, but with as many as there were that wouldn't last long. They walked forward, squeezing themselves between the small spaces, grabbing for us as their flesh tore off. The trucks began to move allowing more to break in.

"Be careful." Daryl said as he got onto his motor cycle. He was going to lead the hoard and I was going to stay on foot with the group. I ran over to him and kissed him on the lips quickly, "You too." And with that, he was off.

We began running, "You all know your assignments, you know where to rendezvous." Rick's voice said over the radio. "Daryl leads 'em out. Sasha and Abraham join him at the bottom of the hill." We let each group know where we were by flare gun.

I stood with Michonne, Morgan and Rick by the RV. We had set up barriers to lead the walkers away from Alexandria. The way you would when herding cattle. Morgan was giving shit to Michonne about a peanut butter protein bar. I looked over at Rick as he shook his head and rolled his eyes. We stood behind metal walls, waiting for our next move. I wasn't sure if those walls would keep us safe, Rick seemed pretty confident though.

All four of us shot flare guns as we could hear the loud groans from the corpses. I could hear Daryl's bike and looked through the crack of the walls. There were so many of them, it was ridiculous. I was glad that Morgan and Rick had found this hoard (if that's even what you could call it) before they found us.

We ran into the woods, meeting up with the rest of the group, watching the wave go by, going unnoticed. "It's working. You we're right." Carter said as he shook Rick's hand. He had been against this plan from the beginning, but was surprised to see it was actually working. "Everyone, we need to finish this. We have to keep moving and fan out that thing front to back." Rick said as we all listened closely. Man, was this guy one hell of a leader. We were definitely lucky to have him.

He broke down our next plan quickly and we began running shortly after. Suddenly, we could hear screaming coming from our general direction, which got the walkers off course. Rick was talking to Tobin, telling him to get them back on path as we ran towards Carter. He was on the ground with a walker on top of him. I ran over, stabbing the thing in its head. "Carter! I'm so sorry." I said as I kneeled next to him. He had trained with me from the beginning, so it was hard knowing that he wasn't going to make it.

He was in shock and continued to scream, Rick ran over with knife in hand and quickly took him out. "Sorry Harper, it had to happen." He said wiping the beads of sweat from his face. I nodded and took a deep breath as I stood up. "Morgan, I want you to head back and tell everyone what's happening." Rick said as Morgan looked at him, baffled.

It was strange to see how quickly Rick moved on from killing Carter. Was it because he hadn't known him for long? Or maybe he had seen and been through so much that it didn't faze him? I felt like I had been through a lot, but moving on from taking a real human life so quickly, I found that disturbing in a way.

Morgan tried saying something, probably about Carter but Rick quickly cut him off, dismissing him. We ran through the woods to our next destination, meeting up with the others when all of a sudden a truck horn loudly blared. Ruining our whole plan, causing the walkers to head towards the general direction of Alexandria. What the fuck had happened? Someone had to be sabotaging us. Rick yelled for Tobin over the radio but all we heard back was static. At least half of the hoard was coming our direction and we needed to run back home to see what was going on.

"Here's the new plan, I'll go grab the RV, keep them from coming to Alexandria. The rest of you head back." "I can go with you, that's at least a mile away." I offered. "No, I'll handle it. Glenn, Michonne, Harper." Rick said tilting his head away from the group as we followed him. "If something's in front of you, you kill it. No hiding, no waiting. You keep going." "You can't do this on your own!" Glenn interjected. "We'll need your help." Michonne quickly said as Rick agreed. "There's no way that they are all going to make it. You try to save them, but if they can't keep up, you keep going. You make sure you get back."

There was a blood curdling scream and my heart began racing. I felt like we had already lost too many people. A walker was attacking Nick, it had bit into his neck and blood was gushing. I stabbed him in the head, no one deserved to go through pain like that. Rick took the valuable weapons that were left on Nick. The group that wasn't completely familiar with Rick watched him, as if he was a hungry vulture, tearing at the flesh of a rotted corpse. I felt like they were beginning to question whether this was the right thing to do.

We began walking as everyone expressed their concerns. "We'll make it through this, ok guys." I said as I looked ahead, noticing some stray walkers. "Wait here. Shoot only if necessary." Glenn said to the group as we rushed towards the scattered, lifeless bodies and began taking them out.

I heard a gunshot almost immediately. Sturgess had tried taking a few out but hit one of our men in the process, leaving him down and running away as Glenn called after him. "Shit." I muttered as I ran over stabbing one of the corpses that was reaching for him.

We had survived that small battle…at least I thought we had, that is until I heard Doug screaming. He turned around, nailing a walker in the head as it fell to the ground. It had bit him in the shoulder, but he insisted we move along.

We walked out onto the main road with two injured people and basically, a dead man walking. Our team had been hit hard. We stopped at a town, looking around. I heard Nick saying that he and Aiden had been here before, I scoffed, shaking my head. He made his way over to me, "What do you want?" I asked, my voice flat. "I wanted to apologize. I really am sorry….I'm a coward and I want you to know I am trying my best to change and learn from what I have done. I-I feel terrible." He looked at the ground as I watched him, hate rushing through my veins. I need to be more like Glenn. I took a deep breath, "Thanks…in time I'll forgive you. It's unfortunate that you realized you needed to change after losing so many…but at least you're trying to be a better person." He smiled and we moved along.

Since he knew the area we were going to, we let him lead. I was apprehensive of this plan, but it was really our only shot. We went into an alley way, where corpses were and Nick froze. Was he having a flashback or something? I noticed on the streets that there were walkers coming both ways "Nicholas!" I said trying to snap him out of it, "Shoot! Uhh…" Great, who would have guessed? I thought as my heart sunk to the bottom of my stomach.

Glenn led us into an old pet store. "We could distract the hoard by burning one of the buildings, it'll buy us some time." He said as we stood together. "I'll do it." Michonne volunteered almost immediately. "No, it was my idea so I should." "But you have a wife." "Just let me do it. You and Harper take everyone back. I'll be fine." He said firmly. "There's a feed store that should burn up easily…I'll go with you. I can draw them out." Nick said.

They both headed out, while we waited. I grabbed some bandage material from the shelves and wrapped Mike's leg. "Just leave me." I could hear Annie telling Keith. "We're just holding you guys back." Mike chimed in. "We're not leaving you. There's no way." I said finishing up. "We'll all make this out alive." I said with a hopeful smile on my face.

Some walkers wandered the streets aimlessly, but that was cut short. Something was behind the door in the pet store, banging, grabbing their attention. "You have got to be kidding me." I said as we backed away from the door, Michonne ready with katana in hand. She opened it and out fell one corpse that she beheaded. "They know we're in here. We can't wait out the herd anymore!" Keith said. He was right, they were coming.

We opened the doors and my God there were a lot of them. We began taking them out, trying to protect the injured…which we quickly failed at. Annie fell down and yelled at us to keep going, I ran towards her and Michonne grabbed my arm. "Harper, we have to go!" She said as I watched the walkers' envelope her body.

We ran into another alley, where there was an iron gate that we needed to get over. I helped Michonne move a large box that we could use to help us do so. We each began to climb, one at a time. I watched as walkers grabbed at Michonne's and Doug's legs, shooting the ones that were closest. Doug got pulled in as he was devoured. It was like a movie horror scene, but none of us could look away.

There were only four of us now….and it had all happened so quickly. This world was so fucked up. Losing people was what was normal and it was an everyday thing. It was just heart breaking. I felt sick to my stomach, but knew I had to continue on.

We had finally made it back to Alexandria and it looked horrible…like they had been through war. What the hell had happened? They had been attacked, but by who? There were destroyed buildings and part of the gate had been taken down by a semi. There were dead bodies scattered throughout the neighborhood.

I heard them opening the gate and ran over, there was Rick running in, with a hoard of walkers behind him. Everyone watched as the hungry corpses banged at the gate, all horrified. Most of them had never seen anything like that. Rick began talking, but I just couldn't focus at the moment. Where the hell was Daryl? Was he safe? I wouldn't be surprised if he were dead…what a terrible thing to say, but it was true.

Aaron's voice snapped me out of my dark thoughts, "I left my pack behind, that's how they found us. It was my fault they came here…" Deanna walked away (looking quite corpse like herself). She was totally checked out.

Everyone dispersed and I walked over to Aaron. "Thank God, you're ok Harp!" He said embracing me. "You can't blame yourself for all of this Aaron." I said pulling away, looking at him concerned. "I have to. The people who died today…their blood is on my hands." "No. Don't do this to yourself. They would have found us sooner or later." He looked disappointed, but tried putting a smile on. I gave him another hug and we began putting Alexandria back together.

It was the next day and Daryl, Glenn, Sasha and Abraham hadn't shown up. I sat on the porch with Maggie before the day of hard work began. "Glenn is strong, Maggie. I have no doubt that he'll come back." I said, comforting her. She sipped her tea, holding back tears, "I sure hope so, Harper. I don't think I could handle things without him." I looked at her, sympathetically and placed my hand on her back. "Thank you. It's nice to have a close girlfriend again, someone I can really talk to." She smiled as one stray tear rolled down her cheek.

"Harper…" Morgan began as he walked towards us, "Yeah?" "Can I talk to you…privately?" I shrugged my shoulders and walked over to him. "What's up?" "Do you think you can help me with something?" He asked as we walked towards the clinic, "Depends on what it is." He stopped as he faced me, "I need some help with someone who is injured. I'm not sure if it's infected and it probably needs to be bandaged and he may need some antibiotics." "Why not ask Denise?" "She's busy, taking care of Mike. This needs to be kept a secret though." What was he hiding? I was curious and should have probably asked more questions, but I agreed to it anyway.

I went to the clinic grabbing a few supplies, going unnoticed by Denise and walked out, following Morgan. We went into one of the vacant houses, that was still in the process of being built and went down into the basement. He opened the door and there was a greasy man sitting, he looked at me and I noticed he had a "W" on his forehead…the people that Aaron had talked about, that had attacked us. "Wait, Morgan! What the fuck are you thinking?" I whispered harshly.

"I can change him. I know I can. I won't let him go until I'm sure he won't kill again." He said as we stepped out briefly. "Morgan, these guys…they're messed up. It's like Marilyn Manson shit that they do!" "Please, Harper." He said, worry in his eyes. I sighed, "Fine." Gunshots began going off outside, "I'll go check it out, you tend to him. I'll be right back." He said as he rushed up stairs. Great, just fucking great. I thought as I walked through the door, that sick man looking up at me once again as the gun fire continued.

I heard the door lock as it closed and felt misery set in. "Fuck." I said sliding down against the wall, as far as I could be from the prisoner who stared at me quite intensely. "You know, we can talk." He said. Ugh, the last person I would want to talk to. I tried ignoring him, "You don't have to be afraid." I looked straight ahead, wishing I hadn't put myself in this situation. Why was I so stupid? "Talk." He simply stated.

"I should be helping my people out there, with whatever is going on. I shouldn't be here." I straightened my legs out, looking at my boots. "None of you should." He said coldly. That gave me the courage to look him in the eyes, "Seriously? Do you think you and your people deserve to be alive?" I said rather calmly. "Yes." He said without hesitation.

Good God was a creepy looking guy. Stringy, greasy brown hair, dark brown, almost black eyes with no remorse what so ever and stained, rotten teeth. "What do you think I've done?" I scoffed, "Are you serious? You've killed innocent people." "We freed them…." He was really going to justify murdering? Ok then. I placed my head against the wall looking up at the ceiling, "and then we were just going to use what was left." He smirked at me. He really was mental.

"You came here, not knowing what you were getting yourself into?" He asked. "Not until he opened the door, you got to witness by genuine reaction." "Why didn't you ask him who needed help?" Even this guy was smarter than me. "I trusted him and I wanted to help whoever was in need." I said honestly as I looked at his emotionless face. He sighed, "It's just an….infection. I was breaking into a car and cut myself on a rusty bumper. Just like that." He smiled as I listened. "It's not unfair, or just. Nothing's unfair anymore. It might not kill me, but it might." He looked at the ground, in thought, "I've done my part, and the world will take care of the rest. It won't change."

I wasn't expecting that to come out of him. That was pretty dark and deep too. I hoped that what he said wasn't true, but at the same time wouldn't be surprised if it was. I studied his face as he looked straight at me, waiting or watching for what my reaction would be. He was a monster, but must have be corrupted by someone. Before all of this happened I could see him just being a normal, everyday guy. His mind was weak and someone sick had taken advantage. "Let's take care of that wound." I said.

He looked at me, perhaps surprised by my answer and pulled his shirt up, removing a towel that was covering it. It was a large, oozing gash on his abdomen. It didn't look good. I moved closer to him, trying to get a better look while he coughed. I took the necessary supplies out of my bag as he watched me closely.

I could hear yelling upstairs and Carol and Morgan rushed down. Carol had a knife in her hand, ready to kill. I honestly couldn't blame her, I backed up letting them talk things through. "I don't want to have to kill you, Morgan." She threatened, tears at the brim of her eyes. "You won't." "I will." "You can't. I won't let you." He said protectively, stick in hand.

"Please, step aside. I'm not asking you again." She said, knife pointed towards him. Morgan hit the knife out of her hand as it flew to the other end of the room, and knocked Carol off her feet. "Guys, stop!" I said standing up, "This is ridiculous!" He pulled Carol by her legs as she reached for the knife, she kicked him in the face, knocking him to the ground. She grabbed the knife as Morgan ran at her, her swinging it towards him. "For fucks sakes!" I yelled as they continued on. Morgan picked her up, throwing her to the ground, panting. "Seriously, come on-" The "W" guy grabbed Morgan's stick and with one smooth swing knocked him out.

Shit, I should have been paying attention to him. He grabbed a knife from Morgan's belt, pointing it towards me and I quickly held my hands up. This was just fucking great. "Why not just leave us to die? Get out of here while you can!" I said. I was angry, but more at myself. He looked at me, considering it but walked towards me, backing me into the wall. "You're such a fucking bullshitter!" I watched, huffing like an anxious animal while he laughed, "You're what I like about people."

Tara, Rosita and Eugene rushed downstairs with guns pointed. He grabbed me, placing the knife to my neck, my heart racing. "Lower the guns." He calmly said, then repeating himself. He asked them to hand them over, which they did as well and he quickly picked up one of the guns aiming it at them. This was just fucking great. I had put myself in this fucking dumb situation.

"You don't need her." Tara said, "I know. Now get back." He said placing the gun to my temple. It felt like my heart was going to beat out of my chest. We walked up stairs and went out the door. What was this guys' plan? There was no way we'd survive the tsunami of walkers.

The three of them looked at me worriedly, unable to do anything as we got outside. We hid from the walkers as he held his gun to my back. I wanted to run, but knew he'd shoot me without thought. We watched them through bars as they wandered Alexandria. What was his plan? I honestly didn't think he had one. He squatted down next to me, "When there's an opening, we'll make a break for that tower. Hm?" I nodded my head and he wore a large, teeth bearing smile and chuckled, biting his lip.

Night came and we still hadn't made a move. We could hear gunshots and screaming which got the attention of the walkers. He began talking but I couldn't hear him. What had happened? Who had been killed? "I guess you all thought that." His voice rang. I had heard something about putting up a fight so just rolled with it, "We put up one hell of a fight." I said going back into reality. "That's why your friends are dead." I stated simply as I watched the walkers. "Yeah. We should have waited and watched a little longer. I was selfish." This guy had no remorse for any of his actions. I watched him as he talked about going towards the guard tower and over the wall. What a pathetic human being. I also knew that there was no way of us making it. I'd die with this sick fuck.

"Start moving." He said as I followed him. This was it. "Now. Straight up that guard post, and do not stop. Go." I ran out as he followed closely behind. I had no weapons as the walkers reached for me. He was taking one out while one of them lunged towards me. "Shit!" I said as it grabbed onto me and more came around. He ran over and took one out but the other had grabbed him, biting into his arm. I was surprised that he actually protected me. He had to have been a good guy. I looked at him as he screamed killing the walked that had bit him and holding his injured arm.

"We can take care of that, come on!" I said to him. "We'll be able to save you, only if you can get me to the clinic." He looked determined, walking through the hoard as we moved on. We entered on of the houses, catching our breath. "Ok, let's do this." I said as he nodded, us both walking out as the corpses grabbed for us. "Go, go!" He yelled as he took them out. I heard gunshot and watched as he fell to the ground. What the fuck? I looked up at Carol. "Run Harper!" She yelled.

I was dumbfounded as I nodded, making my way through the crowded streets. I had resented that man, but at the same time wanted to save him. He had helped me…even saved me, even if he had put me in that situation. He obviously had some good in him.

I ran into the infirmary where Spencer, Aaron, Keith and Denise were. I hugged Aaron and pulled away, "You ok?" He asked running his hand over my face. I nodded, my heart slowing down. They had moved all of the patients upstairs. We looked outside and watched as Rick ran through the hoard with Carl in his arms. "We need to get IV's ready…"Rick busted through the door. Had Carl been bit? It felt like things were moving in slow motion.

"This is a gunshot?" Denise asked as Rick laid Carl on the table. "Please save him." Rick whispered. We turned on lights and Michonne grabbed towels for Denise while I set an IV. I helped Denise, putting pressure on the eye and helping her find bleeders. The bullet missed his brain, and thank God at that. Rick walked outside, axe in hand while Michonne yelled after him.

Denise finished placing the last suture while everyone ran out to help Rick, "Do you need anything else?" I asked. "No. They could use you out there. He's stable." She said as I followed them. The walkers came at us, endlessly as we took them out left and right. We had to fight for Alexandria.

"Knock 'em away, drive 'em down!" Rick said as more people ran out to help. "We can beat 'em!" He yelled through the loud snarls.

We hacked away, when suddenly there was a large fire, distracting all of the walkers. It looked like the lake had somehow ignited, giving us the advantage.

It seemed impossible but we did did beat 'em. Every single one of 'em. I was so proud to be a part of such a strong team. It was morning by the time all the walkers were "dead" and we were all exhausted. It felt like I hadn't slept in a few days.

We looked around at all of the bodies, heavily breathing. Each of us drenched in blood and sweat. Our next course of action would be to get Alexandria back up and running. I felt like after the hell we had all endured though, one day of rest wouldn't be so bad. This was the group that could survive through anything.


	16. I'm Going to Make This Place Your Home

Alexandria looked unrecognizable. Corpses heavily scattered throughout the streets, houses destroyed, it was a huge mess. We were going to have to put in a lot of work to get it up and running to how it was before. "I know you're all tired, but we at least need to start rebuilding the wall. We can do shifts." Rick said. He had large bags under his eyes. "I can take first shift and organize it. You need to be with Carl right now, Rick." I said wiping the sweat and blood from my forehead. He smiled and nodded, "Ok, figure out amongst yourselves who'll take first shift with Harper." He said to the group as some of them began walking off, the others looking to me.

"You heard Rick, let's get this going. We don't want the company of anymore walkers. We'll use the boards over there to stabilize the wall. Let's work quickly." I stretched my shoulders, my whole body ached. "Where do ya need me boss?" My heart raced as I turned around, "Oh my God, Daryl!" I threw my arms around him. "I thought you were fucking dead!" I said pulling away, cupping his face with my hands. I placed my lips to his, it felt like I hadn't kissed him for years. I wrapped my arms around his neck as our tongues collided. He pulled me close to him, our bodies as close as they could be to each other.

Someone cleared their throat, "Sorry!" I croaked as Daryl tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. "I guess we better get to work." I said walking towards the pile of wood, nearly falling. I hadn't caught my breath quite yet.

I caught Daryl up on what had happened here, as well as learned that Deanna had passed away. Jessie and her boys too, that's what that screaming was that had distracted the walkers and where the gunshot had come from. About four hours had passed and Rick came out, Daryl and I walked over to him.

"How's Carl?" Daryl asked. "He's doing real good. Denise has no doubt that he'll make a full recovery, and Harper, thank you for all of your help with him. You have no idea how much it means to me." I smiled at him, "How about we rotate now?" "That'd be great." I said, my voice hoarse. "Daryl, can I talk to you?" Rick asked. "Course, I'll swing by your place after, Harry." He said, a small smile on his face.

I got home and Aaron and Eric were heading out to help rebuild Alexandria. I showered, and God damn it had never felt so good. I crawled into bed and almost instantly fell asleep. I woke up briefly as Daryl crawled into bed next to me, placing his arms around me while I lay my head on his chest.

"Why didn't you save me?" I heard a voice echo. "Huh? Where am I?" I rubbed my eyes, adjusting them to darkness. "Why didn't you save me?" It was that guys' voice, the one with the "W" on his head. "I'm sorry, I-I…" "Don't come up with an excuse. Just tell me the truth." I could see the outline of his body and could smell rotting flesh. "Tell me!" He yelled as he rushed up to me so we were face to face. His eyes had been scratched out and his face half eaten. He still wore that disturbing smile of his. He wrapped his hands around my neck.

I shot up, breathing heavily, it was just a nightmare. I took a deep breath, "You ok?" Daryl rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Yeah, sorry I didn't mean to wake you up." I smiled at him. "I never got to hear what happened to you." I said cuddling up to him, calming down at his touch.

"I stopped at this place where the woods had been burnt down and got greeted by this guy with his wife and I think her sister? They took my stuff as well as me and wanted to get the girl insulin. I thought that they were maybe running from someone, which ended up bein' the case. Just one big shit show. The girl with diabetes died and then this huge truck came, lookin' for the two. I helped them get away from the group of men. Sounded like they were in a lot of trouble. They ended up takin' my bike after I had helped them. Bunch of ungrateful assholes. Found some big truck and ran into Abraham and Sasha. As we headed back we got stopped by this biker gang, demanding that we hand everything over to them or we'd be sorry. I blew those assholes up though. I wouldn't be surprised if they were from the same group that was looking for the two I was with before."

"That sounds terrible. I hope that we never run into them, they sound like bad news. I'm glad you're ok, Daryl. I was worried that you were hurt, or worse died." I whispered feeling a pit in my stomach. I looked out the window noticing that it was nighttime.

"I've gotta bad feeling, Harper. I think there's a large amount of those people out there, ready to take from others at any cost. Sucks to not know for sure." He said quietly. "Well, if they do mess with us they won't know what hit them." I ran my fingers over his chest lightly and looked up at him.

He softly placed his lips to mine, pulling me towards him. My heart raced as I ran my hands down his happy trail. A small groan left his lips as he positioned himself over me. His erection pushed into my pelvis causing me to gasp, "You ok?" He asked as he quickly pulled away with a worried look on his face. "Yeah." I smiled up at him as he nibbled at my neck. I sat up and slowly removed my shirt, trying to cover the horrendous scars that blanketed my body. I wanted Daryl and knew that he understood more than anyone what I had been through, but I still felt extremely self-conscious. I could feel my cheeks flush as I turned my head away from him shyly.

"Hey, you have nothin' to hide. You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, Harper." His voice was gentle as he placed his hands on my arms and slowly moved them away. He ran his hands across my scars and scattered kisses on my body. "You have nothing to be ashamed of." His thumb rubbed my cheek as our eyes met. I was so happy to have met him, someone with patience and compassion….someone who had taught me to love and accept love again. My heart swelled with happiness.

Our lips had met again and he tenderly massaged my breast as I leaned back, letting him take complete control. I helped him remove my pants, leaving me only in my underwear and I ran my hand beneath his briefs, causing him to breathe heavily. I grabbed his shaft and stroked it and I could feel his body vibrate. "Oh God…" He moaned on my lips, making my whole body feel weak. He took his sweats and briefs off while I pulled off my panties. "If you're not ready for this, I understand." He said, completely naked.

I looked at him, admiring his toned body, "I'm ready." I said breathily. I rubbed the tip of his dick on my clitoris, teasing it as we both let out small groans. I rubbed it between my wet lips and ready mound and he arched his back, causing a small smile to creep across my face. "Fuck, you're enjoying this, huh?" He chuckled as he tightly closed his eyes.

I nodded my head as I took all of him in, my walls tightening around his shaft as I slowly moved up and down. "Mmmm!" I dug my nails into his chest as I pleasurably rode him, throwing my head back. He ran his hands down my hips and rubbed my clitoris, intensifying the situation. "Oh my God, Daryl!" I grinded hard and deep into him and kissed him lustfully.

He rolled me onto my back, placing himself on top. I wrapped my legs around his waist which allowed me to take all of him. I curled my toes, feeling that I was going to climax any second. "God damn, Harper!" Daryl snarled as he thrusted forward, "I'm coming!" I said as my stomach started tingling and my limbs felt weak.

"Oh fuck!" He pulled out and came on my stomach as I tried catching my breath. I felt like I was in ecstasy….as if I was on another planet. I could feel him wipe my stomach as I gradually opened my eyes and faced him. I couldn't help but smile, in a weird way I felt like a new person….like I had moved on from the past.

I buried my face in my hands, "What?" Daryl asked as pinched my waist causing me to giggle. He lay over me, smiling as he pulled my hands away from my face. "Don't do that. You're beautiful." He smirked and eskimo kissed me. It felt like my heart was going to beat right out of my chest.

"How many people have you been with?" I looked over at him. "Sexually?" I nodded my head. "Maybe four or five? How about you?" He seemed kind of uncomfortable, I watched him as he looked up at the ceiling, not daring to look my direction. "You're my second." "Really?" He sounded surprised. "Yes! Don't sound so shocked." I chuckled. "You seem experienced….I-I guess." He said playing with his hands. "Can I be honest with you? I watched a good amount of porn." I laughed as my face turned bright red as he joined me, "No shit? I seriously wouldn't have guessed. You're a wild card, Harry. I love that about you." He intertwined his fingers with mine as he studied my face.

"What's the oldest woman you've ever been with?" His eyes grew wide, "Sorry! I'm just curious…word vomit I guess." "You're in quite the mood! Maybe five or six years older? I ain't really into older woman." I nodded my head as I traced his hand with my finger. "Well? Don't think I'll be the only one answering you're questions."

I looked at him, his eyes full of life. I hadn't seen him that way before. I ran my hand through my hair, "I mean, age isn't really anything other than a number, keep that in mind." I looked at him playfully and quickly mumbled "Maybefiffteenyears." "What? Did you say fifteen?" He asked, shocked. "Yes! I'm not positive though. I like older men, what can I say!" "Damn!" He shook his head. "Maybe I'm too young for ya, huh?" He wiggled his eyebrows and lightly elbowed me in the ribs. "Hey, we have what….ten years between us!" I said defensively. "True." He shrugged his shoulders in agreement.

I yawned as I lay against him feeling sleep come over me yet again. I rubbed my face into his arm and got comfortable with his hand placed on my waist. "I'm going out with Rick tomorrow, so don't be surprised if I'm gone when you're up." Daryl said softly. I nodded my head as I dozed off.

I woke up the next morning as the sun shone brightly through the window. I stretched and took my time getting out of bed and shuffled over to the bathroom, turning on the shower. As I washed my hair I thought about last night and couldn't help but smile. I was lucky to have Daryl in my life, someone so caring and understandable.

I grabbed a pair of light blue skinny jeans and paired it with a classic baseball t-shirt. It was coming to the warmer seasons so I figured I'd start out slowly. I threw my hair up into a messy bun and made my way downstairs, almost immediately running into Eric, who wore a large smile on his face. I could feel my cheeks burning red, knowing exactly what he was smiling about.

"W-what?" I stuttered as I walked around him to get into the kitchen. "It's all over your face, Harp….not to mention the noises you two were making last night." He joked as he leaned back, fanning his face. My eyes grew wide as I nearly dropped the eggs I had grabbed. "I'm so sorry!" I wished then that I could just shrivel up and die. "I'm happy for you. He's good for you, Harp, no need to be sorry." He smiled sincerely as I plated my scrambled eggs. "Thanks…that won't happen again. Seriously, I'm sorry." I sat down, looking out the window. It was amazing how far the place had already came.

"Hey, how are you?" Aaron asked as he walked into the kitchen. He probably heard everything last night too. This was so horrible. "Great! Think I'm going to head out to help!" I said cleaning my plate. "I was actually wondering if you'd go on a run with me for some supplies?" "Yeah, sounds good! I'll go to the weaponry and grab my things!" I said as I bolted out the door, "Meet you by the gates!" He yelled after me as I shut the door.

"Harper!" Maggie said jogging over to me. "What's up?" I asked as she joined my side. "I noticed Daryl didn't come home last night." She said tucking a stray piece of her hair behind her ear. Sweet Jesus, did everyone know? "So?" She asked excitedly. "Yes." I sighed as a huge smile took over my face. "It's about time! You guys make a great couple." She said as we entered the shed. "That is true." I shrugged my shoulders grabbing my gun and knife. "I have to go, I'll see you around!" I said as I walked towards Aaron. Maggie waved as I made it to the gate (and quite quickly at that).

Aaron and I had come upon a supermarket that was swarming with walkers. "You see that in there?" He handed me some binoculars as I peered through them seeing a large pallet stacked full with cans. "I think we can handle it." I said grabbing my knife as I stood up. "We'll stand back to back and take them out." I nodded as we went out, the smell of fresh flesh caused the walkers to come towards us.

I kicked one in the rotting knee causing it to fall to the ground and stepping on its fragile skull as it crunched under my boot. "You ok?" I yelled as my knife went through the next ones eye socket. "Fine!" I looked up noticing the next corpse was at least six-five. "Fuck." I mumbled looking for higher ground. I jumped up on a car and shoved my knife into the temple of his head.

Aaron smoothly took out a few walkers, as if it was a choreographed dance, and at that we were finished. I wiped the sweat from my forehead with the back of my arm as we went onto our next obstacle that is until we heard car doors shutting behind us.

My stomach dropped as I yet again came face to face with the handle bar moustache man, who this time had a few other men with him. "Wow, we didn't think you guys had it in ya! We had bets going and everything." He said laughing, slapping his knee, "But holy shit, you proved me wrong! You cleared it all out." He smiled looking straight at me. "Wait…have we met before?" He pointed at me, "Boys, I think I know this gal." He acted like he was putting a play on as he scratched his scalp that was scarce of hair. "Harper, am I right? I've always been told I'm good with names!" I gulped and did one swift nod of my head. "Do you remember my name, sweet heart?" He approached me, as he squatted, placing both his hands on his thighs and looking at me. Sweet heart….that's something Negan use to call me, or I guess every girl. "Simon." I said dryly. "That's right!" He jumped up. "We don't want any trouble." Aaron said calmly. "Well excuse me, can't you see I'm talkin' to this fine, young lady?" Simon asked as he placed a hand to his chest. "Let us leave. You can have the fucking food." I said quite calmly (even though my heart was racing). "Woah, no need to use that tone with me." He acted offended. "You see, me and my boys have been scoping this area out for a while now, I mean sure, we have the man power to do it and take care of it ourselves, but shit, is it fun to watch poor suckers go through this fucking maze every once in a while! It's free entertainment!" He said as he held his hands up, "But man, the show you two put on….wow! You guys are impressive, but you do realize this belongs to us?"

Man, was I angry. This guy was fucked up. I clenched my fists and subconsciously grinded my teeth. "Just fucking let us go. That shit is all yours." "Hey, no need to get bitter." He said as he motioned to his men who began unloading the pallet of food into their truck. "We sure could use the two of you at The Sanctuary, and let me just say the boss would love you!" Simon said as he circled me. "Leave her alone, please!" Aaron said causing him to almost stop immediately. "This your boyfriend? Isn't he a little old for you? If he has a chance with you, count me in! I'm next in line."

"Fuck off you giddy prick." I glared at him. "Careful with what you say, sweetie. I'm one powerful man." His demeanor changed quickly. "Simon, what in all fuckity fuck are you doing? Get your fucking ass back here!" A voice roared over the radio. Holy shit! That sounded like Negan. "Boss, just give me a-" "I don't have all fuckin' day Simon. If your ass isn't here in 30 minutes there will be fucking consequences." That was him, it had to be. "Yes sir, see you soon." I looked at him, shocked.

"You two are coming with me." He pointed a gun at us, carelessly. "What's wrong? Looks like you saw a fucking ghost!" Simon said as he took our weapons away and led us towards the back of the truck. All of a sudden there was screaming coming from the building. "Simon, Mark got bit!" One of the men said with the other slung over his shoulders. "We can amputate his-" "We don't have time for that, ok Ken?" He said as he quickly shot the one who had gotten bit. "Come on you two, gotta go before that shot draws more of those fuckers out!" He said pushing us.

"That was my fucking brother, Simon! He could have been saved!" "Quit your fucking bitching!" "Fuck you, fuck Ne-" Before he could finish Simon had shot him. I had taken the opportunity to knock him down and struggled to take his gun, "You do not want to do this, sweetie." He growled as the gun began to point towards me. "Leave us alone!" Aaron demanded as he pointed a gun at Simon who held his hands up. "Woah, cowboy." He chuckled as I took his gun. "Give us your keys." I said, "You're going to regret this." He warned. I shot the tip of his boot, "Fuck, ok, ok." He tossed the keys, "Should I kill him?" I asked Aaron as I grabbed them. "No, let's get the hell out of here."

"I'll see you two sooner or later, and when I do I'll make you fucking miserable!" He yelled as I turned the ignition. I held my middle finger out the window as we sped off. "There are a lot of those guys, Daryl said he had ran into their group not too long ago." I said, my hands shaking on the steering wheel. That was fucking Negan, had he turned into a monster? I shivered as I looked over at Aaron, "I hope to God they never find us, if there anything like that man then were fucked." He gulped, looking nervous.

First off, I had never heard Aaron swear and secondly I had never seen him be nervous. I didn't think that was an emotion he had. We drove the rest of the way in silence, taking the long way back to be sure that no one was following us. It was late in the evening when we arrived at Alexandria.

"Wow, this is great." Rick said as the gates closed behind us. "I need to talk to you." Aaron said placing his hand on Rick's shoulder, who looked quite confused. "Daryl!" I ran over to him, embracing him. "What happened?" He asked worriedly. I told him everything while we sat on the porch, the dark sky covered in stars. "Shit." He mumbled once I had finished. "We'll figure somethin' out. We're a strong group." He said reassuringly. "I hope so. I had never seen Aaron so worried." I rested my head on his shoulder, "How'd your run go?" "Complete shit show. We got some really good stuff but some asshole we bumped into had followed us, causing us to lose everything. And get this, he calls himself Jesus. Rick and I were able to finally get him, have him locked up." He said as he looked up at the sky.

I looked at him, "Jesus? Really?" He laughed, "That's all you got outta that story, huh?" "You know it." I said as I watched Eric approach us. "Hey! I have a surprise for you guys." He motioned for us to follow him. I looked at Daryl, shrugging my shoulders.

"Here we are!" We stood in front of one of the vacant houses. "Now, I'm not trying to rush anything and don't expect you two to move right in, and trust me, Aaron and I really don't want you leaving us, Harp." He said as we walked in, he had done some decorating, making the place feel homey. He kept rambling on about how it was just an idea. "Eric, stop." I said. "This is awesome and such a nice gesture. Thank you so much." I said hugging him. "I'll get adjusted here and once Daryl is ready-" "You kidding? You think you get to have this place to yourself? Think again, Harry." He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me closely to him.

This was mine and Daryl's place. I never once thought that I would be able to call a place home in the apocalypse, but I had been proven wrong, and damn it had never felt so good to be wrong. Alexandria had been through a lot in the past few days, but it was a place that I could picture myself actually settling down and finally starting a life.

***Let me know what you think of this story! It doesn't seem like many people are feeling this, so honest opinions are welcome! Thanks (:***


	17. Risk it All

"I totally understand if you're not ready to move in with each other." I said looking up at Daryl as we lay in bed. "This is what I want, Harper. You having second thoughts?" He asked as he lightly ran his fingers back and forth over my collar bone. "No! I definitely want this." I pushed my back up against his body, causing a small groan to leave his lips.

He placed is hand on my hip, running it up my shirt and gently massaging my breast and nibbling on my ear. I arched my back as I tugged at his briefs, feeling his erection push at my backside. He kicked them off as his lips made their way down my neck. I grabbed his erect dick, slowly stroking it as he moaned, causing my mound to get wet. I slid my shirt off, still having my back turned towards him and hungrily kissed his lips. He slid his hands underneath my panties, rubbing my mound as I moaned. "Wow, you're wet, Harp!" He whispered in my ear, causing the hair on my neck to stand up. "What can I say, it's just an effect you have on me." I said breathily as I grinded into him.

He pulled my underwear to the side and I could hear them tare. They were lacey and older so I wasn't surprised. "Shit, sorry!" He chuckled, "Just rip them off!" I demanded, I was growing impatient. He tore them as I bit my lip, ready for what was coming next. He rubbed his dick over my mound teasingly. "Please Daryl!" I gripped his arm tightly. I could feel him enter as I gasped as he began thrusting forward. I spread my legs, wanting to take all of him in as he cupped my breasts. "Mmmm, Daryl!" I moaned loudly while he panted. My walls tightened around his dick and I could already feel myself coming to climax.

I rolled on top of him, keeping him inside of me, my back to his chest as I ran my hands through his hair and kissed him as his pace quickened. "Harper, I'm going to come!" He grunted. "Me too!" I said in a dreamy state, I felt like I was floating. I got that tingling sensation in my stomach and could feel him become ridged and pulling out, coming all over my mound, which made me come even harder. "Holy fuck, Daryl!" I rubbed my clitoris with his sweet seed as juices flowed out of me.

I got off of him and rested my head on his chest, trying to catch my breath. "That was amazing." He said quietly as I nodded in agreement. It felt like my whole body was on fire as I came down from my high. Suddenly, there was a loud knock at the door. "I'll get it. Stay right there." Daryl said as he pulled some sweats on. I put a robe on and stood at the top of the stairs while he opened the door, "Sorry to bother you guys, but I just need some space from my dad." It was Carl with a backpack slung on his shoulder. "Can I stay with you guys? I know it's your first night and all but-" "Of course you can." I smiled at him, "Does you dad know you're here?" He shook his head, "I'll let him know." Daryl said putting his boots on while I tossed him a shirt. "Thanks guys, sorry." He looked down at his boots. "No need to be sorry, I have some chocolate chip cookies and milk in the kitchen." I said as I took his bag. "That sounds great!"

We sat at the dining table while he ate away, "Make any progress with Enid?" I asked resting my hands on the table. "Yeah, we actually talk a lot. She's a really cool girl. I don't think she really sees me as boyfriend material though." He looked at his cookie as he broke it in half. "Please, you're a bad ass Carl, any girl would be happy to have you." I smiled at him as his eye grew wide. "R-really? Thanks, Harper!" His cheeks flushed pink. "It's nice to be here and actually get to be a kid. I'm glad you guys brought us here…I don't know how much longer we would have lasted out there." He said pensively. He was mature beyond his years, and understandably.

"We're lucky to have you all here, and I'm glad you actually get to kick back and relax a bit. You guys deserve it, especially you and Judith." "What was your childhood like?" He crumpled up his napkin. "It was good. I had a real good dad, like you do…also a mom and sister. Grew up hunting, camping, hiking, fishing, all the good things." I looked at him, thoughtfully smiling. "That sounds nice. It's weird, thinking that all this will be the normal for Judith." He bit his lip and Daryl entered, "You got the ok, kid!" He grabbed a cookie taking a bite out of it. "Awesome, thanks!"

I showed Carl to his room and walked into mine, removing my robe and crawling into bed next to Daryl. "You crazy comin' into bed naked?" He said as he grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him, causing me to giggle. "Honestly, I had forgotten." I said placing my forehead to his. "What do you guys plan on doing with Jesus?" "He has his own group, The Hilltop I believe. We're takin' him back tomorrow and hope we can start trading with them. He seems like an ok guy." He looked up at the ceiling. "That'll be good for Alexandria, what are you thinking about?" I asked, stroking his cheek. "Those fuckin' guys…I know something bad is going to come out of it. I feel it in my gut and can't stop thinkin' about it." He sighed. "Me too." I whispered, "I think I know the leader, Daryl." He sat up in bed, "How?" "Negan. He was the man I ran into after I lost my family and who I was in a relationship before we got split up. I swore that was his voice on Simon's radio and before he killed one of his men he almost said Negan. I wish I was wrong, but I don't think I am." I said feeling anxious.

"Shit." Daryl mumbled, looking over at me while I bit down on my thumb nail. "You think you'd have any influence over him?" I shook my head, "He's stubborn. If he believes in something, he won't budge easily." "Was your relationship with him good?" He asked rather concerned. "Absolutely. He was great…something else, that's a sure thing." I said almost forgetting that this wasn't a thought. "B-But obviously not as great as you!" I placed my hand on Daryl's, a small smile spreading across his lips. "Maybe The Hilltop can be a new ally and if something does ever come about with The Saviors, then we may have a chance to take them out." Daryl said as he sighed. "I guess all we can really do right now is focus on the present." He nodded and we both fell asleep in each other's arms.

I woke up rather early, but didn't mind. I wanted to make breakfast for Carl and Daryl, so an early start didn't hurt. I got into the shower wetting my body and hair when I heard the door open. I peeked around the curtain and watched as Daryl removed his sweats, "No!" I said as I quickly shut it. "Come on, Harp!" He said as he joined me, "We can't do anything, I don't want to scar Carl for life. I was always disturbed as a child if I heard my parents having sex…I mean I'm not saying he's our ki-" "I get it." Daryl chuckled as he began washing his hair. "Move!" I needed to rinse my hair out, "They always make showering in the movies look so romantic, but that is obviously so false!" I complained as I squeezed by him as he laughed.

He took the bar of soap and began to lather my back, I quickly turned around, "Daryl, please!" I said as he began to massage my breasts, "I'm just helping you out!" He interjected as he worked his way down to my mound, a small gasp leaving my lips causing him to smirk. "O-ok, that's enough, your turn!" I said, flustered. I rinsed off and began scrubbing his back, he turned around, still sporting his morning woody. I bit my lip, grabbing his erect shaft, slowly going back and forth. "Oh fuck." He mumbled as he leaned back. I abruptly stopped, even though I wanted to go further, but couldn't give him the satisfaction. "Done." I smiled maliciously. "Come on, Harp!" He begged, embracing me as his dick slid between the lips of my wet mound. A moan left my lips as his met mine, our tongues dancing as I lifted my leg on the ledge of the bathtub. I was too far in, I couldn't resist him as he slid his dick into my mound.

I bit down on my lip with force, making sure that no sounds would escape my mouth. I wrapped my arms around Daryl's neck as he slowly went in and out, my whole body shuddering. He made soft grunting noises and tightly grabbed my hips. I ran my hands through his wet hair and pulled his face close to mine, our lips meeting yet again. He quickened the pace and I let out a small groan, feeling the warmth in my stomach begin to build.

"Fuck!" He said becoming ridged, I held onto him tightly, it felt like if I let go then I'd float away. "Oh my God, Daryl." I whispered, leaning against the wall, trying to catch my breath. "Damnit." "What?" I asked turning the water off and drying myself out. "I-I forgot to pull out…I'm so sorry Harp. I was caught up in the moment." My heart began racing, I did not want to bring a child into this world. It just seemed unfair. I could feel something warm running down my inner thigh and took a deep breath, "It's not your fault…it's both of ours. We should have been using protection. Hopefully we'll be able to dodge this bullet." I caressed his face and kissed him softly.

I got dressed and threw my hair up and got into the kitchen. I started to make some pancake batter and Daryl shortly joined me in the kitchen putting together some scrambled eggs. Carl came downstairs just as we were about finished, his hair disheveled and rubbing sleep from his eye. "Mornin', ya hungry kid?" Daryl asked plating up some pancakes. "Yes, these look delicious, thanks guys!" He smiled sleepily at us and we sat down and began eating.

Carl was a good kid. Rick and his wife had done a great job raising him, everyone enjoyed his company and I was really happy that I was getting to know him. He turned out just fine, so maybe it wouldn't be so terrible to have kids, at some point that is. I didn't feel ready now, but maybe in the future I could see myself having a few.

Carl had gone home and I walked with Daryl and Rick, to be introduced to the supposed Jesus. "He said that maybe we could strike up a deal with The Hilltops leader so get some extra supplies." Rick explained as we walked towards the empty houses. I nodded my head, "Why are you guys keeping him locked up? Do you think he's dangerous?" I asked as Rick unlocked the door. "No. He had plenty of times he could have tried killing us, just didn't want him wandering off. What the hell?" Rick said as we entered the house. No one was in it, there was some rope on the ground.

"Hey, I was wondering when you guys were going to come around." A man said as he walked down the stairs. He had a beard and long brown hair. He had strikingly beautiful blue eyes as well. "Hello! You're a new face, my name is Paul, but my friends call me Jesus because you know." He said pointing at his face. He really did look like Jesus. "My name is Harper, nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you." I smiled at him. "How'd you get out? I tied you up really well." Daryl looked at him in disbelief. "I guess I just have a way of escaping things, you guys ready?" He asked as he took a bite out of an apple.

Daryl and Rick looked at each other, baffled. Jesus must have been some type of escape artist, I was surprised that he hadn't left.

A group of us piled into a car, following Jesus' directions. It was odd that Rick had trusted him so much, but he truly did seem like a good guy. He seemed down to earth and to take things lightly. "Why didn't you leave?" I asked him from the backseat of the car. "I think we can help each other out. There's only so many good groups, you know?" He turned around smiling at me. "Do you guys have other groups that you work with?" I curiously asked. "Yes, only on though. Take a right here! Just keep following this road and we'll be there in about fifteen minutes."

It would be good to have contact and the resources of another group. I just hoped that we would all get along. I held onto Daryl's hand and he smiled at me, calming my nerves a bit. We abruptly stopped, arriving at a large, gated area. Once in we got out, their set up was quite nice. They had what looked like a welding area, large gardens, and housing. "Hey, Dr. Carson!" "Jesus, it's good to see that you've made it back." The man said smiling.

We walked a small incline towards a large mansion, "If you all want to strike up a deal with Gregory, I'd suggest you send one of the women. He responds better to the opposite sex." "I'll do it." Maggie quickly volunteered. "Perfect. Let me prep him before I introduce you all. Let me warn you, he can be quite difficult to deal with."

Maggie went to talk with Gregory, leaving us down stairs. I looked at the place in awe. It must have been some historical house. The structure was beautiful as well as the paintings. "It really is amazing, huh?" Jesus said, joining my side. "You know, sometimes I forget to take in the beauty of this place. I think we all take it for granted." He smiled over at me as I nodded my head in agreement.

I watched Rick pace as he waited impatiently for Maggie. "You ok?" I asked him. "Yeah. I just hope they're not trying to pull something on us, since we don't have our weapons and all. We're vulnerable. I hate feeling that way." "Everything will turn out fine. Just look at the hell we recently dealt with in Alexandria. We're a group to watch out for." I said reassuringly. "True." Rick wore a small smile on his face.

Maggie exited, telling us that about the deal that was discussed, "They'll give us a lot of food, which we desperately need if we kill The Saviors. I think we can do it." She said as my heart dropped to the bottom of my stomach. "Murder?" Rick spat. "They're horrible people Rick, sooner or later they will find you guys and torture you all." Jesus said. "Harp and I ran into them, nasty men." Aaron added.

My heart began racing, "We can't just go murdering people. That's not how we work. How will we live with ourselves?" I said, knowing that very well, Rick was going to accept the deal. "Any other ideas then? I believe Jesus. We can't take another beating, Harper. We'll lose everything we worked so hard for."

"What's the leaders' name?" I asked, turning to Maggie. "Negan. He's the man we're going to have to take down." My breathing became rapid, "I know him. I was with him in the beginning. Let me try talking to him." "No! Even you said he wouldn't listen." Daryl stood next to me. "If it doesn't go down smoothly, then we do what we need to do." I said, shakily.

Rick rubbed his beard, pensively. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked me. "Yes." "Rick, that's crazy, we can't lose Harp, c'mon!" Daryl said, protectively, as he looked at Aaron. "It wouldn't be fair to just have Harper go. Who knows how this man has changed, Harp." "I'm doing it, for our group. No more questions asked." I stated, looking over at Rick as he nodded his head.

What the hell was I getting myself into? I had no idea, I just hoped to God that this would all work.


	18. In the Morning I'll be With You

"How do you plan on going about this?" Gregory asked me as my palms sweated. "How do you guys communicate with him normally?" He scoffed, "You expect me to put my people at risk? This was not the deal that Margie and I discussed. He normally sends his people. He's far too important to deal with the simplicities of collection of food. What makes you think you can change his mind, dear?" He smiled maliciously at me. I wanted to punch this fucker square in the face. "Sir, Harper and Negan knew each other at the beginning of this all and were close. They were separated at some point, but she was very dear to him." Jesus interjected.

He narrowed his eyes at me, as if he were suspicious, "You really believe her, Jesus? If anything happens, then I'll pin this all on you." Fucking pussy, and if it goes great, he'll take all the credit. "You know what, for-" "Yes, I do. I'll take full responsibility." Jesus interrupted, giving me a warning look. "Fine. Do what you need to do." Gregory said waving us off. "Thank you, sir." Jesus said bowing his head as I rolled my eyes.

"How do you deal with someone like that? Especially if their leading you? If Rick was like that, I think I'd kill him!" I said as Jesus and I joined the others. He chuckled, "Gregory is a special breed, but you get use to him." "So?" Daryl asked nervously as we approached. "He ok'd it." I gulped as everyone looked at me as if I was going to die at any moment. Daryl shook his head, "This is crazy Harp, I don't want you doin' this….if somethin' was to happen to you I don't know what I'd do." He placed both hands on my shoulders, looking me directly in the eyes. "It's for the good of the group. I have to do it, I'm sorry Daryl." I said running my hand across his face.

"How do we go about contacting Negan?" Rick asked, his voice harsh. "I know where they live. Just let me know when you're ready and I can lead you there." Jesus said. "I'll leave tomorrow. I want to go alone-" "Hell no!" Daryl spat. "Yes." I said with a clenched jaw. "God dammit, Harp!" He roared as he walked off. Just shake it off, I took a deep breath, "Is it ok if I stay here tonight?" "Of course. Gregory doesn't need to know though." Jesus smiled at me. "We'll all stay, gotta come up with a plan." Rick said as everyone nodded.

I looked over at Daryl as he paced like a caged tiger, my heart ached for him…but he needed to understand the situation. "There's an empty train cargo over here. Fully furnished, if you guys don't mind sharing that?" We followed Jesus, "That should be fine." Rick said, "Come on!" He motioned to Daryl, who shook his head and sighed. The sun was setting and I began counting down the hours to my possible demise.

"So, what's the plan, Harp?" Rick asked as we sat in a circle. "Jesus was telling me that the place is well protected and I'll have to get through a few people to get to Negan. It'll be risky, but I figure I'll just walk up and ask to speak with him?" I looked around as everyone looked at me like I was crazy. "What are your guys' ideas? That's the best I can come up with! If I try to break in, I'll be fucked." "How about you set yourself up for being found by them and then they'll present you to him? Shit, I don't know." Rick mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"No!" Jesus quickly said. "They're not good people. I think presenting yourself is the best option, unfortunately. I'll hide and watch you, if things get messy then I'll let the others know." He looked at me empathetically as I nodded. I felt sick to my stomach, why had I volunteered to do this? "I need to get some air." I said, getting up and walking out. I climbed to the top of the roof (of the train cargo, of course) and lay down looking up at the sky that was full of stars. "Can I join ya?" Daryl asked, "Of course." I smiled over at him as he lay next to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"Sorry for makin' such a big deal of everything. It's just….I really care about you Harp. I love you." He rested his chin on the top of my head, my heart racing. "I love you too." I said quietly, "I just need to do this, ok? Please don't follow me there, or if anything happens don't put yourself in danger, ok? Promise me." I looked up at him as he held his tongue. "Daryl." I begged. "I promise." He placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"You ready?" Jesus asked me as I looked back at my group. "Yes. Ready as I'll ever be." I had already said my good byes, and God was it hard. I took a deep breath, "Lead the way, oh holy one." I teased as Jesus smiled over at me. "This will take a few hours, so isn't too bad of a trek. I like to keep on foot since it's easier to be unseen." He said as we walked through the woods. "That's understandable." I said ducking under a branch. "You know, you're probably one of the bravest people I've ever met." My cheeks flushed pink, "I feel like anyone who has survived through all of this is pretty brave…but thank you."

We walked for a few hours, running into a few walkers here and there. "This is where we part ways." Jesus said, "Good luck." He held his hand out and I shook it. I emerged from the woods to see a large factory with a lot of chain link fence around it. Within some of it were walkers, they had one hell of a set up. I walked towards it as I began to breathe rapidly. What if they didn't believe me and just killed me right away? What a shit way to die after everything I've been through. "Hey, you! Stop right there young lady!" A man yelled as he pointed his gun at me. I held my hands up, "State your business, missy!" He said, his voice rough. "I want to talk to Negan!" I said, trying to control my voice. "Ha! You hear that Elroy? Girl think she can just march up and ask for the boss." The other man and him began to laugh uncontrollably. "We worked with each other when this all broke out. We were close!" Anger started building up inside of me. I knew I had to keep my cool though.

"Well, is that so? That changes everything then!" He said, theatrically. "I can see right through bull shit, young lady!" He hackled. "Tell him Harper wants to speak with him!" "This is the most I've laughed in I don't know how long!" He cackled loudly as spit flew out of his filthy mouth. "Fine, I'm out of here." I rolled my eyes. "Now, stop right there. We can't let you leave, 'specially if you say you know the boss." He jumped down from his post and walked towards me. It felt like my heart was going to leap out of my mouth.

He roughly grabbed my arm, "Well put ya in a holding cell. Damn, you're a pretty little thing." He ran his tongue over his rotting teeth as we walked by stakes that had impaled walkers. "Who's that?" A man asked as we got close to entering the large building. "Says she knows Negan." "I'll take her off your hands, you're supposed to be on lookout." He said, finishing up a sandwich he was eating. "Now, come on Dwight!" The man complained. "Now, Jax!" He snarled. "Fine!" He pushed me towards Dwight, as I nearly fell. "Dwight!" I was surprised, he was barely recognizable. He had grown his hair out and half of his face was mutilated. He scowled at me, I probably looked like a stranger to him. "Who the hell are you?" He asked as he began dragging me. "Harper! I was with you guys in the beginning." He rolled his eyes, "Did Negan do that to your face?" "Enough, questions! If you're lying, there's a high chance of your brains being turned into ground beef." Dwight said as he roughly threw me into a cell. "He'll be back sometime tonight, make yourself comfortable." He snarled as he shut the door. It was completely dark. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. This was a huge mistake, it felt like I was in Lord of the Flies, where anything could go.

I laid down on the cold, concrete floor and closed my eyes. Wishing I was at home with Daryl, instead of here. I had dozed off but was awoken to the sound of jingling keys. This was it, I braced myself. "Hello!" It was that creep Rex. "What the fuck do you want?" I asked, defensively as I stood up. "You know very well." He smirked, as he turned on a flashlight and the door behind him closed. "Come here, girlie!" He reached his hands out. "Fuck off, you creep!" I yelled. "No one can hear ya! Now, come here!" He said as he grabbed me by my hair.

He was a smaller/older man who seemed fragile. I kicked him hard in the knee and heard a loud snap, "Fuck I think you broke my knee, you slut!" He howled as he fell to the ground, the keys flying out of his pocket. "You're going to be in big trouble!" He threatened as he scrambled for the keys. I stomped on his hand and he screamed. "You bitch!" He then grabbed a knife from his pocket, which I quickly kicked out of his hand. I grabbed the flashlight as he yelled profanities at me. He was trying to find the knife. I took the end of it and hit him in the temple of the head, hard. He slowed down and I continued to beat him with the flashlight until he lay there, lifeless.

"What the fuck happened here?" It was Negan! I panted and could feel blood running down my face. He opened the door and looked at me startled, "Bunny? Ho-ly shit, it's my fuckin' girl!"


	19. You Don't Know What it Means to Me

He offered me his hand and I reluctantly grabbed it, "Let's get you cleaned up, sweetheart. I knew that guy was a fucking creep, you can clean up at my place." I was shaking from the event, it brought back a lot of bad memories. "You ok?" He asked, placing a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump. "Hey, you're ok, you're with me now." He put his arm around me, which calmed me down almost immediately. He still had the same effect on me.

We entered his place, which was very nice and he showed me to the shower, "We'll talk once you get cleaned up." I scrubbed my whole body, wanting to get the scum off from that sick pervert. My skin began to turn red.

I dried off and put some clothes on that Negan had grabbed. I walked out, joining him on the couch as I dried my hair with a towel. "Where the fuck have you been? I think about you every fucking day, bunny. And the night I lost you…that replays in my head every night. I should have been able to fucking save you!" He growled as he hit his knee.

I watched him, noticing that his peppered hair was slicked back and he had some stubble and sported a leather jacket. He was very handsome and had somehow gotten more attractive with age. I bit my lip, looking up at him, our eyes meeting and memories quickly rushing back.

"Your face and you're fucking arms." He sat closely to me, running his rough hands over my scars. I was on the verge of tears, "They fucking did this to you? I swear, I fucking searched for you for fucking months. I'm so fucking sorry." He embraced me, I felt like I was finally home. I wrapped my arms around his neck as I began bawling like a baby.

"I'll never let you out of my fucking sight again, bunny." He whispered in my ear. I pulled away, "What's the fucking chances of this all? I'd say it's fucking fate." I rubbed my arm uncomfortably. "After being with those men I ran into another group. Their like my family, Negan. I can't just leave them." He looked at me in disbelief, "Well why the fuck are you here then?" He was upset as he got up and paced the room.

"To strike up a deal." I wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Excuse fucking me? I'm the only person who makes fuckin' deals, darlin'!" He said as he pointed at his chest. He was angry at me and felt betrayed. "Who the fuck sent you? The fucking audacity of that asshole! Must have some beach ball sized nuts!" He grinded his teeth. This was not going well.

"It was my idea." He stopped, "Well, of course it was. Do you take me as fucking weak? Cause sweetheart, I'm sure as hell not. Did you even fucking miss me?" He looked at me, with sad eyes, causing my heart to ache. "Yes! I thought….think of you every day as well. You were my first everything Negan, you're special to me." I walked towards him as he scowled at me, "You're just fucking bullshitting me! Breakin' my fucking heart, doll." He rubbed his forehead.

"Negan." I said softly, "Just fucking tell me why you came here. This is obviously only business to you." He said coldly. "That's not true. A lot of time has passed, there's no way for things to be the same." "Just fucking spit it out." He sat, staring me down. I sighed, this obviously wasn't going to work, why did I think that I could pursue him?

I opened my mouth to speak, but the room began spinning and I became short of breath. "You ok, bunny? You're as pale as a…oh shit!" Everything went black.

"Is she going to be fucking ok, doc?" Negan demanded as I slowly opened my eyes, "Yes. I believe that this was all caused by stress." "Harper!" Negan pushed the doctor aside and grabbed my hand. "Scared the fucking shit out of me, bunny!" He exclaimed as he took my hand and placed it against his face. It felt like lava was running through my veins….I still had feelings for him, shit.

"What happened?" I asked, my voice hoarse. "You passed out." The doctor handed me a glass of water as I drank it in one sip. "You've been out for a few hours. I'm Dr. Carson by the way." He smiled at me, "Nice to meet you, thank you for saving me." I sat up, feeling light headed. "I advise you wait at least one day till travel." "My people will be wondering where I'm at." I looked over at Negan as his expression quickly hardened.

"Do they have a fucking radio? We can try reaching them. I don't want them to attack this fucking place, thinking I'm holding you fucking hostage." He said as he grinded his teeth. "They do!" Eugene had put together an old one and had been trying to reach people, he'd try for hours so it was worth a shot.

"Here." Negan handed me a radio, his demeanor had totally changed. He was such a baby. "Hello? Hello? Eugene? This is Harper, are you there?" Nothing but static. I sighed, falling back on my bed. "Eugene!" I yelled, as if that would help. "Harper? Is that you?" My heart began racing, what were the chances? "Are you ok?" "Yes! I fainted and need to stay here for the night. Please let everyone know I'm ok!" I looked over at Negan who had his arms crossed. "Will do. I can have a vehicle come get you tomorrow, if that's ok with the man in charge."

Negan snatched the radio from my hands, "I want to meet your fucking leader. Have him come and I'll be sure Harper makes it out safely. Do you know where that old fucking southern bar is?" "Sugar Foot?" "Yeah, that one. I'll meet that asshole tomorrow at ten in the morning. If he's fucking late, there will be consequences." His voice boomed over the radio. "O-okay."

Negan sighed and looked over at me, "I want you to stay here with me. Make a new life." He searched my eyes for an answer, I was unsure of what to say. "Negan, there's a situation-" Dwight walked in, "God fucking dammit, Dwight! Can't you see I'm fucking busy?" Dwight's eyes grew large as he cowered back. Negan had destroyed him. "Sorry, but-" "Fuck, I'm coming, I'm coming. Doc, make sure she makes it safely to my room. I want her to be as comfortable as possible." Dr. Carson nodded as Negan swiftly left.

I laid on the couch, which was pretty comfy and looked up at the ceiling. Why did I still have feelings for him? Maybe because he was my first? He's such a fucking asshole too, but I want him .bad. I bit my lip at the thought of him.

He walked through the door and had a tray of food in hand. "Darlin', you're supposed to be in bed." He said as he placed down what looked like French toast. "I didn't want to invade your space. You remembered!" I said as I dug in, causing him to laugh. "I don't want to talk about the fucking deal till I talk to the fucking leader, ok? I've had enough for today." I nodded my head as I stuffed my face. "Fuck, I forgot how fucking gorgeous you were?" I could feel my face turn red and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Drives me fucking crazy when you do that." He growled, causing my stomach to tingle.

He ran a thumb over the scar on my cheek, "I can't believe those assholes scarred you for life. I can't fucking forgive myself for loosing you." He buried his face into my chest as I stroked his head. "Everything happens for a reason. It made me stronger." He looked up at me as a few tears ran down his face, he was being so vulnerable. I never thought that I would see him cry. "You're so fucking perfect." He whispered placing his forehead to mine. This felt right, yet so wrong. I wanted to stay loyal to Daryl.

I pulled away, "We better get some sleep." "Yeah, you coming to bed with me?" He asked eagerly. I shook my head, "I have a serious boyfriend." I said quietly, looking down at my hands. He grunted angrily, "You take the fucking bed then." "No, I'm-" "Take the God damn bed, Harper!" "Fine." I said as I got up, not wanting to argue.

I looked at him one last time before closing the door as he kicked off his boots and removed his jacket. He was such a hot head. He had never learned how to control his temper. I shut the door, crawling into the softest bed I had slept in in a long time. He had to be in control of everything, it was his way or the highway. He had a lot of issues….but doesn't everyone?

I tossed and turned, with Negan on my mind almost all night, until I fell asleep around four. "Bunny, wake up, we need to go soon." He said, his voice soft. I slowly opened my eyes and smiled at him, "Is that sausage I smell?" He nodded his head, "Got a big breakfast for the road ahead!" "You spoil me, you know that? Can I take a quick shower?" He chuckled, "Of course, sweet heart."

I got out of the shower and quickly got dressed, ready to devour breakfast. "What's the problem, darling?" Negan was speaking to Sherry. "Harper? Oh my God!" She looked over at me, smiling. "Let's take this outside." He looked at me. She nodded as she waved. Weird, what are they talking about? I thought as I began eating. I could hear them outside of the door.

"Amber has been having a hard time adjusting. I'm worried about her." "She made the decision to fucking marry me. I didn't force her into anything." Marriage? What the fuck? Why hadn't he mentioned that? "The other wives and I-" "Doll, listen. She can get out of this whole fucking thing anytime." Oh my God. Wives? Had his head gotten that big? What a fucking chauvinist!

"Ready to go, bunny?" I nodded my head, too upset to talk. "You ok?" "I'm fine, thanks. Let's go." I said, I couldn't even look at him. I didn't want to bring it up, thinking that it could ruin our chances of making a deal. I took a deep breath, I'd be home soon.

"Why are you so fucking quiet?" He asked as we drove to our destination. "I'm just tired." I lied as I watched the trees turn into a blur. He shrugged his shoulders, "So what's your fucking amazing group like?" I rolled my eyes, knowing that his were focused on the road. "They're nice people and it's a good, strong community." "Huh. And how about your fucking boyfriend? Does he fuck better than me?" I chewed on my nail, shaking my head as he lightly laughed, "Just fucking with you, bunny." No he wasn't, he was poking in prodding, in hopes of starting an argument.

"Here we are. Holy shit, that guy looks like a fucking cowboy from those old fucking western films!" He said, watching Rick, "And that guy looks fucking homeless!" Daryl! He was leaning up against his motorcycle. I was so glad to see him. We jumped out and I ran over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "You ok, Harp?" He pulled away looking at me concerned. "Yes, I'm just so happy to see you, you have no idea!" I pecked him on the lips.

"Aww, what a sweet fucking family reunion! That's your fucking boyfriend, doll? Shit, I'd say you downgraded from me!" He slapped the back of his truck, opening it and Simon and a few others came out. Of course he'd pull that kind of shit. "You've got somethin' to say?" Daryl asked, standing in front of me. Negan gregariously laughed, "Shit, you got some balls on you boy! You know who I am? 'Cause I'm pretty sure you fucking do!" He swung Lucille around. "You going to introduce us, bunny?" He looked over at me, raising his eyebrows and running his tongue over his pearly whites.

"Rick, this is Negan. Negan Rick." Rick nodded at him, "And who the fuck are you?" He asked, narrowing his eyes at Daryl. "Daryl." "Shit, I'm still willing to take you back, sweet heart. This guy is not your type!" He said as he began to pace. "Let's get to why we're really here." Rick said, his voice rough.

"Well shit, excuse me! I didn't know you were in charge of this whole fucking thing!" He said leaning back as his men laughed behind him. "You sent out _my_ fucking girl to persuade _me_ into some type of fucking trade for you and the hill top? That's a pussy move, my friend." "I volunteered!" "No. You do not get to talk, doll!" He growled, pointing that damned bat at me. "This is between me and Rick the fucking prick! I like that…what do you think?" He asked standing face to face with Rick, who clenched his fists. "Can't we come up with some type of deal?" He was trying to stay composed, but that wouldn't last long.

"There's only one way this will work. I want Harper to stay with me and I'll leave you guys and your shit the fuck alone! If you don't accept this deal, there will be hell to pay." He said matter of fact as my heart dropped. "There's no way!" Daryl snarled. "I advise you to shut the fuck up!" Negan barked at him. "Negan…" Rick began, "That's the only fucking way Rick! I want my fucking girl back." I could feel tears build up. If he didn't take this deal then a lot of people would be hurt, or worse killed. Rick shook his head, "I can't…" "I'll do it." I said stepping forward. "No!" Daryl put his arm in front of me as I lowered it. "It's for the best." I looked at Daryl as tears cascaded down my face.

Negan began laughing "Fucking pussy, Harper once again had to take one for the team!" What a sick, narcissistic asshole. "I love you Daryl, I'm so sorry. This was a terrible idea." I kissed him on the lips one last time. "You can't do this Harp, I love you!" "Get you fucking ass over here, Harper!" Negan demanded as I hung my head down and hesitantly walked towards my new group. I felt sick to my stomach. "You can't let this happen Rick!" Daryl yelled at him. Rick walked towards Negan, "No! This is fucking over! If you take one more step, I'll bash your fucking brains in!" Negan's voice boomed as I winced. "I'm so sorry, Harp." Rick whispered. "It's not your fault, it's my ch-choice." I said, choking on my words.

I got into the car and leaned out the window, "Any of you fucking move and I'll have my men shoot you!" Tears ran down Daryl's face and Rick looked disappointed. This was it, I would never see them again. I was stuck with a man I once loved, but now loathed.


	20. Now I've Gone and Thrown it All Away

I vomited as I watched my breakfast coat the side of the truck. "Yuck, control yourself, girl!" Simon said as he scrunched his nose. "You ok, doll?" Negan asked, genuinely concerned, which I thought was disgusting. I looked over at him, wiping the vomit from my mouth. "What do you think? You took me away from my people." I spat. "That was temporary living, bunny. You're where you're supposed to be now." He said staring ahead.

"I can't believe you were sleeping with that fucker! Creepy looking dude." I glared at him, hate burning in my eyes, "Fuck you." I stated. "What the fuck did you say?" He asked as we pulled up to The Sanctuary. "Kid, let me out. I don't want to get in the middle of this." Simon said as I slid out.

Negan got out, slamming his door and standing in front of me. "You heard me, fuck you. Do you need me to spell it out for you?" I snarled at him. "You do not fucking talk to me like that!" He growled as he lunged forward at me. "I don't want to be here, Negan. You have wives! Why do you need me? I thought I knew you, but God was I ever wrong!" I started to cry, again.

"They're just for fucking, that's it! It's physical, nothing more. With you it's fucking different." He looked at me, searching my eyes. "That's disgusting! I don't want to be with you. Ok? I'll follow whatever rules you have implemented in this hell hole, but I want nothing to do with you. You're a fucking monster, Negan!" He looked at me, I had hurt him. Good. "Dwight! Take Harper to the fucking cell to cool off. Once you calm down, we'll fucking talk!" He said pointing a finger in my face.

I spat at him, hitting him straight in the eye, "Fuck!" He roared, "Dwight, get her out of my fucking sight NOW!" He ran over, grabbing me as I began to sob. I threw me into a cell, "I'm sorry." He whispered. I threw up until there was nothing in my stomach. This was hell. I wanted to be back in Alexandria with Daryl, but that was all in the past unfortunately.

A few days had passed and I hadn't eaten any of the food they had offered me. I didn't want to give in. I had been through worse. The door opened and I lifted up my arm to protect my eyes from the harsh light. "You ready to talk, darling?" "Fuck you!" I said as my voice cracked. He lightly chuckled, "You are a fucking hard ass, you know that? I will fucking break you." He slammed the door. Maybe this would be where I would die?

I laid on the floor, looking into the darkness as my stomach grumbled loudly. "Harper? Are you ok?" I shot up from a deep sleep. "Sherry?" I whispered. "I'll get you out of here, ok? I gotta go!" I could hear heels clicking away. How long had I fallen asleep? "Ok, Harper. This has to fucking end." Negan said grabbing my arm and pulling me up. I nearly fell over since I was so weak. "You smell like shit!" He stated. "I completely agree with you." I said as everything was spinning. I began laughing, was I losing it? "What the fuck is so funny? Are you having a fucking mental break down? Holy shit, I've broken you." He said, concerned.

"Can I take a shower, kind sir?" "How about a bath?" We were walking towards his place. "Sure, why not." "I'll get you something to eat as well." He said as he started the water. I peeled my clothes off and slid in, it felt nice and warm. "Harper! For fucks sake, wake up!" I opened my eyes, "I just dozed off, silly! Ooo a sandwich!" I sat up and grabbing it, sinking my teeth into it. "Fuck. Is there anywhere those assholes didn't fucking scar you?" "Nope! I'm a fucking mess, but what can ya do?"

After I had eaten, I was starting to feel more normal. I changed into some sweats and crawled into Negan's bed. "This feels like Heaven!" I said spreading out as he looked at me from the corner of his eye, smirking. "What are you smiling about?" I asked, laying on my side. "Just happy to have you back, bunny. You have no idea how fucking happy I am." He laid next to me, tracing his hand lightly over my hip, causing electricity to course through my body. It felt like time hadn't passed between us at all. He bit his lower lip as he pulled me close to him, our bodies inches apart.

This was so wrong, I loved Daryl and needed to stay faithful to him. Negan had an effect on me and when I was around him I felt like I was in a trance. I had to stay on my toes when I was with him, otherwise he could take total control of me.

I felt my cheeks flush pink and looked down, "God fucking dammit, doll." He purred taking his other hand and lifting my chin, causing me to look him directly in the eyes. I ran my tongue over my teeth as he leaned into me, I could feel his breath on my lips. "I-I better get some rest. I'll sleep on the couch tonight." I shot up, feeling quite hot and bothered.

"Come on, bunny. Stay with me, please. I'll give you your space, ok? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He slid his shirt off, revealing his slender figure, his body scattered in tattoos. Was he trying to seduce me? Because he was pretty damn close to it working. I sighed, running my hand through my hair, "I have a boyfriend, y-you know that." He shook his head, "Fine. I'll sleep on the fucking couch again." He got up and hit his shoulder into mine.

"Ugh!" I got into the bed, pulling the covers over my head, like a child hiding from monsters that live under the bed. Why did I still have feelings for him? This wasn't right and only made things more complicated. I dozed off and went into a deep sleep.

I sat up in bed and slipped out, suddenly feeling nauseous. I ran to the toilet and vomited. What was wrong with me? I thought as I washed my face. I put some clothes on and walked out to Negan sitting at the dining table looking over some papers. "Morning, bunny. You sleep ok?" He asked looking up at me. "Yeah, thanks. So, what can I do to help around here?" I asked sitting down. "Whatever sounds good to you, doll." He seemed distracted. I nodded my head, "Ok if I go out and look around?" "Yup, just don't try and fucking leave." He threatened.

I walked around the large establishment which was well developed. I looked up nearly walking into a group of women, "Sorry!" I said, startled. "Harper!" Sherry embraced me, "It's so nice to see a familiar face." She smiled at me. "So this is Negan's special lady!" A girl with bright red hair said. "N-no!" I rubbed my arm awkwardly. "Harper, this is Tanya and Frankie, there's a few more of us upstairs if you want to hang out with us for a bit?" She asked. "Sure! So, how many wives does Negan have?" I asked as we walked up a few level of stairs. "Four, Amber is upstairs….she's been having a hard time adjusting." Sherry said as we entered a lavished room.

"Wow." I whispered looking around. "Did Negan decorate this room too? It's similar to his." "What? He let you into his room? We've never been! You must be something special." Tanya said in awe. "We just knew each other before the apocalypse, no big deal." Sherry pat the chair next to her as I sat down. "Were you guys a thing?" Frankie asked. "Y-yeah. Honestly, he was my first everything." I said quietly. "No fucking way!" Tanya exclaimed, "A girl as sexy as you? I highly doubt that." I blushed. "What's he really like?" Frankie sat on the ground crossing her legs.

"I really don't know anymore….before he was vulgar, but funny and a good, strong leader. He also has a soft side-" "Mm-mm." Negan cleared his voice and was standing in the doorway. "Ladies….Harper." He looked over at me with narrowed eyes. "I found a place I think you'd fit in with your medical background and all." He said as he held a hand out to help me stand up. "Don't take her away, she was telling us stories!" Tanya pleaded, "Don't worry, there will be more of bun-I mean H-Harper." He ran a hand through his hair as the girls smiled at each other.

We walked down the hall, "Don't tell them anything about me. I need to keep up a certain appearance." He said as he nodded at a few people. "Ok. So, will I be working with Dr. Carson?" I asked as he lightly brushed his hand over mine. "Yes, we've been short on medical staff, so you'll be perfect." He smiled at me as he opened the door, "After you."

Dr. Carson was eating lunch, some type of soup. I immediately felt sick and grabbed a nearby garbage can and threw up. "Sorry! My stomach has been sensitive, lately. Probably some bug." I smiled. "You're in good hands, Harp. Let me know if you need anything." "Thanks." I smiled at him as he left the room.

"So, Negan told you were almost done with vet school before this whole thing broke out?" "Yes, and I helped out at the clinic at my last place." "Perfect, can you start today….how about now?" He looked at his clock. "Sure!" I said, excited to be somewhat useful. I threw on some baggy scrubs and was thrown into work.

There was nothing too serious, just suturing here and there, placing bandaging and assisting Dr. Carson. "Wow, it's so cool you guys have ultra sound!" I said as we watched a baby kick in a woman's stomach. "Yes, we are quite proud of it. Ellen, your baby looks perfectly healthy!"

Evening had come around and I still wasn't able to stomach anything. "I hate to ask, but do you think you might be pregnant?" Dr. Carson asked. My heart began racing, my period hadn't come yet and was a few days late and Daryl and I had that scare. I could feel the color flush out of my face. "Y-you might be right. Oh my God." "I say take a pregnancy test in about a week. You'll be in good hands." He placed his hand on mine and smiled warmly at me. "Please don't tell Negan." I said quietly. "Doctor-patient confidentiality." He winked at me.

"If you don't mind I'm going to take a few hours off, you are well equipped to handle things on your own. I haven't had someone to help in I don't know how long." He got up, "Ok, sounds good!" "If you need anything, feel free to wake me." "Will do!"

The night was uneventful, which was good I suppose. Dr. Carson had come back and I was relieved. I went back to Negan's and he had dinner ready. "Hey, bunny! How was your first day?" "Good, I'm just really tired. How was your day?" I asked sitting down and eating. I was starving since I had nothing all day. "Fucking good. Got a lot of shit done." "Nice." I was too tired to converse, and I was thinking about possibly being pregnant. How horrible would that be?

"I'll do the dishes." I volunteered as I grabbed his empty plate, "Doll, you look tired. Get cleaned up and got to bed." He said. Why was he being so nice? He was trying to win me back was all I could think. "Thank you, and I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, no objections, sir!" I said, as I shuffled towards the bathroom. "Okay, okay. You fucking win this time." He smirked at me causing butterflies to flutter in my stomach.

I was getting comfortable on the couch while Negan finished up some more paperwork. The sound was calming, honestly. "Bunny?" "Hm?" I asked in a sleepy state. "Are you miserable here? With me?" He looked at me, his eyes soft. "I just have to get used to it, which will be hard. But I'll get there." I grabbed his hand that was resting on the couch and caressed it. "I want you to be fucking happy." "Well there's really only one way that'll happen." "Which isn't a fucking option." He pulled his hand away, cutting off the conversation. "Night." He slammed his door.

A week had past and I sat in the communal toilet, tapping my toe, waiting for the results of my pregnancy test. Please, please let this be nothing! I looked up as I began pacing. Time was up and I looked down. Fucking positive. My heart dropped and I sat on the toilet and began bawling. This was just fucking great.

I wiped the tears away and splashed cold water on my face, looking into the mirror at my puffy, red eyes. "Fuck!" I yelled as it echoed and without thinking I punched the mirror and it shattered. "Shit!" My hand was bleeding, I took the jacket I was wearing and wrapped it around my fist and rushed out, running into Sherry. "I'm sorry!" "Harper, what happened? Are you ok?" I began crying again, "N-no!" She took me to the medical center and it was just superficial cuts, luckily. Dr. Carson bandaged it and sent me on my way.

"Come up and talk with me and the girls!" Sherry begged. "I really don't feel like it." "Come on! We can cheer you up!" She smiled at me, looking like a cheerleader. "Sure." I shrugged my shoulders. We went upstairs and sat down, joining in on a conversation. I couldn't focus though, all I had on my mind was being pregnant and having a baby. I didn't even have Daryl around for support or Eric and Aaron.

"Hey, what's wrong, girl?" Tanya asked sitting next to me. "I'm pregnant. I'm fucking pregnant." I blurted out without even thinking. "It'll be ok." Tanya rubbed my back. "It was one mistake that we made and this happens? I'm so stupid!" I placed my hands in my face. "We'll figure it out, come up with a plan so you can get back to the father." Sherry said. "That's not going to happen. Negan has me on lock down and will probably kill people from Alexandria." "Not if we sneak you out." Frankie chimed in. "We should be able to get you out in a few days." Sherry said reassuringly. "T-thanks guys. I'll figure it out on my own, I don't want you getting into trouble." I wiped my nose.

"I knew you'd be in here, Harp. Wait, what the fuck is wrong with you, bunny?" Negan rushed over to me as Tanya moved. He wrapped his arms around me and I buried my face into his chest, feeling safe and secure. "What the fuck happened to your hand, baby?" He asked softly. "I-I p-punched a m-mirror." "Fuck. Let's get you back to my place. What the fuck are you all looking at?" He looked around at his wives who were in shock for how he was acting.

We sat on the couch while I lay on his lap as he stroked my head. "Bunny, what's wrong?" I just shook my head. "Everything will be ok, you have me, doll." He wiped a tear from my cheek. I wanted to go home and be with Daryl, he'd know what to do. I needed to get to Alexandria, tonight.


	21. Burning On

Negan had nodded off and was snoring loudly, which only happened when he was exhausted. I kissed his cheek and went to his room, grabbing a bag and began packing it. I also grabbed some canned food from the pantry. I grabbed one of the kitchen knives for a weapon, since I didn't have much of a choice and quickly headed out, putting the hood of my jacket up.

The guy guarding Negan's door was fast asleep and I snatched his gun and radio. Maybe I could get a hold of Eugene. Keys! He had keys on his belt buckle and I grabbed them. I walked out to the yard where there were a lot of bikes. Fuck I didn't have time for this, and it'd be too loud. I looked around and there was no one on watch, which seemed odd.

There was a lock on the gate and a unique looking key so I decided to give that a shot and holy shit, it actually worked! I was free, fucking free! I ran through the woods in the dark, knowing exactly where I needed to go, which was going to take me a few hours. I could technically stop at The Hilltop to rest, since they were closer, but I would see how I felt.

About an hour had passed and I stopped to get some water and try the radio. "Eugene, are you there? It's Harper! I got out, please respond!" I yelped and got nothing back but static. I leaned up against a tree and sighed. "Hello?" My heart began racing, no fucking way! "Eugene?" I yelled as tears streamed down my face. "Oh my God, can you grab Daryl?" "Yes, just give me a sec!"

A few walkers came, attracted to the noise and I quickly took them out. I climbed up a tree to keep away from them. "Harper?" It was Daryl's voice! "Daryl, I broke out! I'm by the hilltop!" I could hear yelling in the distance. "Let us meet you there!" "Fuck, they're coming after me. I wanted to tell you that I love you and I'm pregnant!" "Holy shit! I-I'm so happy Harp, I love you too-" "I gotta go!" I jumped down.

"Come on, girly! You thought you could get away that easily?" It was Simon. They must have used cars to catch up to me. "Harper, please come back! The wives told me why you were crying!" I continued running and turned back to see how close they were and no longer felt the ground beneath my feet. "Fuck!" I yelled as I tumbled and felt a sharp pain in my stomach. Oh God, my stomach! I panicked, looking down and running my hands across my abdomen. I had been impaled by a stick. "No!" I screamed bloody murder. "Bunny? Where the fuck are you? Holy fuck! Baby, what happened? Shit, we need to get to the fucking Hill top right the fuck now!"

He picked me up as I continued crying. "You're going to be ok, bunny. You're going to be ok." He even sounded worried, which was bad since he was always so confident. "Fuck, you gotta stay awake, baby!" Everything went black.

I slowly opened my eyes, had I died? Things came into focus and Negan and Daryl were asleep in the chairs. "Harper?" I looked over at the doctor. "Is-is the baby ok?" "I'm so sorry. There was nothing I could do." He lowered his head as I began to cry uncontrollably. Why did I feel so heart-broken? I didn't want the baby. I just felt so sad and empty.

"Daryl?" I whimpered as his eyes opened. "Harper!" He had tears at the brim of his eyes as he embraced me. "I'm sorry Daryl, I-I-" "It's not your fault Harp. I'm just glad you're ok." He kissed my forehead. "Negan, he saved you." I looked over at him as he was trying to sneak out. "Negan, thank you. If you hadn't come after me, I'd probably be dead." "It's no big deal, bunny…I-I mean, Harper." He smiled awkwardly and brushed his unkempt hair back with his hand. "Thank you." Daryl said and Negan left.

Daryl kissed my lips as he began crying, "I was so worried about you and missed you so much. I love you." He said as he rested his forehead on mine. "I love you too, Daryl." I whispered, wondering where Negan had gone off to. "Daryl, I hate to break this up, but she really needs rest." Daryl nodded his head, giving me one last kiss and I, yet again began to cry.

"You have to be on bed rest for almost a month, you were lucky. That stick missed your major organs." He handed me a box of tissue. "Thank you, doctor…" "Carson." He smiled at me. "Wait, do you have a brother?" He nodded his head. "He works at The Sanctuary, he's a wonderful doctor!" "That's what Negan was telling me. Said I can go and visit him anytime. Now, you get some rest."

I didn't think I'd be able to sleep, but I did and for almost three days. I had reunited with everyone, which was great and Eric and Aaron were with me catching me up on the news of Alexandria. I smiled at them and Negan had walked in, "Fuck…I mean, shit…God dammit!" He began to back out, "Wait, Negan!" I said, "Can you give us a moment?" "Of course." Aaron smiled at me as Negan sat at the end of my bed. "You look great, bunny." He said looking around. "Thank you." I smiled at him feeling all warm and tingly.

"I decided you can go back with your group and we worked out your crazy deal." He looked down smiling. "Don't worry, I won't be raising hell on you guys. And you're right, they're one hell of a group…and that Daryl guy isn't too fucking bad as well as Rick, who is no longer a prick." He looked out the window, the sun making his eyes an amber brown. "You'll only have to see me every once in a while, I'll be out of your fucking life." No! Harper, say something! I opened my mouth, "Negan, I-" Daryl rushed in, with flowers in hand, "See you around, Harper." Negan got up and walked past Daryl, not even looking at me. I couldn't do anything at the moment, and boy did it suck.

A month had passed and I was finally on my feet again, which felt great. I had just stepped foot in Alexandria and was happy to be back, but still missed Negan. "Welcome home!" Daryl said as we entered our home, nothing had changed. "Thank you, Daryl!" I said as I pecked him on the lips. "I can't wait to get back into the swing of things." "Maggie and Glen invited us over for dinner, told em' it'd be up to you though." He said as we walked upstairs. "That sounds great to me." I said running my hands over my old clothes. "Ok, I'll let 'em know." I smiled at him and decided to shower.

I looked in the mirror at the freshly healed scar on my stomach. I was a fucking scarred mess. I got dressed and made a quick chocolate pie. "We're on for 5!" He said wrapping his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek, "Great!" I smiled.

We sat at the tablet with a very pregnant Maggie and Glen. It was actually just what I needed, they were such a fun couple and I was glad to have them in my life. After dinner I was helping Maggie serve up desert. "So, is it great to be back with Daryl?" She asked grabbing some forks, "Y-yeah." I said biting my lip. "What's on your mind?" She looked at me concerned. "I love Daryl, but I still have feelings for Negan…" "Well, since he was your first everything then I'm sure he'll always be special to you, but it doesn't mean you have to be with him forever." I looked over at her, smiling, "That's true."

I hoped that I would get over Negan. Having him in the picture made things too complicated. Daryl and I got ready for bed and I cuddled up next to him, "Have a good time?" He asked rubbing my shoulder. "Yeah, you?" "Mhm, glad we went…so it's been a while-" "I'm not in the mood, Daryl. I'm really tired." I turned my back to him and heard him sigh, "Alright, night."

I woke up the next morning and shuffled down stairs and there was an abrupt knock on the door, "Morning." It was Rick, "Hey, what's going on? Come in." I said as he entered and I began brewing coffee. "I came to ask you a favor." He rubbed his arm, "Ok? Want a cup?" He shook his head, "No thanks, this will be short." "Lay it on me, chief." I said as Daryl walked down stairs. "Hey Rick, morning." He kissed me on the cheek as I handed him a cup of joe.

"The Sanctuary is short on medical staff and I was hoping that you could go over there for a few weeks, maybe months?" I nearly spat out my coffee, "Wh-what?" "I know it's crazy, but they could really use you Harper." I looked over at Daryl, "It would suck to have you gone, but I could visit. Negan saved you, Harp." He rubbed my back, "Ok, when do I leave?" My heart began racing, the thought of seeing Negan excited me. "Today, in a few hours? I'll let Negan know and he'll pick you up. Thank you, Harper. I know this will be hard on you two, but it's only temporary." "You're welcome, bye Rick." I opened the door as he smiled and strolled out. "Are you sure this ok?" I faced Daryl, "Yeah. It has to be done, I'll miss you though." He kissed me on the forehead. "I'll miss you too. I better pack."

I stood there with Daryl by my side and watched as a truck pulled up. Would Negan be there? I hope so. "Ready to go?" Dwight asked as he rolled his window down, "Yup, bye guys! Bye Daryl, I love you." I kissed him and left. I felt like this trip would only put more of a strain on mine and Daryl's relationship.


	22. Love of my Life Don't Leave Me

"So, how have things been going?" I asked Dwight as he focused on the road ahead.

"A lot better since Negan found out you were still alive. He doesn't treat us like shit 24/7 and I get to be with Sherry again." My breathing quickened.

"That's great. I'm happy for you Dwight. Does he just have one wife now?" I clenched my fists out of anticipation.

"Nope, he has been living the single life since you left. He really cares about you, Harper." He looked over at me briefly. I could feel my face turning red and brushed a stray hair off my cheek. I smiled over at him and the rest of the ride was quiet.

We arrived at The Sanctuary and I felt sick to my stomach. I got out grabbing my things.

"Here, I'll get that for you and show you where you'll be staying."

"Thanks, Dwight." I smiled at him and we walked in.

"Where's Negan?" We walked towards my temporary home.

"He's out on a run right now. You excited to see him?" He asked as he unlocked the door and let me go in first.

"Y-yeah." I said as I began unpacking my things.

"Hey, baby!" Sherry embraced Dwight.

"Harper, how are you doing? I'm so sorry." She hugged me.

"How are you holding up?"

"Fine." I said feeling uneasy.

"I'll leave you two. Good to have you here, Harp." Dwight disappeared.

"Since you've left things have changed so much! In a good way though."

"That's what Dwight was telling me." I sat on my bed as she joined me.

"Negan will be happy to see you…I think you really hurt him though."

"I know." I hung my head down.

"I miss him and still have feelings with him but I'm in a serious relationship." She nodded her head sympathetically.

"Harper! Can you come help me out, it's Negan!" Dr. Carson was covered in blood. I rushed down the hallway with him and was less than a minute away from the clinic. Negan was lying on the table groaning while Simon held pressure on his abdomen.

"Oh my God!" I exclaimed.

"B-bunny?" He began coughing and blood gushed out of his mouth.

"He's bleeding internally, we need to do surgery." I nodded my head as Simon stepped back and placed and IV quickly while Dr. Carson quickly scrubbed, I sprayed Iodine on the area to make it somewhat sterile and gave him some pain meds.

"Propofol, should I use that?" Dr. C nodded his head as I began titrating it.

"I'm so fucking happy you're here, bunny." He reached for my face, but the drugs were kicking in so he knocked out.

"Shit, this doesn't look good, I'm going to need a second pair of hands, Simon?" Blood was covering the ground.

"C-can I do what she's doing?" He asked turning pale.

"Just keep checking his pulse and slowly give this." He nodded as I threw some gloves on.

"Hold this spot here so I can get a better view…God dammit, major artery got hit. I haven't fixed one of these in I don't know how long." He grabbed suture.

"Fuck, his pulse his feeling weak."

"Give him a bolus of fluids." I said calmly.

"Hold this hemostat, Harper." I grabbed it.

"Ok, I've got it…it's friable but I think I'll be able to fix it."

"How's his pulse, Simon?" I asked

"Getting stronger."

"Good, continue the fluids." I said.

"Got it! Ok, looks like nothing else is bleeding and his major organs look unharmed. We're going to have to watch him very closely upon recovery."

"I can do that." I said without a thought.

Dr. Carson had finished closing and left me to recover Negan. This whole ordeal had really brought things to perspective. I loved Negan and wanted to be with him, I loved Daryl too but not in the same way. I held onto Negan's hand, being sure to check his vitals every few minutes.

"Negan?" I said softly.

"Hmm? Oh God!" He groaned. "What happened?"

"Here, take these." I handed him some pain medication and water, he tried sitting up.

"Fuck!"

"Here, you need to take it easy, Negan. You had a major surgery." I lifted his head and helped him.

"Thanks, bunny. I'm so glad you're here….I missed you." He caressed my face as I held his hand.

"I missed you too, Negan. Now get some rest."

"How's he doing?" Simon asked walking in.

"As good as he can be, I suppose."

"I just wanted to say that you handled everything really well, given the circumstances…if I was in that situation I don't think I'd be able to keep my cool." I nodded my head and smiled as he walked out. I fell asleep by his side.

"Bunny?"

"Hm?" I sat up wiping drool from my face.

"Sorry!" I panicked as he chuckled.

"Fuck that hurts! I hate to bother you, but I really need to go to the bathroom." I helped him up and stood at the door as he relieved himself. He washed his hands and came out and I placed his arm over my shoulder.

"What would I do without you?" He smirked at me, causing my heart to pitter patter.

"I mean, honestly I don't think you'd be alive." I carefully helped him into bed.

"Are you hungry? I can get you something." I said standing up and awkwardly rubbing my arm.

"Not really, maybe later. What's wrong bunny?" He asked, his eyes searching mine.

"N-nothing. I just want to make sure you're alright is all." I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions and tears cascaded down my face.

"Hey, it's ok baby." He said grabbing my hand.

"I-I thought you were g-going to die." I gasped.

"I'm ok, sweetheart, really. Come here." He opened his arms and I lightly fell into them, sobbing. He stroked my head and softly kissed me on my forehead.

"I'm supposed to be c-comforting you!" I said looking up at him and sighing.

"Bunny, you know that I will always take care of you, no matter what." He wiped the tears away from my face and a small smile spread across my face.

I sat up and stood, stretching as my stomach growled loudly.

"Go get yourself something to eat!"

I made eggs and toast in the kitchen for me and Negan. It's be something light on his stomach. I walked back and sat with him as we ate.

"You still with Daryl?" He asked as my heart dropped.

"Yeah. We're growing distant though so I'm not sure what will become of it."

"He's a good guy, I can tell he really cares about you." He said, setting his piece of toast down as if he had lost his appetite. He was pretending to be happy for me, while his heart was broken.

"You know when I had lost the baby and you had left?" I bit my lip, feeling very anxious.

"Yeah, you called after me but I couldn't stop. I was too sad." He whispered the last part looking down at his plate of food.

"I was going to tell you that I still had feelings for you…that I loved you." I fidgeted with my hands.

"Loved?" He asked, wearing a sad expression.

"Shit, I mean love. I do love you Negan…I have to be faithful to Daryl though and trying figuring things out." I pushed my scrambled eggs around on my plate.

"I love you too, bunny. You're the only one I want to be with. I wish we had never been split up." He looked at me, a half smile on his face.

"Me too. Then things wouldn't be so fucking complicated." I rubbed my forehead. I knew I wanted to be with Negan, but felt like I owed it to Daryl to try and make things work…why though?

Negan sighed, laying back and looking up at the ceiling.

"I'm going to try and get some sleep." He said, I could tell he was trying to not look at me.

"Let me take some vitals real quick, and you're due for some pain meds too!" I said grabbing my stethoscope.

I pulled the covers down, revealing his bare skin as well as his fresh wound. There was no bruising around the abdomen and his lungs and heart sounded good.

"Hey, this is new." I ran my hand over a tattoo I hadn't seen before that was on his collar bone. It was a small rabbit.

"It's for you, bunny. You're someone I always want to remember." He smiled, grabbing my hand and rubbing it.

"That's probably the sweetest thing anyone has done for me." I looked at him, wanting to so badly kiss him.

"O-ok, here, take this and then you're good to go." I handed him a pill, breaking the intimate moment up.

"Thanks, baby." He threw it back and I grabbed a book sitting next to him.

"What, you're just going to sit there all night…watching me?" He opened one eye, watching me.

"Yup, doctors order." I turned a page, looking up at him, feeling warmth spread throughout my body.

"How about you read to me." He said, closing his eyes and resting his hands on his stomach.

I read to him until he fell asleep. I put the book down, pulling his covers up. God, was he handsome. It was as if he had gotten better with age.

I kissed his forehead and was about to sit back down when Simon came in.

"Hey, Harp. Daryl wanted to talk to you." He handed me a radio.

"I can't leave Negan's side." I said, yawning.

"I can watch him. I'll grab you if anything happens." He said quietly, shooing me out.

"Hey Daryl, what's up?" I stretched out.

"Hey, just wanted to make sure you're alright."

"Just tired. Negan got injured badly so I'm watching him just in case something happens."

"Oh, is he going to be ok?"

"I think so, I better get back to him." I said, feeling sick to my stomach.

"Wait! Is everything ok between us?"

Shit, what should I say? I inhaled deeply.

"Harper, you there?" He sounded worried, and rightfully so.

"Y-yeah, I'm still here." I leaned up against the wall, sliding down, "Being with Negan…it's bringing up a lot of emotions, Daryl." I closed my eyes, dreading his response.

"It's only been one day, Harp. I didn't realize you had such a deep connection with him." He sounded hurt, which broke my heart.

"Can we talk about this some other time, maybe in person?" Tears welled up in my eyes and I bit my lip.

"I'll come up tomorrow. I can't lose you, Harry." His voice was shaky.

"That should be fine. Night." My throat felt tight as I tried holding it together.

"Love you." I turned the radio off and began quietly crying, holding onto the radio. I already knew my decision, I was dreading talking with Daryl tomorrow.

I took a deep breath and wiped away my tears, preparing myself to go back in with Negan. Simon looked at me as I entered and I smiled at him.

"Everything alright, kid?" He asked, standing up as I handed him his radio. I nodded my head, knowing that if I said anything I would cry. He looked at me sympathetically and squeezed my shoulder.

"Let me know if you need anything."

I looked at Negan as he slept, he looked so peaceful. I crawled up next to him, resting my head on his chest, hearing the steady beat of his heart. He wrapped his arm around me and that's how I spent the rest of my night.

I sat up, noting the sun rising and stretched. I was exhausted.

"Everything ok?" Dr. Carson whispered as he peeked his head through the door.

"Yes, he's been stable all night." I rolled my neck since it was stiff.

"Jessica can relieve you, I think it'd be good if you got some rest."

"It's ok. I want to stay with him." I yawned.

"It really wasn't a question, come on now. I need you in tip top shape." I smiled kindly. I was too tired to argue.

I showered, ate a small breakfast and went to bed. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out.

"Harper?" Someone softly said as I flew up.

"Is Negan ok?" I pushed my hair out of my face and tried focusing on the figure sitting on my bed.

"Daryl?" My eyes came into focus to an exhausted looking Daryl.

"Hey." He looked at me sadly, as if knowing what was going to happen.

"Hello." I said quietly, barely able to maintain eye contact with him.

"You've felt this way since finding out since he was alive, huh?" He clenched his jaw, totally skipping the small talk. All I was able to do was nod my head.

"Is there anything I can do…to keep you around?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"Daryl, I'm so sorry." I placed my hand on his as he stared at the ground.

"I love you, Harper." I could see tears hitting the ground and felt like complete shit.

"You deserve better Daryl. You're such a great guy." God, I probably sounded like such a bitch.

"I only want you, Harp." He looked at me, his heart breaking right then and there and squeezed my hand. I felt like throwing up, relationships sucked.

"I can't do it anymore, I'm sorry. I'm setting you free." I rubbed his hand with my thumb as he loosened the grip, pulling it away.

He got up, placing his hand on the door knob, "I'll always love you." And with that he was gone.

I fell back in my bed and began sobbing uncontrollably. So many things had happened in just the past few months and this was one of the hardest things. I wanted to tell Daryl that I still loved him, but as a friend….but I knew that would have probably hurt him even more. He was my best friend, and I had just lost him. Things between us would never be the same.


End file.
